About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

WEDNESDAY #2971

One Of My Very Own...

EMAIL:



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Robocop seems pretty cocky for a guy that can't even swim.




LET'S JUST START OFF BY INSULTING A COUPLE OF BILLION PEOPLE AT ONE TIME.

This kind of crap is happening all over the world.
And American women march because of "stare rape" and silly jokes? Look around the world and you will see that the American woman is the apex females in the world. 95% of the other women in the world would trade places with you in a heartbeat.
But I'm here to re-address the hoodie mandate Islam has going for it.


But there is humor to be found...
 Playing cards in Saudi Arabia.



And for reasons I can't adequately explain, not even to myself, I found this pee in your pants hilarious...



I ran across this cute come-on for an article related to this very thing...irrational thought, I mean.
Here's a sampling.




ANIMAL NEWS

Daphne Sheldrick has dedicated her life to raising orphaned elephants. 
Once they are old enough, they are taken to protected areas and integrated with other orphan groups. When Daphne visits, the elephants gather around her for a hug.

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In Australia the ground gets so hot that the snakes find alternative modes...


Or so I'm told.

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Come to find out, goats do, in fact, fall to their deaths. This looks like a likely scenario.



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Nile crocodiles, native to Africa, can grow to 16 feet long and are responsible for around 200 deaths each year in sub-Saharan Africa.
 Now they're found in Florida.

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I told my wife I found a truck I wanted to buy. She asked me how many McNuggets the glovebox would hold.


 THE ODDNESS WHICH IS WOMAN

This is a face pillow used during a massage.


Such silliness.
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A "Roast Me" I liked.


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Think about this woman walking around with her feet in that position all day?
 This is how you are supposed to treat a woman's feet.

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Ever say hi to someone and immediately regret it because now you know you have to say hi to them every day forever?




THINGS YOU MIGHT FIND INTERESTING

An Alzheimer’s patient’s signature over the years. Recorded by a doctor in chronological order.


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Flip book of a gif of him flipping through a gif that he printed into a flip book.

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 QF-16 during Unmanned Flight
 Ladies and gentlemen, the future of warfare.

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I had no idea there were so many companies that hired ex-cons.
They believe in second chances.  
You may click to embiggenize.

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I find that I think about the maintenance required for almost everything I discover.

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This drawing was made 700 years ago by a 7-years-old boy named Onfim who lived in Novogrod.
 And 7 year olds draw the same way today.

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Kitchen help at my bar to manager: "I'd be happy to 'screen' that applicant."
Me: I'd be happy to "testify" in the harassment suit.




PHOTOGRAPHY

So, you see a seawall and a broken chair.


I see a poor man who found a discarded chair on the side of the road and took it to a lonely spot along an otherwise busy seawall where he can sit and watch the raging sea in peace.

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Want to guess how this was done?
 Hint: No computer needed.
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 You see two twins posing for a relative.
 I see a pictorial representation of the eternal struggle between work or play.

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The image above was simply this scene reflected on the river.

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You see balanced imagery.
 I see the possibility of two interior spaces, one dark and stale; the other airy and sunlit.

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This doesn't really fit here, but I had no other place to put it.
 This resembles the fat letter graffiti that I'm not fond of, but on closer inspection I find more. Check out the strategically placed red highlights; the almost aircraft like numerals; the careful balance. I like it.


 THINGS YOU MAY OR MAY NOT BE CONCERNED ABOUT

Serious matter treated frivolously... 


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 This is a huge problem, worldwide.
I watched a panel discussion concerning what would cause an apocalypse. After careful analysis of an asteroid strike, a huge volcano in Yellowstone, an effective cyber-attack, and nuclear war, the consensus of the panel was water. Specifically, water wars whereby countries attack to acquire drinkable water.

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Steve always knew his daughter was colorblind, but he never knew he could catch it from her.

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Graduate *dead*: at least I don't have to pay student loans
*Gets e-mail* We see your living status has changed. Click to update your loan info.




INDIVIDUALS WE SHOULD ADMIRE

People who work their whole lives to expand mankind's understanding of the world.


Opalized ammonite fossil.
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70 Hidden Cave Paintings, dated 14,500 years ago. 


AN UNDISCLOSED LOCATION OUTSIDE OF BILBAO, SPAIN- Atxurra cave was first discovered in 1929, but a recent survey uncovered drawings of horses, goats, and bison dating back to the Upper Paleolithic period.

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People who paid the price.



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 Willie Nelson’s guitar after 48 years of use.

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 People with enough talent to remove stigmas.

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Robert De Niro with Martin Scorsese’s mother. She used to cook for cast and crew on the sets of her son’s movies.


She played the mother in the kitchen in Good Fellas.

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Ladies and gentlemen, the coolest woman on the planet...


"I ain't got time for this shit."

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And let's not forget this very motivated young man...

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Our microwave broke. So, we're finding innovative alternatives. Wife found out that the top of the oven heats up! Honest to God.

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When a gif on Folio Olio won't load...


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i think the point is if you are a woman whether it be in America or a Muslim country. Women are being oppressed. Varying degrees but the U.S. still has a good ways to go. Doesn't mean American women shouldn't protest. it means they should.

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