About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

SATURDAY #2953

One Of My Very Own...

EMAIL:

My Way by The Chairman of the Board



GENTLE READER, DONALD TRUMP IS THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

THE KING IS DEAD - LONG LIVE THE KING

REACTIONS HAVE BEEN MIXED...


I just wanted it to be windy.

But remember, we did not crown a king nor are we bowing down to a dictator. Our new employee started his temp job.
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Sunday this man will attempt to put his Green Bay Packers in the Super Bowl.
I am very concerned over our chance of victory. 
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Cracked Mud Discovered on Mars!
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TELLING IT AS IT IS


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So if my electronic device will fuck up an airline's instruments, why don't those same instruments ever fuck up my electronic device?


SCIENCE AND HEALTH

The moon passed between NASA’s Deep Space Climate Observatory and the Earth, allowing the satellite to capture this rare image of the moon’s far side in full sunlight. As the moon is tidally locked to the Earth and doesn’t rotate, we only ever see the one face from the Earth. 
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Smoking warning
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I think I remembered that Jonas Salk of polio vaccine fame got 4-5 hours of sleep a night.
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After my posting of something similar a few weeks ago, these people have been coming out of the woodwork...
He says women really like it and I have no reason not to believe him.
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Florida petting zoo
They asked a 100 year old woman what the secret to long life is and she said, "Don't get killed." This is the sort of thing she was talking about.


MILITARY MATTERS

U.S army relaxes rules to allow turbans, hijab and religious beard. 

Yeah, well the British got over that shit a long time ago. 
SAS SOLDIERS IN NORTH AFRICA, 1943.

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Mike Tyson has beaten every opponent he's ever faced...except the letter S.


THINGS THAT WORK WELL

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I like very much that it is a different shape. It seems the US will never learn that a dollar coin MUST be very different from a quarter.
Question: I wonder if that coin works in vending machines.
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I've put this in Work Well section because the drivers are all paying attention and all avoid it spool
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Canada....of course...
I think the spin is caused by the river current being stronger on one side.

Long after I pre-posted that, I came across a plethora of natural and manmade ice circles.

I hope they all have time to load.

Ice discs form on the outer bends in a river where the accelerating water creates a force called 'rotational shear', which breaks off a chunk of ice and twists it around. As the disc rotates, it grinds against surrounding ice, smoothing into a circle.
 

But, of course, you can always make your own.


Speaking of snow, something I find mildly satisfying. 

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Nothing in life can prepare you for how much of marriage is spent listening to someone cough.


THINGS THAT DON'T WORK WELL


This is why guns ought to be heavy.

And it's not just revolvers...
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Although it ended on a positive note, I put it in the Doesn't Work Well section because I don't know anyone who wants a shootout in their place of business. No word on bystanders killed or injured.
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I've often wondered while these machines race in the rain and NASCAR will postpose a race for days at the slightest sprinkle. F1 just puts on rain tires and keep racing.
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Go to Pennsylvania they said, Where They "Know How To Drive In The Snow."

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The guy who discovered boomerangs must have been terrified.


THOSE ZANY SWORD SMITHS OF OLD


Let's zoom in on the portion in question...

His dick is much bigger than his foot. Is that a standard pig-rapist proportion?

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Ever wish more people hated you? Maybe it's time you tried puns.

THE ART OF PROTEST

I'm a huge fan of telling the government how you feel about this or that policy.

It's best if you manage to get arrested.
If you get arrested, for the rest of your life when a future employer or a cop ask you, "Have you ever been arrested?" you can look them right in the eye and say, "Yes. When I was 23 years old I was arrested for protesting American invasion of a much weaker country." And they will ask, "Which one?" And you will reply, "I can't remember." But at least your children will be proud.

But like everything else, there are some do's and don'ts. 
A: If you try to set an armed policeman on fire he will become very angry. In most cases this ends badly for you.
B. Contrary to what you have seen in movies, fire bombs are NOT made by sticking a rag into an open bottle of gasoline. When you rare back to throw it, more often than not you pour it down you back and become set aflame.
C: Fill the bottle with gasoline. Put the lid (cork?) on the bottle. Tie a piece of cloth around the neck of the bottle. Pour a little gasoline on said rag. Light rag. Throw.
Your charred-free ass will thank me.

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Any fruit is a passion fruit if you try hard enough. Just ask my wife.


STREET ART...LITERALLY

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Manhole covers in Tokyo.
If I am not mistaken it took a long time for him to take all those photographs...so long he wore out his shoes. Then in the lowest/left photo he finally bought a new pair. In no particular order you can see the progression of wear.

I wonder how many other people would have noticed that?


With awards season upon us, lots of films "based on a true story" are in contention. It gives films a little emotional boost to say it really happened, but how much of the film is true? David McCandless created a metric to quantify it based on scene-by-scene analysts. So Selma gets a 100%, and The Imitation game gets 41.4%.


This guy is either a film critic...
Or a rodeo clown checking his boots after work.

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"Don't kid yourself" would make a great slogan for a birth control pill.


THINGS PEOPLE DO

Surfers dive into massive wave to escape the crash.
Ohhellno Beach on Takethatshitandshoveit Island.
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[verification needed]
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I remember reading some comments from Christians that say such non-sense as "Well, one billion believers can't all be wrong." 
If that was true then this should be our national sport. Oh, wait. I think it IS our national sport.

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An oldie that I have yet to explain...
"Man, rap battles have gotten weird." 

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"Stoned" should be a Netflix category.

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I so want that to be true.



1 comment:

Ted Opal said...

2 thumbs must be an evolutionary adaptation because of the vast amount of texting. May help get a job and procreate.

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