About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017


One Of My Very Own...

Let's try that again...

I should have added a "record" to the end of the sentence.

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

Forever know as THE catch...

If there was a god, this would be this face...


Scottish newspaper's TV guide previews Trump Inauguration

And now Germany...

Image playing Monopoly and you win fair and square, but your opponent says I really didn't win because she owned more houses and hotels. You would try to explain how the rules of the game work, but she kept insisting that your win was not legitimate.
That is how Democrats play Monopoly.

I was asked, "Who would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?" I said the elevator repair man.


No idea what that's about. I just thought it a cool thing to protest.
You guys may not remember this bitch...

During a war - A MOTHERFUCKING WAR! - she went to the enemy country and played with the very same anti-aircraft guns that were downing our pilots. Why she was not tried and imprisoned for something has always escaped me.


Get it?

Of course you don't. Think: Clam Before the Storm.


I didn't get that. Had to go to comments and found out it concerns Ikea...who's products I have never assembled.

My vaping has helped me cut my smoking down to half.

I will post all these shadow things I come across.

I actually think I've posted that very image before, but I don't really care about seeing a wonderful thing twice.

My wife started something kind of like this.

As you may have gathered that I am very proud of all her alms giving and such. I figure she does enough so I don't have to.

I can remember when I thought this a great idea.

I type like the wind, but one adjustment in the attitude of the keyboard fucks me up. I once lamented that for that reason alone computers couldn't get much smaller. Well, lo and behold young people just learned to type with their thumbs. No way anyone could have foreseen that coming.


A lot of people (my wife) keep asking me why I spend so much time attacking religion. My response is that they started it first.

You can't throw a dead cat in my hometown without hitting one of these jerkoffs yelling and screaming on this or that corner.

I agree with these young people that ridiculing it with humor is the most effective method to counter their diatribes.

But preaching is not their only transgression.

Have you ever heard of blue laws?

Well, when Christians gain power they do everything in their power to piss off the ungodly.
Until recently we were allowed to buy a camera on Sunday, but it was AGAINST THE LAW to buy film. We couldn't buy alcohol at all.
Now they want to teach creationism along side evolution. That's like teaching Flat Earth along side geography.
So it's not so much me attacking them as fending them away from the halls of power, cause we have seen how they fuck things up with they have that power.
Now is as good a time to discuss this as any.

I ran across this recently.

Well, the crowd went wild. I read many of the comments and here is one written by a self-described scientist.


So am I to assume that our mind dictates who or what we are?

What if my mind told me I was a reptile? Would I then BE a reptile?

In researching this topic I ran into this:

I don't know all there is to know about this, but "thinking" you are something does not MAKE you something.
"I'm a male who thinks he's a female who thinks she is a male."
I know transvestites and homosexuals, but a man who thinks he's a woman doesn't make him a woman anymore than all the other absurd examples one could conjure.
And please don't jump on the modern bandwagon of accusing me of being evil for simply disagreeing with you.

I supported gay marriage right out of the gate. I don't hate anyone. I just don't feel like taking advice from confused young people; I will never use ze for she or he; not because I hate the proponents...I hate everybody who tries to force me to do things.


Two guys find an entrance to a gap under a 150 foot deep glacier in Canada.
Estimated they are the first two people ever to have set foot on that particular piece of ground since before the 15 000 year old glacier began.

When you bust a myth but he keeps testing.
Said to be a direct quote:

Would someone please do an image search or whatever and find out what's going on here.

2016 has been pretty bad but at least girls stopped drawing mustaches on their index fingers and holding them under their noses.



During WWII the Nazi's just kind of side stepped the line almost entirely by invading through Belgium which was, ironically, the same route they took in WWI.

Not much of a Plan A, France.

My daughter once told me she wanted to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don't think she'd be a good secret agent.


Note: Please don't tell me that's not a kangaroo, cause I really don't care.

And then there's this...

My money is on the alligator. He's not immobile and helpless as he eats, like the snake.
Or it could be a cold snap below 51 degrees, which renders the snake paralyzed.


These images aren't necessarily funny, or interesting or thought provoking. They are just...odd.
This is the first image I found for this category. It wasn't funny enough or clever enough for a normal post, but by making this grouping it fits right in.

Not one...

But two animals taking a shit.


The blood of the lamb?


That looked just like she was ice skating at 100mph, especially the beginning.

Did you notice her head bob?

This is called "Carbidschieten" (Calcium Carbide shooting), it's a tradition in the more rural provinces of the Netherlands around New Year. The bangs can get to about 110 dB.
Since I'm banned in Russia right now anyway, I guess I'll sneak this in...

There is always a little "go fuck yourself" in every "whatever."


Ninja Grrrl said...

Re your opinion on wht determines gender, I'm curious. Have you had any close friends who were trans, and have you ever known anyone who went through gender reassignment surgery? I personally see it differently than you do: the brain determines a person's truth more than the physical world does, and I believe in honoring their truth. If their truth was that I should die I'd be less accommodating, but really does it hurt me to give someone that much respect? I don't care what kind of plumbing you have or how you cover it unless I'm interested in boning you, and then words work quite well in sorting the situation out. I don't understand why anyone cares who is doing who as long as no one is being hurt.

Anonymous said...

Bravo Ninja Grrrl!
My feelings are the same.

Ninja Grrrl said...

Thank you but I did not intend to imply any judgement against Ralph's position, I'm just curious how much he personally knows about it. I have had several close friends who were trans, and their stories and issues were nothing like each other's. I have only had one close friend who transitioned, and I met her near the end of her journey. I had tremendous respect for the strength, humor and grace she showed throughout the process. My other trans friends and acquaintances have run the gamut, just like any other group of people.

Fardygardy said...

Regarding Sunday blue laws. In Maine, it is illegal to sell cars on Sunday. I asked a dealer about this, and he told me that the car dealers actually prefer it this way. If anyone is allowed to sell cars on Sunday, then they all must, or the closed dealers risk the chance of missing on a sale. This way, they get Sundays off without losing business. The people of Maine like it too - go by a car dealer on any given Sunday and you'll see people walking through the lot looking at cars without being bothered by some persistent salesman. Win-win.

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