About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

SATURDAY #3065

One Of My Very Own...



New Director of FBI





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Wife and I ate lunch (a chili cheeseburger) at the wonderful place the day before it is to go out of business.

The sign says "SINCE 1912."

Our friends didn't really want to sell, but she owns A LOT of property...all the way to the white building in the distance.

And it is directly across the street from the Gamecock's football stadium.


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I told a guy that I had horse-like reflexes. He said "Don't you mean catlike reflexes?" I kicked him in the balls.


PEOPLE NOT LIKE YOU AND ME 


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I think this ability may be inherited. 
Both myself and my daughter can do it.

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Wife tries to break bad news by asking "Are you sitting down?" I mean, sitting down is literally all I do, bitch.


ART and ALMOST ART




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If I was still teaching painting and received these first two photographs as paintings, I would give them an A.


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Speaks of the heavy workload of students to me.

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I have no way of knowing the sample size or criteria of that poll, but for the sake of argument let's suppose it's accurate.
I'm from the South and I can attest to the fact that every time I tell some stranger that I am an artist, they say that they, too, are artists. I will ask them what kind of stuff they do and am ALWAYS disappointed by their reply. Just because you have a camera, that does not make you a photographer.
I'm thinking a whole bunch of those yankees confuse crafts with Art.
"Yeah, I'm an artist, too."
"What kind of art do you make?"
"Oh, all kinds of things."

There must be something more to it...a feeling or mood.

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We are all capable of giving and receiving great sadness.


FUN WITH LANGUAGE


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"Don't you roll your eyes at me!"

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????

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A fun prank would be to loosen the top on a salt shaker and when your friend tries to put salt on his food, hit him in the face with a stool.


LEARNING MOMENTS

What a wonderful idea.

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The wonder that treasures like this are still for the finding.

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Caterpillar circle, also known as a 'rolling swarm'.
These caterpillars have essentially built a caterpillar-powered conveyor belt. Unlike a typical conveyor belt, this one never runs out, because the caterpillars keep disassembling and re-assembling it. The really surprising thing is that this entire rolling swarm of caterpillars moves faster than any single caterpillar can. Source:


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The Iowa-class battleships were designed during WW2, as the biggest possible warships to pass the Panama canal. At up to 57,500 tons they were the second heaviest battleships ever built.They are 108 ft, the canal 110 ft. Ordinary ships may only pass at up to 106 ft, making the Iowa class the widest ships to pass the canal before the 2016 reconstruction.

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I assume that's the Titanic superimposed on a modern day aircraft carrier.

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Saturn's weird "Flying Saucer" moon

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I find it amazing that before computers engineers would design these on paper with slide rules.

They had to envision every detail of every ramp. And the system mostly works flawlessly.

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You can buy an egg from eBay for £25... 

Now has an emu...(the one on the right).

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I don't think I will bother to go to Vegas. I have spoken to lots of people who have been there and they all say that nothing happened.


COPING WITH LIFE'S SETBACKS


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If you have been drinking and you have to pause to ask yourself if what you are about to do is insane, then it is insane...every time.

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When you and your friends are all at different levels of drunk.

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That impressed the shit out of me.

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How to get banned for life.

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"Look for a thin piece of metal"...in an elevator. Good luck with that.

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Flawless form up to the final leg of the descent.

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Let's take yet another look at this gem...

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I t.hink I. mig.ht hav.e ina.dverte.ntly tak.en one .of my wif.e's bir.th c.ontrol pi.lls beca.use m.y perio.ds a.re irr.egu.lar.

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