About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, January 30, 2017

MONDAY #2962

One Of My Very Own...

EMAIL:

Sound of Silence - Disturbed


LET'S SEE WHAT TWITLER HAS BEEN UP TO

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 "So, you Americans can suck our dicks."

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And yet they can not admit that they are the agents of their own destruction. 
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This reminds me of the anthrax letters and the postal workers stayed on the job and didn't bitch about. Ordinary can, in fact, do extraordinary things.
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So there is hope for sanity...


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The purple eye thing from the other day is fake.

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Got on Skype with my grandson. He called me Big Diddy for the first time. It's a good time to be alive. It's as if my whole life has led up to that very moment.


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Wife and I tried to get a little frisky last night, but nothing was happening. After fifteen minutes she said, "What's wrong, you can't think of anybody either?"


SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY

When I was young we had a TV like this one, and we weren't even the first ones in the neighborhood to get one.
 My brothers and sisters and I bundled up and went to a neighbor's house to see Elvis on the Ed Sullivan Show...the one where they wouldn't show his "gyrating hips."
Back then TVs broke down all the time, and you had to call the TV Repair Man. He was like a member of the family.
Basically what he did was look for the vacuum tube that had turned smokey, like light bulbs used too do years ago. Then he would open up his case and replace the vacuum tube. 
But then were those times he would tsk, tsk, tsk and tell you it was your CRT (picture tube) and you needed a whole new TV.

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It's nice to know the boys were busy...
[verification needed]

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The International Space Station has an actual phone number. True Fact.

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One of the best explainers of science in the business...

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Swimming pool during an earthquake.

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What witchcraft is this?
Is that urine?

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"If water rates continue rising at projected amounts, the number of US households unable to afford water could triple in five years, to nearly 36 percent." [verification needed]

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Why SpaceX Landings are so Impressive
This thing is much bigger than I thought it would be. 

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Wife has finally admitted that whenever I get a couple of drops of urine on the toilet seat, she cleans it off with my towel.



THE HUMAN BODY

You nipple prudes out there need to grow the fuck up. 

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 So why didn't the doctor just teach the woman how to "self medicate?" Or better, how come she couldn't learn the fundamentals after one "treatment?"

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 Hate your job?
At least you are not the pinken the head of a small dildo woman. 

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Don't do this. Please.
I would bet money that this guy is the one GETTING spanked.

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I'm not sure if they are mimicking the original or they are the same girls in the original...but does it really matter?

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If any of you fine folk use one of these...
Please let me know how it worked out for you.

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If a man tells his friends that he can't go somewhere because his wife won't let him, everyone understands. But if a woman tells her friends that she can't go because her husband won't let her, everyone goes nuts.


WORDS AND SUCH

Make sure you read the paragraph.

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Married men will find this much funnier than single guys.

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 I find that very funny.

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How very, very powerful.

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You can get anyone to do anything if you simply add "would you be so kind as to" before your request.


Got some time to kill? Find the wolf.

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I used to be into S&M, bestiality, and necrophilia until I realized I was just beating a dead horse.


 ART

Ran across this guy's work. It was said he does one a day. I like this one...
 But I love this one.
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Girls mature faster than guys because men don't usually develop breasts until their mid-40s.


PEOPLE DOING OR TRYING TO DO EXTRAORDINARY FEATS

How to open a beer with a chopstick. Make sure you watch until the end.
Ouch! Did you notice it poking out the skin on the back side?

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Man Destroys Yellow Jacket Nest With His Bare Hands
 Dayum!

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The best laid plans...

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If you ever wonder if a shirt is too dirty to wear again, just present it to your dog. If it runs away you should probably wash it.

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Camouflaged Wolf
I had to cheat, thinking it was brown.
Third tree from the left.





1 comment:

Matt said...

Trans ppl use to be regarded in high esteem in Muslim nations. Makhannathun. Currently Iran has the highest number of sex change operations of any nation because they believe it cures homosexuality. Islam is.... interesting?

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