About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, March 3, 2017

FRIDAY #2994

One Of My Very Own...

EMAIL:
ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

Up around the bend


Remember me making a wager that it would not drop to 32 degrees again this winter? Well, tonight may cost me my money.

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I thought we already learned that asking the Internet for names is a bad idea.





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If you're asking "Why should the President submit his tax returns?"...YOU ARE ASKING THE WRONG QUESTION.

"Why hasn't he?" is what we should be asking.


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Uber is great because it gives me an opportunity to talk down to people that have nicer cars than me.


THEY USED TO DO THIS A LOT

Speaking of the past...

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I had a fountain drink at the mall today. All those pennies make the water taste terrible.


 THINGS I LEARNED RECENTLY

 The wall itself was made out of packed earth.
The towers along the Great Wall of China are made of fired clay bricks
What you may not know is that the mortar is made of  sand, limestone and a very special rice paste.
Then there are these pricks.
Just in case you didn't know, the Great Wall is, in fact, a bunch of walls.
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This was caught the other day.
You think that's a mutation or are all of them like that?
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Imagine if a long speech by the pre-dead guy was recorded and put on the record for greater listening pleasure.
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Only % of new car sales, but still impressive. Problem is they don't pay gas tax to fix roads. Also, if it increases the electric grid may not be able to support it.
RH: That's where home-sized wind and/or solar generators come in. You could rather easily take your electric car charging off-grid.
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This bust was printed using a Silicone 3D printer. The hair are all added one by one. Process takes about 2 months and costs around 10K Euros.
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Caption Read: "Most venomous snake in the world (brown) victim to a Redback spider."
[verification needed]
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The immigration good news is that it seems to have leveled off.
 This is the bad news...

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I bet Fred Flintstone wishes he had a Fitbit.


THINGS THAT MADE ME SMILE

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Freaky.
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Aerial Photography 101: Airplane
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If you think this is a stupid idea...
 Check out this shit...
Of course that's fake, but still funny.
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When children became frustrated in my class I would usually take them aside and tell them their parents couldn't master it either at their age, then add something like, we get better every day...remember you used to poop in your pants. 
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The greatest death scene in filmdom.
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That's right, snowflake, you don't have a skill anyone wants to pay you to do.

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White people eradicated entire populations for spices and yet the bay leaf remains a mystery.


 AMAZING THINGS

It's that time of the year again, when the setting sun hits Horsetail Fall in Yosemite National Park to create a gorgeous Firefall.
And it's only visible for about 10 minutes a day.
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Russian Military Helicopter Lands in the Middle of the Road to Get Directions from Trucker.
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Saw a whole photo essay about very inexpensive modifying of shipping crates.
I liked those very much. 
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The city of Medina looks like something from a sci-fi movie.
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String held up solely with stress tension.
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My brother found one of these dead on the road.
 He stopped the car and cut off the rattle and it was longer than my erect penis.
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Yes, that is sewage. Mexican sewage.
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Guy sent his girlfriend a hell of a Valentine.
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Custom made cistern and urinals out of kegs.
But one pull and they all flush. What up with that?
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I know a woman who paid $3000 for a handbag with this pattern on it. It had no pockets or secret compartments. It was more like a book bag.
She didn't purchase a bag, she bought the logos...to show people she can afford it...which she couldn't.

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In Trump's America, undocumented workers get rounded up. Employers who hire undocumented workers get cabinet nominations.


FAKE IS FAKE

Of course we know wrestling is fake...some of us. There is a huge swath of Americans to believe it is not fake. Now we know how a movie is made. The practice over and over...
But then you have what is called "Reality TV," which some people think is unscripted.
  That even though we have seen out takes where they get something wrong and have to do it again.

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Turns out, the guy who invented CPR just liked kissing strangers then punching them in the chest and just stumbled upon a dying person.

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3 comments:

Ninja Grrrl said...

I LOVE the designer trash can!!! That's exactly how I feel about paying more for someone to use my ass for advertising space. I once bought a second hand pair of black Bass Sport tennis shoes with electric blue tongues. I was gonna mark out the whole brand name, but I got the genius notion to just mark out the B. I laughed for THREE WEEKS about having a pair of Ass Sport shoes and insisted that everyone notice them including my young sons friends, I was so impressed with myself. That was 20 years ago, the sneakers are long gone, and I'm still laughing at the memory! That's a lot of laughs for $10. It pays to be easily amused.

Ralph Henry said...

Yeah, I felt the same way about that Alfa Romeo convertible I bought one time.

Ninja Grrrl said...

Did you alter it? I'm old too, I don't remember the story :-)

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