About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, December 5, 2016

MONDAY #2905

One Of My Very Own...


EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com











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I don't want to alarm anyone but I've purchased an ukulele. Soon as I can jam, there'll be auditions for my band behind the 7-11.
NO WEIRDOS

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THINGS YOU PROBABLY DON'T KNOW ABOUT AUSTRALIA




I would have liked to have seen that.



Sand?


7X Larger than King Ranch in the USA and larger than Belgium.


I think that is because Australia has some of the oldest bedrock in the world. Like dating back to when the crust first hardened.


I've always thought that Aussies and Americans (especially rednecks) have a lot in common.

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ABANDONED PLACES
Train Depot In Czestochowa, Poland


Hashima Island, Japan

Abandoned doesn't not mean no one lives there, just that nobody gives a shit.


House Of The Bulgarian Communist Party In Mount Buzludzha, Bulgaria.


Mirny Diamond Mine In Siberia, Russia.

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If god didn't intend for us to eat animals, he probably freaked out when we started. Now imagine the first time Adam stuck his dick in Eve's mouth.
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INTERESTING THINGS PEOPLE HAVE SAID




Guy sent this to his girlfriend before she went out of town.


I wonder how many people get that.


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ARTISTS ARTISTS ARTISTS 



Photographic ain't it...

Guy's good...





Two of my friends from grad school moved to New York and got a job in a painting factory to pay for their serious art. They got paid per piece and was expected to paint 10 to 15 painting PER HOUR. The company would bring in pre-stretched, prepared canvases on a rolling rack that would keep the wet painting from touching. Then, as an example, the artist would take a canvas and hurriedly paint in the sky on all in the rack. Then he would go through the canvasses and add, say, five tree trunks. He added bit after bit until the canvases were complete. That is why none of them are identical and can be advertised as "Original Artworks."

Here are two examples:


We professionals call that kitsch.

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Now that they found water on Mars, how long before they bottle it & sell it at Whole Foods for $19?

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Girls just want to have fun...



This reminds me, the female power lifter friend of mine just hit 525 pounds for the first time. And she's cute as a button.

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ODDNESSES YOU DON'T SEE EVERYDAY


That was a fish drinking beer. Are you not amused?

Don't get confused...

It took about 11 times watching to realize it is about the ref.

HOLY BLACK NUT SACK BATMAN!


For all you people who keep marbles in your pocket...


Yeah, it looks all dangerous and shit, but...

Have you ever seen a mountain made of dirt?

Mountain biking with a stabilized camera.

Very good young friend broke is collar bone doing that. He was miles from his car at the time and not only had to get himself back up the mountain, but he had to carry his bike.



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An astronaut and his brother at Thanksgiving dinner: "Ooooh la la Gary's going to spaaaace. *does jerkoff motion* And I'll be here on EARTH where my pizza & TV won't FLOAT AWAY!

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LEARNING


Had I been standing there I wouldn't have stopped him either. That's how the rules of physics are learned, and he just learned several of them at one time.

This is fun! You draw a doodle of a prompted item with your touchpad or mouse and the computer tries to figure out what it is. It didn't do all that good with mine.
Give it a try.
https://quickdraw.withgoogle.com/
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WHEN THINGS GO WRONG



Accident at the lightsaber factory?

White hot metal flopping around the room and they....just stand there.
That sound you just heard was the collective gasp of worksite safety inspectors all around the world.
And that sort of thing seems to happen much more often than I would have thought.


Sounds like 'One Flew Over...' You think it was a true story or is the above bullshit?



Can you assume that fish is poisonous or something?


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I was really excited to read that it was National Orgasm Week until my wife told me it was also National Headache Week.

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Don't believe that part applies to you?


1 comment:

smk762 said...

Hiya Ralph,

I don't think that fish is poisonous, but it looks like a catfish species. They tend to have some nice sharp spikes along the edge of their dorsal and pectoral fins. It can pierce human skin easily enough, and can also contain a venom which is hemolytic and causes edema (only $10 words for you mate). Rarely deadly, but not very comfortable, and enough to make you spit out dinner.

Peace from downunda you seppo bastard ;)

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