About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, March 20, 2017

MONDAY #3011

One Of My Very Own...


Lean On Me


Why don't we just go to one of those countries and ask them how they did it, since it seems too difficult for our government? 



I never knew she was an East German.


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Last of these til next year...
This is a real comment:

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It's a great time to be a Gamecock. On two separate days in a matter of hours our baseball team, our men's basketball team, and our women's basketball team won all their games.
I agog.


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It's better to be full of beer than full of shit.
(I read that on a bathroom wall and can't really argue with it.)


THINGS YOU SHOULD LEARN TODAY
[verification needed]


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For various reasons old manuscripts take forever to translate. It could be a smudge or a ruined letter in the Gutenberg press, or just sloppy handwriting. When this technique was first invented they would use it to help the scholars decipher problem words that the computer could not decipher.

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Fish heart still beating.

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It was stated that this proved the moon landings were not faked.
But, of course, they could have just slowed the film.

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I have found the solution global warming. Convert to Celsius. That way it’s not 104 in the shade; it’s only 40 or some such shit.


SOCIAL ISSUES 

"BLUE WHALE", named for an animal that oft times beach themselves.
This is the agreement at the beginning of the "game."
The founder has now been arrested.
The people who play may have had suicidal tendencies prior to playing. You might want to listen to this: 

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Not too many years ago we thought children having jobs was a good idea.

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Drainage gutters in Japan is so clean they even have koi in them.

Other places not so much...

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Voyager 1 is currently ~12,800 Million miles from the Sun and heading into the heliosheath. It is humanity's first interstellar spacecraft, as far as we know. Voyager 2 is still keeping pace with it's sister craft.
I had never seen the word "heliosheath" before, so "I looked it up. The region in the heliosphere between the termination shock and the heliopause.
The heliosphere is the bubble-like region of space dominated by the Sun, which extends far beyond the orbit of Pluto. Plasma "blown" out from the Sun, known as the solar wind, creates and maintains this bubble against the outside pressure of the interstellar medium, the hydrogen and helium gas that permeates the Milky Way Galaxy."

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Gentle Reader, the stupidest thing I have ever read on the internet.

Think D-Day.

And...
How do you think they explain the complete lack of results from their prayers?

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Lifestyle Guru JP Sears Demonstrates How to Be Offended by Everything:

I found it hilarious.

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Nice image.

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You ever been hitting it from behind while reading her bible verse tattoo on her lower back?


BEWARE THE UNEXPECTED

Paratrooper Accidentally Deploys His Reserve Parachute Inside Plane.
He survived unharmed but landed 30 miles from intended drop zone.

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Drone life is not an easy life.

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That happens to me all the time when I tell the ladies I write a blog.

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Every day is Fat Tuesday if you don't give a shit about your health.


SHIT YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAMN DAY

Buzz "I walked on the fucking moon" Aldrin
I bet "How would you like to suck a dick that been to the moon" is a great pick-up line.

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We're going to need a bigger boat...

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Actual lobster was 4.5 feet long and must have been very ancient.
They live forever until they are killed by something. But I'm thinking once it reaches a certain size it can no long take in the amount of food required to sustain itself.

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Spy vs Spy 
(Orthodox and Unorthodox pedestrians in Jerusalem)

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I've seen enough Final Destination movies to know I ain't never getting in that thing.

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I know most of you have seen this...

But how about this one...
Sometimes the gator wins; sometime the golfer wins.

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Hereford Cathedral Library, England
Anyone want to try and explain the chains?

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Camera shutter speed synced to helicopter`s rotor 

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Wife: Why don't we ever go out anymore?
Me: Do you want to go out tonight?
Wife: Nah.

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I used to ask my mother questions like this all the time...
She would tell me to stop thinking about nonsense. 

Now I think about how ridiculous heaven is.

In heaven, some of the most caring people on earth are supposed to enjoy themselves while everyone they have ever known is boiled in lava ever minute of ever day....and they shouldn't let that bother them.
And don't you just know that when life elsewhere is found, THEY will think they are the center of the universe.


2 comments:

Ninja Grrrl said...

Aren't the chains on the books to prevent stealing? And Lena Dunham represents what I don't like about modern feminism. All I wanted was a chance to use my brain to make money because I knew I was smarter than most of the kids around me, and I wanted more than a marriage to some man who wouldn't care about me in the long run and a bunch of kids, but I was told I wasn't allowed to try so many things due to my gender. That'd the equality I wanted, just not to have to marry someone to be a person and have a full life. I don't believe there's such a thing as stare rape. I know what rape is and what it is not. Being stared at by some creepy dude is scary but it's not rape. Words are supposed to mean something. If I told a Jewish friend that the prices at the store are worse than surviving a holocaust I would understand I was causing offense. And I am offended at people using the word rape to mean something it doesn't fucking mean. I was stitched back together once in the back door area. It means something God damn it. And no man staring at me in a creepy way will ever come close to the horror of any rape. I'll stop now, I'm so pissed I could go on for days.

RBK said...

Will you post more info about your front yard get together? I know that there is a lot of negative things going/opinions floating around on civilian-police interactions, and it is encouraging to see positive items as well.

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