About Me

My photo
I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, January 27, 2017

FRIDAY GOOD NEWS/BAD NEWS #2959

One Of My Very Own...

EMAIL: 


SWEET HOME ALABAMA
---
WONDERFUL MARCHING SIGNS

Subtle that.



---
In another time far, far away...

---
I hope this comes true...
Late Note: My wife just told me this is, in fact, going to happen. I sure wish I knew a scientist who is going to attend.

---
---

So the takeaway from that is that we are not allowed to protest because someone else always has it worse. I don't think it works that way.
---
---
Obama's policy of allowing border agents to demand foreigners' social media accounts at border crossing has been expanded under Trump; now, people are being illegally profiled based on their religious affiliation and made to hand over their social media logins for data-mining and algorithmic suspicion-generation when they return home to the USA.
Note: There is a thin line between evil profiling and prudent survival skills. I do not know where that line is.
---
On Wednesday, all of the senior managers of the US State Department quit en masse. The Washington Post reports that it's "part of an ongoing mass exodus of senior foreign service officers who don’t want to stick around for the Trump era."
---
And finally a comment from an old and trusted friend:

"I'm afraid I'm one of the people who disagree with you strongly about whether or not transgender women are women. You must understand what that costs a person, to live out an unpopular truth. It can get you killed. When those people talk and tell me what would make their lives easier, and it's just changing a pronoun, I'm gonna do it." 

Now THAT is how you present a counter-argument. It is, after all, just a pronoun to me, but to another a whole life view.
Thank you sweet lady.


<>
Wife tells me to drink more fluids. I remind her fluids are literally the only thing you CAN drink. 
Husband - 1
Wife - 0


THE GOOD NEWS


You got to love these guys.


Climate change argument in a nutshell...

---

---

---
NS, the Dutch rail operator, has announced that its trains now run on 100 percent wind energy, according to The Guardian. Together with energy supplier Eneco, the railway company—which runs about 5500 trips a day—achieved the global milestone on January 1, substantially before its goal of 2018.
Over the course of an hour, a single windmill can power a train traveling 120 miles. According to NS and Eneco, this enables 600,000 train travelers per day to travel without generating emissions.

---
Speaking of windmills, The Second Life of Wind Turbine Blades

---
Danish police saluting newly wed gay colleague.
With dildos?

---
A rare experimental glass penny made during World War II has netted a pretty penny at auction — $70,500.
I never heard of them.

<>
Never let your man leave the house hungry or horny, because somewhere out there is a whore with sandwiches.


THE BAD NEWS

"Non-Terrifying" Gas Mask
1941: B.F. Goodrich Co., invented a "non-terrifying gas mask" that a pretty girl could wear "and remain a pretty girl and not become a gargoyle."

---
This is just one reason people should not be allowed to remain in their car...

---
High school apologizes for math problem about sexual assault.

---
Since age 10, Bajandar has suffered from epidermodysplasia verruciformis, an ultra-rare skin disease characterized by extreme sensitivity to the human papillomavirus (HPV), which prompted bark-like warts to practically swallow his hands.

---
Phrases used by Kelly Thomas begging for his life while getting beat to death by police officers.

---
No word on whether the car is occupied...
That's terrifying.

---
What it's like to be in an avalanche...

<>
I remember the day my daughter asked me if mayonnaise was a mammal. The day I cashed in the college fund and installed a pool in the backyard.


LANGUAGE


---

---
Okay, I get it, but that reminds me of the office that had a large sign that stated that it cost 50 cents per copy and suggested that the machine be used less. But that's misleading. The more copies you print, the lower the per copy cost.

---

<>
Did you realize that you can glue the tip of your cat's tail to the back of its neck to make a carrying handle?


LET'S LEARN SOMETHING, SHALL WE

So, does their lack of training period make them simpler or brighter than us humans who can't even walk for a couple of years?

---
Fast ain't it?

---
I wonder how much money they spent making this brilliant deduction?

---
Exxon Mobile was ordered to turn over 40 years of documents on Wednesday showing the company’s views on and knowledge of climate change.
The ruling was made by a Massachusetts judge in an investigation led by the state’s attorney general, who is working to determine how much the company knew about the link between fossil fuels and climate change, and also to determine whether Exxon intentionally hid or suppressed information from the public and investors. 

---

---
I'm thinking heating and cooling of the outer shell of the spacecraft.

---

---
According to new research from a team of scientists based at UCLA, the Moon is much older than previously estimated—up to 140 million years older, to be exact.
After analyzing uranium decay in minerals called zircons, which can be found in Moon rocks brought back from the Apollo 14 mission in 1971, researchers concluded the Moon probably formed about 60 million years after our solar system was born. [verification needed]

---

---
Electric eels are incredible animals. Besides being able to shock animals, it uses radar to locate prey. This 1950s film features a happy scientist and his beloved pet eel, Joe, who happily shocks five people in the office with his superpower.

---
I'm assuming the vast majority of the 600 crimes would be pickpocketing of foreign tourists.

---
This design has probably been empirically arrived at by multiple generations of stonemasons in an earthquake-prone area.

---
This is extraordinarily bad news.
Nevada public health officials are reporting that a woman died in September of a superbug infection. The infection, which had spread throughout her entire system, could fend off 26 different antibiotics. That number represents every antibiotic that might have cured it in the US.
Let's think about this a minute. We have yet to detect any intelligent societies on other planets despite the all most certainty that they exist(ed). Maybe the bacteria was more effective at killing advanced species than they were of fighting it?

<>
My wife got mad at me when I found a band-aid and refused to eat her spaghetti sauce. Her protesting, "It was just one band-aid!


SILLINESS

The economic theory of risk compensation suggests that laws intended to increase safety, such as mandating safety belts in cars, can sometimes have the opposite effect by making people feel safer and therefore encouraging them to engage in riskier behavior. This is also known as the Peltzmann Effect.
This concept inspired the economist Gordon Tullock to come up with the idea that instead of mandating safety belts, it would save far more lives if the government required that large spikes were installed in the center of steering columns, because this would make drivers more acutely aware of the danger of driving too fast. This steering-wheel spike is referred to as the Tullock Spike.

---
Mars Curiosity has just completed its 3rd (Martian) Year on Mars. Congratulations, little guy!

---

---
I wonder how many people didn't notice the funny in the Mars Rover photo above.
---

---

---
---

---
Guy made his own manual chainsaw...

<>
Wife: Well at least I don't bring up things from the past like you did last February.


FIRST GRADE HOMEWORK

When first grader Penn Holderness brought home his math homework recently, his parents had to take a second look at it. That's because the last question was so hard, they couldn't even begin to figure it out. 
First, remember it is first grade level. So don't get to weird. I think she was being taught a very simple problem; to wit - one diagonal adds up to 40, and to make the other add up to 40 you need 14 in the box or J.
Or it could just be a typo.

<>
Whoever coined "You made your bed now lay in it" should not be allowed to invent anymore "threats."

<>


1 comment:

Riley said...

you taught me something today Ralph. Thank you. Good timing too it's my birthday.

Random Post

Random Posts Widget

Blog Archive