About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Monday, May 22, 2017

MONDAY #3074






"'Of 28 examiners with the FBI Laboratory’s microscopic hair comparison unit, 26 overstated forensic matches in ways that favored prosecutors in more than 95% of the 268 trials reviewed so far.’ The shameful, horrifying errors were uncovered in a massive, three-year review by the National Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers and the Innocence Project. Following revelations published in recent years, the two groups are helping the government with the country’s largest ever post-conviction review of questioned forensic evidence.

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Diego Arellano is killed by police while protesting the government Tuesday outside of Caracas, Venezuela.


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Women took to the streets of Paris on Friday to protest what they say has become an all-male “no-go zone”, where any female daring to venture out alone is subject to severe sexist harassment or worse.

The district, whose streets are usually lined with large groups of young men of African and Arab origin, is located around La Chapelle metro station on the border of the 10th and 18th arrondissements in the northeast of the French capital.


Still want to let tens of thousands of immigrants from the Middle East into America?

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Man ‘found with 21 severed vaginas’ in his freezer appears in court.



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At my bar we had two pool for the Preakness...one $50 pay out and one $20. Since I put it all together I have the bartender reach in the bag and select my horse. On the $50 pool she chose me #4 the heavy favorite, then did the same with the $20 pool. Well, he jumped out to an immediate lead and I started whispering, Oh, no...Oh, no. And just like 99 out of 100 races, the horse that jumps out to the lead can not hold it to the finish. My Kentucky Derby winner finished 9th out of 10 horses.
Yes, I cursed...and loudly, but really nice people won "my" money...people who really needed the money and that didn't make me feel one fucking bit better.


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CIVILIZATION:
- Grow crops
- Written language
- Hate other sub-groups


NOT SO FUNNY CARTOONS


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Speaking of...

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That is EXACTLY what happened to a fellow teacher who threatened to send a 5th grade girl to the office.

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During sex my wife had a habit of screaming "Spicie Meatball" each time I thrust in. She says she is really embarrassed by it, but I know she won't mind if I share it with you fine folks.


JUST FOR LAUGHS


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How my wife first seduced me.

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Center right.

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In the city of Brno (Czech Republic) the people there hold an Annual Silly Walk across the city center.
Some of those people are much more creative than others.

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Rum, for not just erasing bad memories, but wiping the whole fucking hard drive clean.


THINGS I FOUND INTERESTING TODAY


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Do Not Play With Eels.
I should have put these first two in the current events section.
Get it?

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Field Marshal Erwin Rommel (1891-1944), popularly known to both sides as the Desert Fox (Wüstenfuchs), somewhere in North Africa. (ca. 1942) Rommel is regarded as having been a humane and professional officer.
His Afrikakorps was never accused of war crimes, and captured Allied soldiers were reported to have been treated humanely. In all theaters of his command, he ignored orders to kill captured commandos, Jewish soldiers, and civilians.
RH - Oh, and he tried to assassinate Hitler. But if he had be successful Germany could have won the war.

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Wait for it...
Durability test for a couch commercial? 

He was on the third floor.
Classic case of someone hitting the gas thinking it the brake.

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Scavenging building material was what happened to this...

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I sure wish I knew how to do this.

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Glacial rivers in Iceland.
Reminds me of my cholesterol level.

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I've owned dozens of these...
Notice how he drags his pinkie. A master craftsman.

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I wonder how long it took mankind to figure this out.

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We all know how to fly downward.


FACTS THAT MAY BE TRUE


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Sold some stuff for $1000 yesterday and gave a quarter to charity. Now I have $999.75.


DISAPPOINTMENTS

Modern man has no idea what thick sliced bacon is. I've tried everything and unless you go to a meat market the "thick" sliced is about the thickness of a paperback book cover.

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All laws of physics dictate that I should have seen a nipple.
I'm thinking that top is held in place with double-sided tape.

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I China this happened.
I thought maybe someone was being arrested, but the attendants are responding to a character deflating.

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Does anyone remember these? 
That holds the clothes pins and slides down the line. Nobody does that anymore and that disappoints me.

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I once joked about identifying as an attack helicopter, then got a letter telling me I was assigned to hangar 9 at Fort Benning.

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My favorite bits of the bible:
God had two bears tear apart FORTY TWO kids because they called prophet Elisha a baldy!
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Lot's daughters raping him just to get pregnant is still my favorite reading.

Does that offend you? Well, here's some things that deeply offends me.




And ignoring scientific fact is damning of all.



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