About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, March 2, 2017

THURSDAY #2993

One Of My Very Own...

EMAIL:

Recognize this guy?
Here's a hint:


Barcelona simply kicked ass today.
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I just don't get what's so hard to understand about this. Break the law, bad shit happens.
Write that shit down.
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Latest pictures of that damn.
I looks like bedrock, but I might be wrong.
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My wife doesn't know how lucky she is. For our anniversary I've booked a flight to Rome so she can have the house all to herself.


WORDS THAT AMUSED ME

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It's called.....
The helicopter.
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I heard someone describe Walking Dead as a zombie soap opera.
I tend to agree. It's had its run. Time to go.
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My wife told me she defragmented her hard drive without my help.
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The cashier at Petsmart just told me I smell really good which would be a compliment if my competition wasn't a bunch of dogs and gerbils.


THINGS SORT OF GOING TO SHIT

This guy works in a steel mill...
What do you think that umbrella is made out of.
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Automatic tire chains.
Said to be good on fire trucks and such because they have to go from pavement to snow and back to pavement very quickly.
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Every time I see this I think of that great caption: "It looks like two drunk buddies trying to move a sofa."
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Clemson, SC
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Is this even legal in my state?
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Whoever invented the flesh stapler deserves more money.
Remember, they used those on a twelve inch cut across my ass and I had not one wit of pain...not...one, not even when I sat on it.
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Is this real or some Japanese TV spoof?

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We are all just 5 quarts of blood sloshing around in a big meaty bag turning food into poop and trying to fuck a little.


THINGS I DIDN'T KNOW YESTERDAY

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Here's what it looks like on the ground.
I did a little research and couldn't even find any guesses at to the cause.
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Netherlands put traffic lights on the ground for smartphone users.
I would have the red one flash and maybe a beeping.
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I love seeing dumb-asses get their comeuppance.
That could have been a What Happens Next, with the correct answer: He gets a mirror post up his ass.

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Can someone get Trump a thesaurus. I can't listen to the same 23 words every day.


THINGS TO PONDER

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Unfair redistricting is undermining our democratic process, both at the state and federal levels. This practice is called "gerrymandering." It allows politicians to pick their own voters instead of voters electing their representatives. Former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has had enough, and he thinks every state should learn from California and take map-making power away from the politicians and give it back to the people.
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Fascinating.
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An ant in a drop of water on a flower.
I think he used an eye dropper, but that's none of my business.
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Lesbian workout?
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Anatomically correct Spiderman
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When government says you don't need guns... you need guns.

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6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I feel like your obligation is to support non discriminatiry policies. You don't have to look at me or be my friend. Just support my ability to live. Self image and self determination is incredibly important. Self love too

Ralph Henry said...

I support non discriminatory policies...always have. But I have no obligation to accept that there are 86 genders just because somebody tells me their self image should be taken seriously, just like I have no obligation to call the Pope "Your Holiness". I have never discriminated against anyone. I don't give a fuck what anyone does. But I draw the line when you tell me that you are above mockery. None of us is above mockery.
Now get on with your life. Have fun. Laugh at being made fun of, like the rest of well adjusted humanity.

Anonymous said...

I dont think you can compare mocking the pope and mockign a trans youth. One has power and one has significant oppression being hurled at it. Mocking one makes you a well informed citizen while mocking the other just makes you an asshole that is contributing to an epidemic of trans youth suicide. It genuinely disturbes me that you cant see the difference.

Ninja Grrrl said...

In this world, no one owes you anything once you reach your majority. Your own parents owe you nothing after that, not even love. It is not owed. It is not a natural right. If I want the world to be different, and I do, I believe in being the change I want to see. If you want more support, be more supportive of everyone around you. What you are hungry for, that you must create for others. That's the end of my opinion on how to change the world. Words matter, very much. But lecturing and wagging fingers will get you nothing but annoyance.

Ninja Grrrl said...

I'm going to go further and say that I have never considered Mr. Henry to be a bigot or even a jerk. Sometimes he posts things to yank a few chains and to make people think, and sometimes he posts an occasional picture or sentiment I do not share entirely. But I learn so much from that! I have asked him questions about his ideas sometimes, and presented my own, and I never once felt even the least bit disrespected or demeaned. I have spoken openly here of my past as a crackhead and a heroin junkie, and of other very personal things too, and it didn't change the regard in which I was held at all. I have sympathy for where you're coming from, Anonymous, but I think if you lead with accusations you will usually be met with anger. And when you are met instead with calm understanding and an explanation, and you continue to lead with the whole "what's wrong with you, everyone should see it my way because it's obvious to me" schtick, and you are met with the same reactions over and over, then it is clear that you need to rethink your MO if what you want is to be heard. If what you want is to argue, I would be genuinely curious as to why, what you were getting from it. But I think you want to be understood, to be heard, and to be respected. If this is true, I would suggest a less angry approach.

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Anon, sorry this took so long, but for reasons I can't explain your comment went to my spam folder and I just saw it.
Okay, say you are right in me being allowed to mock the Pope but not trans youth. Are those the only ones I can't mock, or do you have a list? Can I still make fun of Make-a-Wish children? What about starving Africans...are they also off limits.
I await instructions. If you list is too long for comments, please feel free to use my email.

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