About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, April 30, 2017

SUNDAY #3052

One Of My Very Own...


Estoy Sentado Aqui - Los Lobos cover - Puddles Pity Party



Yes, he actually said that.

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 Current record holder for fattest person in North Korea. He has more chins than a Chinese phone book.

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DRAMA IN MY GAMBLING EXPLOITS
Today I had even numbered horses in a race with 19 horses, but with scratches (horses that were pulled out of the race) I was only left with 3 even numbered horses to my opponents' 9 odd numbered horses. Well, my #2 horse managed to barely beat the second place horse. Then there was a lengthy protest challenge and #2 was deemed to have crowded the second place horse against the rail and was disqualified, thus awarding the win to that other horse....#12...an even numbered horse also.


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 If we ever run out of food, we can survive for 3 or 4 days on the stuff stuck to the walls of our microwave.


 ART AND ARTISTS

 Didn't get the artist's name, but they spend a lot of time blocking doorways with stuff.
And I like their work.

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Built during construction or add on?
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Many new muralists fail for trying to say too much to their viewer. 99% of the viewers are riding in a car or walking by and they just don't have the time to take all of that in.

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If you buy a Harley Davidson and don’t rev the engine at every red light, the bank will repossess it.


THE POWER OF WORDS

The new site I found is full of nihilism.
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I know that some people think that activism is their rent for living on the planet.
Well, of course it is, darlin'.
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Blasphemy.
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See below.

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To tell how far away a storm is, count the seconds between the lightning and the thunder and then look at your weather app. 


SOCIETAL ISSUES

What they seem to ignore is that most of our ancestors came here only after taking mental and physical tests to prove we were worthy.
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My bartender and her husband ate one of these the other night.
 They say it was wonderful - baked first then flash fried at an upscale restaurant. I plan to take my daughters their our next visit.

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Want to know what a badass is? Well, this is a badass.

This on the other hand...

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Several of the staff at my bar have recently got haircuts like this.
 I ask them if they copied it from this guy.

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 In so many disaster travel movies he is the star, so why not.

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I'm in AAAAA, so I get my tires changed by recovering alcoholics.


 
 THE WEIRDER THE BETTERER

Canada?

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There's a joke in here somewhere...

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 “Let me know when those two kids across the street start crying.”

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 Do they serve alcohol at Disney World?

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MOVIE - "Skins"
Listed as genre: "Controversial."
 Never seen a movie quite like this. You find yourself laughing at the absurdity of it all, then feel guilty for it.
This woman had no eyes, but she found a man who loved women with deformities.

This woman was born with her asshole and her mouth reversed.

She ate by shoving a tube up her rear-end.

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What if we pronounced "envelope" like "Penelope"?



SCIENCE AND NATURE

Gold Ring Melted By Electricity
I met an electrician who touched the wrong thing in an attic and woke up an hour later with no visible damage. Later in the day he realized his wrist watch didn't work and took it to a jeweler who discovered all the gears melted together.  

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This should be all our spirit animal.

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Across northern South America, there are hundreds of colossal tunnels large enough for humans to walk through, but they weren’t dug by men. Nor they were formed by any known geological process. But their creators have left evidence all around the walls and ceilings—giant claw marks. Geologists call these tunnels “paleoburrow,” and they are believed to have been dug by an extinct species of giant ground sloth.

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 You can hardly find a person who wants that to be true more than me. But this is not evidence.
 And the only reason they are always described as disk shaped is that that was the way they were in the first sci-fi movies.

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Remember at school when you would press 'demo' on the electric piano and pretend you were really playing it? That's what my adulthood is.


PEOPLE WHO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE

Innovators are praiseworthy.
I actually saw that contraption at a gas station during one of our roadtrips. You could tell the owner had just about had it with all the questions he was always getting.

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Truly, back then at night I bet that would scare the bejesus out of the townfolk.

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Jim Carrey with a Bunny. Even he got old. I didn't recognize him.

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I think those are empty plastic soda bottles. God know what the guy in the back has.

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On average we spend about $80 a year to watch bananas turn brown.

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We know that every people as far back as we can go just made up a legend of how we humans and the world came into being. It's just something we do...demand answers.
They didn't know any better because they only heard their fairy tales and science wasn't invented yet. But you have heard dozens, hundreds of these stories and you know they are just madeup bullshit. Yet some of you stick with the one your mother and father told you because...


Terror Management
"Everything that humanity has ever accomplished beyond basic survival has been motivated by an indestructible and irreducible fear of non-existence. Our conception of self and self-existence generally is simply a buffer against the anxiety that comes with recognizing that we will cease to be. Culture is just a massive shared delusion to mitigate our fear of the unknown and ultimately of death. We take comfort in our values system and the structures that arise from them, whether that's through conception of biological kinship / nationality / political identity / religious faith. etc. This includes the inherent value of ensuring the future of humanity through scientific progress. Indeed much of modern western life is devoted to the avoidance of death, the various euphemisms and stock phrases, the entire funeral home industry that serves to remove death from the ordinary course of life, from the home and onto the embalming table or into the crematorium. We build up the artifice to avoid the brutal reality. In short, everything that we've ever done and will ever do is motivated by our nothing more than our existential terror in facing death."


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