About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

SATURDAY #3072



CRIMSON AND CLOVER





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I've had some dizziness problems later, which were concerning what with my history of inner ear ailments. I read it could be related to dehydration, started drinking tons of water and haven't had it since. Just sayin'.

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Just my wife hanging out with some friends. She's the one who organizes fund raisers to buy them protective vests.

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This is just how quick shit happens.
The kid had a rifle. Cop shot him.
Here's some stills.

The officers reflexes to draw his firearm and hit the suspect all while falling down.
Take away: Never bring a club to a gun fight.


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While you guys were wasting your time talking about politics I got banned from the Yahoo Answers 'Gender' section.


ART AND PHOTOGRAPHY 

I like to spot the differences.

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Those were separate seascapes that I abutted.

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But then there's this one...
Looks like two birds looking eye to eye.

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She had many more of these. 
Capitalism at its finest.

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"Roof access," Montreal


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Have you ever quit smoking weed just long enough to remember where you hid your weed?


WHEN THINGS GO SOUTH

This could have gone in the photo section; emotions division.

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This is very easy to forecast...
Stupid bastard.
More gators and crocs...

Fucking with your Uber driver...

This is what life is all about...
Gator looks at his buddy: Dude?
I read that they get along well in the wild with a limb missing.

Oh, heck, let's do gators right...

Okay, these may be really, really big crocs, but the placement of the humans behind them makes me suspect the old foreshortening photo ruse.






I see your gator tooth removal and raise you a lion tooth removal with pliers...

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Moment shark bites porn model during photo shoot.
Just another clip that should be watched with the Benny Hill theme song playing.

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Most people should come with disclaimers like "May cause drowsiness."


THINGS YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAY


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Astronaut Scott Kelly adjusting to gravity after 1 year in space.

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Teamwork at its finest...

And...

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Reticulated pythons self-segregated just after hatching.

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Within minutes they were nestling under the feather dusters.

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What's left of the old Soviet space agency.

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What the world needs now...

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I'm not sure about that.

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My youngest once cried because Tooth Fairy was in the house while she was sleeping and I couldn't argue with her logic regarding intruders.


HAVEN'T POSTED TATTOOS IN A WHILE

Tattoos that turn scars into Works of Art




Question: If you were going to photo your foot and upload that photo to the internet, would you wash the dirt from between your toes? 
Probably.
Example #2:
Dude?

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Can anyone read this?
It's supposed to be cool, but I can't tell.

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The Blue Tooth in your ear tells me you are expecting an important call.
At Walmart.
At 8:00 AM.
On Sunday.
In the snack food aisle.
Sir.


SOME LANGUAGE REQUIRES THOUGHT


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There was a guy in Air Force tech school with us who was married. One day someone said something about eating pussy and he was repulsed by the whole idea of putting his mouth "down there." I found that extremely odd. 

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Speaking of eating...
I would love to see that in a Sunday School coloring book.

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????

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When I'm worried about something, I find that going on a walk is a great way to get outside, breathe, and think of new things to worry about.


BEAUTIFUL WOMEN




I find it interesting that women can make money just by taking their clothes off.
Men not so much. Yet some women are down on it and I don't get it. 
A woman walks up to me and says, "I'll give you $100 to show me your dick." What do you think I would do? Well, I would probably say, "May it 150 and I'll throw in a peek of my asshole." 

But I guess there are limits...

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Here we have a beautiful young woman who will receive moans from most you Americans because of you conditioning.
You have swallowed the propaganda of the companies selling the products to remove that hair so thoroughly that something so natural seems to you repulsive. I believe that sort of thing should be fought with every weapon you have.

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"Don't kid yourself."
—birth control slogan

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GOVERNMENTS AT ALL LEVELS HAVE COMPLETELY LOST TOUCH WITH THEIR CITIZENS


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The citizens should have a right to sue. They paid for a product that was not delivered.


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