About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, January 2, 2017

MONDAY #2933

One Of My Very Own...


EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com




Who else saw this train wreck?

Mariah Carey forgets all the lyrics for her live performance...

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Speaking of train wrecks...



HELL, RAY RICE'S GIRLFRIEND LASTED LONGER IN THAT ELEVATOR.


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And in more sports news...

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It’s HOMOsapiens, not HETEROsapiens. It’s the Bi-ble, not the Straight-ble.

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Believe it or not, this is my kind of humor...


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Customer service stopped recording my calls for training purposes. There's nothing to be learned from that much profanity.

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STREET ART IN INTERACTION WITH THE ENVIRONMENT
This first one only interacts in that the art mimics the shape of the wall...














And my favorite...


And this is interactive in so much as my eyes moisten when I look at it.


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Powerful road safety/anti drink-driving ad from Ireland...


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10 years later if Romeo and Juliet had lived:
Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
Sigh....trying to watch the game here Julie.

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A FEMALE ARTIST RESPONDS THE BEST WAY SHE CAN





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This is supposed to be a Mensa question, but I got it so it can't be that hard.


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Genie: What is your first wish?
Joe: I want to be rich.
Genie: Granted. And what is your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.

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I remember when I found out the french word for seal was phoque and I was like this is the best day of my phoquing life.

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FAMOUS PEOPLE
Steve Buscemi's eyes



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The most Australian man ever, Paul Hogan, meeting the Queen. 1980

Him to Philip - "That's not a wife....this is a wife"



Ready to feel like a failure? Joan of Arc was only 19 when she was burned at the stake.


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*wakes up from surgery
How did it go?
Surgeon: Good, your nose only lit up twice.


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SCIENCY STUFF

I'm still in awe of this...

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Professor said students can only have a single sided cheat sheet. I think we found the math major.

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Horse shoe crabs, unchanged since the Ordovician period, 450 MILLION YEARS AGO!.

Must be a very effective design. But wait, there's more!
These fuckers have ten eyes, or at least, ten visual organs.

So, why should you care? What have Horseshoe Crabs ever done for you?
Actually, a shit ton. Have you had a vaccination of any kind in the last forty years? Have you used an injectable drug developed in the last forty years? Then you owe a Horseshoe Crab some thanks.
Mr Frederick Bang (best scientist name ever, Professor Bang) found this out that their blue blood is so special that it will let researchers know if a vaccine is safe to inject in humans.

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"Kidnapping ransom markets are really tough: it's hard to convey the demand, hard to arrange the payoff, hard to get the kidnapping victim back in one piece -- but Lloyds of London has largely solved this problem by monopolizing the market for kidnapping insurance, then setting standards for the amounts of ransom to be paid and the conditions for payment. Kidnappers know that if they kill their prey, Lloyds will never pay them again."

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In my vast experience with that I think it's the management who pressures the use of computers when none are needed. I was told that I had to have art projects using the computer for every class. I had 30 students and 1 computer, so I asked how I could make that work. They told me I had to figure it out. I asked if anyone had any lesson plans of how to organize and activity involving 30 children with one computer and was accused of having a bad attitude.
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And on a related topic...


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If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say, "Help, they've turned me into a parrot," then you are wasting everybody's time.

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SURPRISE ENDINGS
Forrest Gump stopped running long enough to practice his skateboard and falls down...

And immediate blames the spectators.

This reminds me of ordering a $1000 golf (they spelled it glof which should have been a red flag) and when it came it was a toy.

I got my money back AND got to keep the thing.
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""Hey! Guess what?""

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MAKE A WISH accidentally grants two wishes at same event...

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My problem is that I haven't been able to hear a blinker alarm in thirty years.
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Stupidcide Vest. Of firecrackers.

Words escape me.
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Catching Laptops with your ass is a thing now.

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I'm thinking this is yet another fucking with the new guy prank.


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My wife Googled "Living with Glaucoma" before realizing it was just a fingerprint smudge on her glasses.

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Bless your heart, darling.



Nobody but your momma is ever going to give a shit about your feelings. College is the time in life when you are supposed to learn that.
But now the system is being perverted and I fear for the participation ribbon future.


1 comment:

Ninja Grrrl said...

I refuse to believe my girl Ronda Rousey is down for the count. She can give up for a while, but not forever. I don't believe she has it in her to quit. And I believe that she will surprise us all in a better way next time. Go Ronda, I will ALWAYS be rooting for you!!!

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