About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, May 5, 2017

FRIDAY #3057

One Of My Very Own...


A LITTLE DREAM OF ME


Venezuela



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STATES BIDDING FOR COMPANIES TO MOVE THERE
My state of South Carolina just made a shocking admission. The back story:
States give giant corporations 10s of millions of dollars to move a factory to their state. These include, free utilities, tax exemptions, using the state tech school to train workers, etc. In return, in theory, the state gets a whole bunch of its citizens employed, plus the satellite companies that relocate to service the factory.
The rub: The question begs to be asked, "Does the state end up making more money than they gave away?" In South Carolina the answer to that question is unknowable because there is no mechanism in place to assess any of it. We just sort of hope we are making money.


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Simon says lower your expectations.


 STREET ART

Here's looking at you, kid...

 I see what you did there.


Dear Future Revolutionaries,
Don't do that. You will end up pouring the gasoline down your back. Fill up, seal the bottle, then just tie the soaked rag around the neck. Same effect only you live through it.

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The universe doesn't love you, it loves other universes.


INTERESTING THINGS YOU PROBABLY KNEW ALREADY

 They have no idea why the whale saves seals.

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Captain Humbert Roque Versace (July 2, 1937 – September 26, 1965)
 He put up such a fight in captivity, Viet Cong executed him out of frustration. He was last heard singing “God Bless America”. He was later awarded the Medal of Honor.

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Here is the caption of this first find:
A priceless gift I received from Novarka, the primary contractor responsible for building the new safe confinement structure at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant in Ukraine. Over 600,000 bolts like these were used in the construction of the new structure.


Then this: The type of bolt is actually a very common aspect of modern construction.
Note lock washer.

Then another article on the same day had this:

Radiation level in Chernobyl is so high right now.
I thought the problem was solved.

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Population over 25 without a high school diploma (by percent) 

Poverty in America is concentrated in counties, regions, urban neighborhoods and reservations. 
See anything telling about those two maps? How is it even possible that in the USA there are people without a high school diploma?

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 St. Helens

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“On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
H.L. Mencken, On Politics 


 THINGS YOU PROBABLY DON'T KNOW

NASA's new "space fabric"
The metal textile is 3D printed in one piece yet can be easily folded and flexed. Eventually, the researchers expect that such materials could be used as deployable shields to protect spacecrafts from meteorites, as insulation, or possibly for new kinds of spacesuits.

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I didn't know it was so well defined.

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Ever seen a donkey in a beekeeping suit?
Me neither.

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New way to "raise" the curtain.

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 The best thing about coming from a big family is being able to talk louder than normal people.


LET'S OBJECTIFY WOMEN

The look on his face says it all.

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 Met a guy who has written a song titled "Phonies" about this...
He and his group is going to make a music video whereby a man on a motorized toilet will travel all around the city. He was unaware of prolonged toilet correlation to hemorrhoids.

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Based near the town of Merced in the Central Valley, which produces over half of the fruit, vegetables and nuts grown in the United States, the Sisters of the Valley grow and harvest their own cannabis plants. The sisterhood stresses that its seven members, despite the moniker, do not belong to any order of the Catholic Church.
"We're against religion, so we're not a religion. We consider ourselves Beguine revivalists, and we reach back to pre-Christian practices," said 58-year-old Sister Kate, who founded the sisterhood in 2014.
The group says its Holy Trinity is the marijuana plant, specifically hemp, a strain of marijuana that has very low levels of Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), the psychoactive compound in the plant.
Members turn the hemp into cannabis-based balms and ointments, which they say have the power to improve health and well-being.

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I need your help in a survey.
Do women lawyers, women doctors and women astronauts, etc spend the same 5 or 6 minutes every time they look for their keys as every woman I've ever met? I mean, are air raids cancelled because one of the women pilots couldn't find the keys to the hangar? Are female surgeons sent home because they can't find the key to their locker?
Judge: Are both side ready to begin trial?
Female attorney: Sorry, your honor, but I can't find the keys to my brief case.
Judge: Again?!

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I find this the perfect clip to illustrate how female fashion trends works...

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 Seeing a woman drinking, smoking, and gambling while in her wedding dress makes me realize I need to up my multi-tasking game.


 THINGS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE TRUE


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A terrible baby shower game idea is called, "Have a man come in and guess which woman at the shower is pregnant."


MISCELLANEOUS

This could have been much, much worse.
 Did you notice the firemen running for their lives?

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This lead in to independent film...
No real locations that would cost any money, they used motels, the desert, a film professor's home, etc. I kind of liked it. I could almost hear the production meetings when they talked about sets and one after another of the ones that would cost money were rejected in favor of a cheaper one. 

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How wonderful.

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And let's all take a minute to thank this guy for surviving in such a spectacularly wonder fashion.

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Maybe if millennials spent less time on brunch and more on particle physics research they could travel to 1974 and afford a house.

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