About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, February 10, 2017

FRIDAY OPINIONS #2973

One Of My Very Own...

EMAIL:
ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

You Are My Sunshine



Now here's the smile of a man that's had the weight of the world lifted off of him.
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 That's like...
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 Following the banning of topless sunbathers from a beach in Buenos Aires, hundreds of topless women, along with hundreds of fully-clothed supporters, and a bunch of guys who showed their support by wearing bras.


Does this child look like she does a lot of nude sunbathing?

Same here...
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 Respecting Mother Earth, eh? The protestors don't have the good graces to clean up after themselves, and ironically, in Standing Rock's case it could threaten the nearby river they were trying to protect. 
The Standing Rock Sioux Tribe says it estimates the cleanup to cost between $200,00 and $250,000, and they say they to pay the bill with donations. We'll keep you posted on how that goes.
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 It's almost like people have to look real hard to find something to be offended by...
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There are bets being offered as to whether Trump can make it four years without getting impeached. I would put my life savings on the almost certainty that he will be impeached. Only a few Republicans getting pissed off ought to do it.


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If a guy can get cock blocked, can a girl get beaver dammed?


OPINIONS AND ADVICE YOU CAN 
TAKE OR LEAVE

Read the comments!


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 But seriously, how about this?


I don't agree that a wall will fix all the problems between Mexico and the US. At least we can create clean energy for the country doing this.
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This is the way every man I know feels about it.
 I'm am curious as to how much total time my wife has spent looking for her keys. So far I've estimated 3 minutes per X 10 times a day X 365 days a year. 
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Consistency need not apply.


Tolerance is obviously a one way street.
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Could someone explain this to me? I even looked it up, and sure enough, she's a monster.
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That's the way the Germans eat them and I do, in fact, love them that way.
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Everyone is slamming Donald Trump but I didn't see Hillary Clinton help Kevin find the lobby.




SCIENCE

I've had a question about these for a long time.

The British aircraft carriers have an upcurved runway. The US does not. But only one can be the most efficient.
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For nearly 100 years, scientists have dreamed of turning the lightest of all the elements, hydrogen, into a metal. Now, in a stunning act of modern-day alchemy, scientists at Harvard University have finally succeeded in creating a tiny amount of what is the rarest, and possibly most valuable, material on the planet, they reported in the journal Science. For metallic hydrogen could theoretically revolutionize technology, enabling the creation of super-fast computers, high-speed levitating trains and ultra-efficient vehicles and dramatically improving almost anything involving electricity.

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 Jupiter's moon Io.
I am honored to be able to look at such a thing.

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 Doctors in London say they have cured two babies of leukemia in the world’s first attempt to treat cancer with genetically engineered immune cells from a donor. The experiments, which took place at London’s Great Ormond Street Hospital, raise the possibility of off-the-shelf cellular therapy using inexpensive supplies of universal cells that could be dripped into patients' veins on a moment’s notice. 

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Have you ever pretended to be a vegetarian for a year and three months just so you could steal your roommates left overs and they wouldn't suspect you?




WHAT THEY ARE IS CORN NUTS.

My young friend sold his half of his grits company and is now looking in to making corn nuts.
 You have to use special corn, then you double cook them to make a delicious snack.
 He's attracted to corn nuts because he found out only one company in the world makes them.
 I wish him the very, very best.

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Speaking of snacks, Tostitos has a bag that if you blow in it, it will tell you if you too drunk to drive.


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Religions with lobbyists shouldn't be tax-exempt.




LANGUAGE

All things Ralph...


We have a lot in common.

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Just a reminder that snowflakes killed more Nazis than the French army.


 
 BEING HUMAN

 When you give Medusa a wink.

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A man among men.
 "Simo Häyhä was a chill ass dude in peace time. He did his mandatory military year in the 1930s and then promptly  returned to farming. But when the Soviet Union invaded Finland, he decided to give the red army that chin work and become a one-man skull-fucking task force.  Simo figured the best thing to do was grab his rifle, and some canned food and hide out in the forest dropping Russians all day. Mind you, he did this shit in 5-6 feet of snow in a forest where temperatures hit as low as negative 40 degrees. #FrozenBalls This dude used to put snow in his fucking mouth so his exhaled breaths weren't visible in the subzero temperatures. When the Russians found out dozens and dozens of their soldiers were getting fuckin’ slumped by one farmer with a rifle they decided to send out hunter killer teams to track and kill Simo. See the problem is Simo fucking dome-checked the entire first team the Red Army sent after him. Russia then realized they had to step up their game so the second team they sent was a group of well-seasoned counter snipers. Simo killed all of them as well. Over 100 days, this Finnish motherfucker killed 542 men with a fucking farmer’s rifle, then he bodied another 150 dudes with his submachine gun. Sick of getting their asses handed to them, the Russians started to carpet bomb everywhere they thought he could be. He caught a few bits of shrapnel but it didn't do shit ole dude couldn't handle and he laughed it off then went and got sucked off by some bangin ass Finnish beauties in the hospital later that night before returning to kill more Russians. 
He finally did take one to the dome on March 6, 1940, and lost half of his face. But ultimately that shit still didn't phase him. He regained consciousness on the day the war with the Soviets ended."

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 Only one town in Alabama has legalized marijuana.
 That's not true.

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 This is Guy Goma, a computer technician who was trying to get a job at the BBC.  He was mistaken for a music expert and was put in a live news interview....and does his best to answer their questions.

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The EU now has 1 "GB" of free space.

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 Does it frighten anyone else that we simply don't know what we are eating nowadays?
I would think that one of the government's primary jobs is insuring the safety of the food supply.

So it has begun.
 No, Obama started that shit.



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