About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016


One Of My Very Own...

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

 Ever wonder why Iran hates the US so much? Yeah, well remember the Shah and his death squads? He was our guy.

It's shit like that that gets me banned in Russia.

The Put-Ads-On-Folio-Olio vote is in: 6,548 for; a guy named Larry against.
Just kidding. I didn't know ads screwed things up. Here's some good advice, though:
"I think you would make more money with a "Buy Ralph a beer" button."
Not only will I not put ads on FO, but I will see what I can do about gifs and some pictures running slow or not opening. However, I have never had this problem on my phone or my Mac.
My wife has, but not me.
If you have any concrete advice, please offer it...but dumb it down. I ain't very good with such things.
By the way, welcome back to my Russian friends. It's been a while.

If dumping the last of your chips into the dip and eating it like cereal is wrong then I don't wanna be right.


Sam: Welcome to Multiple Personality Club.
Sam: No one else is here.
Sam: You're here.



 How absolutely wonderful.

Ok. Sure. It's a giant golden Lenin head in a parking lot in Belarus. You act like you've never seen one before.

Parking signs at laser eye surgery center in Brentwood, NY.

Tilt shift makes this look like a Tonka toy.


I texted someone "hell yeah," but autocorrect changed it to "hell year" because even our phones know.


I'm not a fan of cats.

Having an animal who just hours before mauled a filthy mouse, sitting on your table, or counters or cutting board just kind of sickens me.

A Silly Human Poses With His Beloved Cats to Recreate Famous Movie Scenes

Let's tell a story with pictures, shall we...

The Belgian Blue Bull

Hammerhead?....Hammer. Head.
What Happens Next?
A. An ostrich appears.
B. A car runs through the building.
C. The building just disappears.
D. The biggest snake you've ever seen attacks photographer. 

Hockey Player and fan interaction. What happens next?

 A. He throws something at her.
B. She attacks him.
C. He gives her personal grooming advice.
D. The man behind her slaps the shit out of her.


Location: Canada

I've become inured to photos like this. I guess it's because I've seen so very many of them.

 But this next one is different.
 The super moon over an oil refinery chimney.

Can't you just smell the wood fire?
 This is the Stump House deep in the North Cascades, Washington by Dylan Furst.


 I wonder how many other things he had to massage before the rectal thing worked?

The human lung after snorting only three marijuanas. Stay informed.

 It is with a strange sense of smugness that I can truthfully say I have never entered a Starbucks.
 Puzzle time
5 minutes into Curling and Chill she gives you this look...

"What's the craziest thing you've ever done in bed?"

"The slide was longer than I expected."
"That's what she said."
(please don't tell me that is fake. I don't care.)
Puzzle Time Solution: It was sort of a trick question in that the 3 and 4 containers fill simultaneously.

Luger Carbine

If the guy in the black car was smart...
 He would do exactly what the guy in the silver car did to the next driver.
What Happens Next
C. He gives her personal grooming advice.

C. The building just disappears.

I just hope all those dozens of night lights we've left in motel rooms have a nice home and are happy.

 I once described my wife as the Johnny Appleseed of night lights.

You can believe this...

Or you can believe this...

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