About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, September 19, 2016


One Of My Very Own…


My reality check bounced.

True to my word I am posting a pretty decent photo of a cat.

I like the way the stripes beside the nose mimic the stripes in the leg. I like the triangle made by the nose and tips of the ears. I like the way the ear hairs line up with the curb and edge of the water. I even like the furtive look in the little bastard's face.

More animals of interest...

I don't know why this surprises me so much, they get very, very close to the water for a living, so the occasional accident is bound to happen.

This reminds me of my honeymoon...

When my wife got on top.

Said to be "Things native English speakers know, but don't know we know."

I have found this to be true, but I've never ever been actually taught the order.
My rule is: If it sounds weird rearrange it until it doesn't sound weird.

You know how much better the beers you sneak at work taste?


Shit like that gives a train lover a hard-on.

I have no clue as to what this is...

Wood ants spray acid to defend their colony.

I wonder if I knew that and forgot, or I never knew it in the first place, but that is fucking awesome.

Seriously, have you ever seen anything like that before? No, you haven't. Think about the cycle of life that represents, since the human is going to eat the crabs.

Got a crafty wife? Turn her on to this...

And I will let this speak for itself...

I always say that Goose Bay, Labrador was so cold that when you went outside to pee, it stacked up like sticks.

No matter how good the soap smells, never get caught smelling your fingers coming out of a public bathroom.

I laugh at shit like this all the time...

But you have to remember I helped small children through Field Day with similar results.

A couple of idiots nibbling the Carolina Reaper.

Just watch and enjoy...

There are no words.

She's a keeper.

Steve Irwin is bitten by a python...bleeds...continues like a pro!


If you do this, just remember that the whole world hates you...

And if you can haul a cooler full of beer bottles in, you can haul a cooler full of empty beer bottles out.

If not mistaken, I have driven this exact highway.

There was never many - if any - other cars, and I would slow down to just enjoy the view for as long as possible. Believe it or not, we never saw a snake.

And not only is this an artistic marvel, it looks kind of like that road...even the way the tar flares out to the right at the beginning.

If whites become the minority, does that mean we get to be cool?

I almost missed this...

I posted that to ask for your help, but then I saw it.

Question: If that actually happened to you, would you admit it to EVERYONE?!?

What font is alphabet soup in?


This is how Southerners respond to yankees telling us about how they do things up there...

Nebraska Cornhusker punter Sam Foltz tragically died in an accident this summer. The Huskers are playing their first game since his death tonight.

When the first punting situation of the evening arrived, the Huskers put only 10 men on the field, leaving the punter's spot empty, and taking the delay of game penalty. Their opponent, the Fresno State Bulldogs, declined the 5-yard penalty.


You would think men who have had a vasectomy would carry around a note from their doctor, or wear a bracelet or something to tell women that they can't get pregnant if they fuck him.

I deem that hilarious.

Why is there a W in answer?


These are Crumpled Toilet Paper Tubes.

This from a true story from a doctor:


Within reason, I guess.

Read this:
"Seriously. Why are you people so determined to say that there is no god? I don't believe in god, but you are driving me fucking insane. And everyone claims religious people shove their beliefs on people. I know far more Christians than atheists, but none of them try to convert me."

No, they don't try to convert you, they just do things like not let you buy beer on Sunday; or demand that Creationism is taught right along with evolution; or ban abortions;....the list is endless.

So let's pray for an answer...


fejm said...

The word answer has a w in it because the etymology of the word shows it came from a word that means to swear.

Ralph Henry said...

Well, of course it does.

Fardygardy said...

The wonderful crumpled toilet paper tubes... I was surprised you didn't see President George W Bush in the lower right. That's the sort of eye you have.

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