About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

WEDNESDAY #2872

One Of My Very Own…


EMAIL
ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com











I can attest to that.



Somebody ranked Halloween candy.

I skipped the middle tier...

I found this hilarious...


Mr. E.T.

I thought that very funny.

I had a friend who once did this. He had a hole cut in the plywood supporting the seat cushion and could reach up and tickle the ass of whoever sat in it. There were several totally innocent men slapped that night.

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Had my first nightmare about nuclear war since I was a kid. I guess Russia's Satan II is working.
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I have gotten so much mileage out of this joke I thought I should pass it on...



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This is the plot of my views since the very start.

The dip there in the middle was caused by Google not taking you to the site when you clicked on an image...bummer. Anyway, I never thought I would get so excited about the mere number of viewers, but, by god, I like it. I really do. So, you wonderful long time viewers, tell you friends; put a link on your Facebook page; put it in the church bulletin! I WANT MORE!



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Paying rent is like hitting the snooze button on being homeless.

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THE MAKING OF THINGS
2022 World Cup

Qatar’s construction frenzy ahead of the 2022 World Cup is on course to cost the lives of at least 4,000 migrant workers before a ball is kicked.
You might want to research that.

I'm going to assuming animation is going to get a whole lot better...


Imagine the testing that goes into military vehicles. Mind boggling.

Every hinge, every switch.

How dinner plates are made.

Believe it or not, not all of the clay has the same pressure applied to it. If I recall my ceramics classes correctly, the center has to have more pressure or it will crack in the kiln.



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If you stare at this long enough, the dots appear to move about.


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My wife just told me she wants a man who'll drag her to the bedroom, throw her on the bed & do dirty dishes while she take a nap, then added, "Is that too much to ask?"

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THINGS THAT GO BOOM


For when you are in Texas and you want to shot an elephant...inside a vault...in Oklahoma.

Firing the Gyrojet, a Space Age handgun which used rocket fuel instead of gunpowder.
I was always fascinated by this gun
Original Source here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VdW8Trh_MGg

Did you notice it had little or no recoil?

I watch a video years ago about a perimeter protection weapon made with those "rocket bullets." The beauty was that they can be stacked in the barrel and multiple barrels can be fitted in a box. Once activated the bullets rush out damn near all at once at a ridiculous rate...like 12,000 a seconds.

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THINGS YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAY

First low tide after Hurricane Matthew reveals treasure.

What a strange image...which I assume was his/her goal.

But for the love of art, where is the foot washing guy?

This extraordinary display of fluid mechanics in action was first noticed in 1963 by Kaye, and is thusly named after him.

Sauce: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GX4_3cV_3Mw

An island in a lake in an island in a lake that's on an island in the ocean.


Gynecologist's training for your mom's next appointment?

If I did that, I am certain I would hit the back of my head or my chin on the edge of the hole.

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UNUSUAL PHOTOGRAPHS OF FACES


Frozen spiderwebs on a statue.

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There is one argument and one argument alone for having a gun. That is 'I like guns!'

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LIFE


Seriously, is the meaning of life the mere acquisition of things? I think not.
Why is it not the learning of everything you can? Why isn't it the number of people you helped outright with things they need, or helped them feel better about themselves?


I find myself doing that only as I'm trying to fall asleep. I cure it with thinking about things that I will never understand.
This is one of them...

So, let me tell you about some of my assumptions:
A. Intelligent creatures will probably live on a planet much like ours...water, seasons, etc.
B. The whole universe if fraught with the same hazards we face - giant astroid impacts, total nuclear (or worse) war, weaponized plague, normal everyday plagues, a drug proof microbe.
C. It takes about the same number of years for simple organisms to morph into intelligent creatures who can think about things like this.
D. No matter what you do, you ain't never getting from point A to point B faster than the speed of light and it doesn't matter what you try to do to space itself.
From these assumptions I deduce that intelligent life has a life expectancy of a finite number of years, then it is wiped out or wipes itself out.
We know that Earth has already had three mass extinctions and there is a certainty that it will happen again. I predict it is the same on every planet or moon that harbors life.
Therefore all intelligent life dies out before it will have time to teleport or bend space or whatever it takes to explore the universe.
Ergo, we have never been visited by aliens. Which is a bummer, because I KNOW they are out there.

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LANGUAGE




This sumbitch trying to play it off as though he didn't already know the answer.


Welcome to the English language.

Draw a line to the correct answer.

Clever boy.

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LO, THE ANIMAL KINGDOM

There are so many things unusual about this I don't know where to start...

Ever seen elephant boobs before?

What assholes.

Not only is this magnificent creature encaged, but then teased mercilessly. Shame.

Cows react to seeing grass after 6 months of being indoors.

Now think of the joy of zoo caged animals if they were released.

Despite a reputation for stupidity, the Shoebill is a masterful hunter. Wait for it...


This is run backwards, of course...

I am going to assume that a cat (or something) hid inside the motor compartment...but that's just my guess.

In 1954, soviet surgeon Vladimir Demikhov, revealed his masterpiece to the world: a two-headed dog.

The head of a puppy had been grafted onto the neck of an adult German shepherd. The second head would lap at milk, even though it did not need nourishment — and though the milk then dribbled down the neck from its disconnected oesophagus. Although both animals soon died because of tissue rejection, that did not stop Demikhov from creating 19 more over the next 15 years.
I used to read about that when I was growing up. I always thought it was just of oneupsmanship of the Cold War.

This awesome dog retrieves the kickoff tee at Boise State's football games.


I laugh every time I see this...



I could have put that last one in today's LIFE section.
Is there such a thing as doggy therapy? Surely even dogs know there is something..."odd" about this.

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PEOPLE EXERCISING POWER




The child lived.
I will repeat, those people don't make near enough money.

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Write -2 -2 x = with a pencil and it sounds just like Chim Chimney from Mary Poppins.
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I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age.

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Yes, and he is talking about the voo-doo shit of ceremonially eating the flesh of your Lord and Master. That shit is just weird, y'all.
This, in a nutshell, is the way I feel about it...

I know that's an unsettling notion...that you are a nobody. It is so unsettling that every culture on Earth has made up stories to convince themselves they were special...so special the volcano god chose them, or the god of thunder chose them for this or that task. But it's all bullshit....and you know it.

6 comments:

Ninja Grrrl said...

I always thought in flagrante delicto meant that you got caught balls deep doing the naughty .

Anonymous said...

I would not get to excited about viewers as everytime i look at a blog I use a VPN so it looks like a new IP address everytime and from a different country. The main reason to use a VPN is it blocks a tracking software and adware that may be inbedded in GIFs.

Anonymous said...

Your "Trump Cinco De Mayo taco bowl" pictures are fake.Look at the original pictures. You are passing on propaganda as true.

Ralph Henry said...

No fucking shit.

Ninja Grrrl said...

Oh ffs. How deficient in irony are you? Ain't no vitamin gonna cure that shit.

Robin said...

"put it in the church bulletin!" - The mental image of the congregation working through one of your anti sermons has a certain horrifying appeal.

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