About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, September 1, 2016


One Of My Very Own…


Mass Funeral After Quake in Italy

Better information on SETI signal:

In some ways it's sucks that we are smart enough to understand the futility of life. But luckily we're also smart enough to invent alcohol.

How absolutely wonderful...

The reflection makes it look like you can see through the building. What fun.


"Phone" is one of the least used apps on your phone.

Another photo that begs for a story to be written...

I like stories like this...

There is no way Hollywood could remake Scream for millennials because, none of them would answer the phone.

Technically true.

The store sample lady just tried feeding me gluten-free donuts. I may need bail money. I don't remember much. But there's blood everywhere.


Do people who criticize the presidents daughter for smoking pot forget that the last Republican vice president shot his friend in the face.



Did you notice that there were no women doing that stuff? There's a reason for that.

Boarding a train in India.

Did you notice the person who fell and gets trampled?
I read that the reason all those people ride on the roof is that there is simply not enough trains to take people.

And lastly, I took up a new hobby.

A survey by USAToday: 3 out of 4 women have admitted to walking around in public without shoes because their shoes hurt their feet.

Ladies, you want to get equal pay with men? Then quit doing stupid shit, like wearing shoes like this.

We have research from doctors, for god's sake, that tell us they are very bad for your feet, ankles, knees and even hips....but you do it anyway.

You don't see men doing that kind of crap.

Okay, not many men.

Then there are these torture devices...

Thousands of times I've seen women come home and make that relief sigh when they finally take off their bra. I asked every one of them why they would wore such a thing and to a woman they said that I wouldn't understand. They are absolutely right. I will never understand.

Then there is one of my pet peeves...

That women tolerate the fact that men can go topless but they can't.
And even worse than that...

You can get away with it if you just cover up the darker tip of your breast. Who makes up these rules? Did I miss the vote?

Then there is crap like this...

So does this offend you?

No? Well would you let your young son stare at it all day?

Well, how about now?

But with all that said, I must make a confession...

I spend more time than is healthy wondering what other women's nipples look like. Far, far too much time.

That was not me on the skateboard.

This was posted, I assume, to show this woman coming out of that shop...

Years and years ago a friend when into a store that rented porn movies on tape. Back then it was rather novel. So my friend goes up to the old lady who sat behind the counter reading a paperback and asked, "What's the difference between a XX and a XXX movie?" Without looking up from the book, the old lady said matter of factly, "Cum shot."

Now that's a wave pool!

That pool must be 50% urine.

And then there's these two guys at a normal beach...





Question Authority A+

It reads: "This text has no other purpose than to terrify those who are afraid of the Arabic language."

In other words, 2 percent of household germs kinda like Lysol spray.



She could turn a rim job into rape.

If this next girl isn't a lesbian prostitute, then she's missing her calling...

And lastly...

To be perfectly honest, I didn't think that was a tongue at first.

I notice shit like this the moment I walk in a room.

But on the good side, I also notice stuff like this...

If by retirement plan you mean a swear jar, then yes I do have a retirement plan.

Laser printing...

What do they put in those McNuggets?

Most people don't realize that chickpeas only get $0.79 for every $1 a manpea makes.

Black people.

Let's take another look at this...

Nothing, I'm just tired. 
  - every woman, 3 days before they tell you what's wrong.


Ninja Grrrl said...

Bras are very uncomfortable and I wear one every day in public. Why? Try to imagine that half of the human race what's to take something from you that you don't want to give, and they may try to take it violently from you. That principle informs every decision you make. If I go braless then most of my energy is spent fending off unwanted attention that could escalate to my death. Life is battle enough. How many things do you do every day not to be raped? Every woman you know can immediately answer that question, at length. You can only imagine it.

Ninja Grrrl said...

I did not intend to sound so harsh: I know that I can only imagine what it's like to be a soldier, for example. I was trying to explain why I make the choice I do.

Ralph Henry said...

I don't think you sounded harsh at all.

Ninja Grrrl said...

Thank you for understanding where I was coming from, friend. I'd have been upset if my words seemed accusatory or rude towards you in any way. I consider you a friend,and I don't use that word lightly. I am so, so grateful that you keep doing what you do. You're one hell of a good teacher.

Ralph Henry said...

You can't imagine how warm your words are to me. I am proud to be your friend.

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