About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, May 7, 2017

SUNDAY #3059**

One Of My Very Own...


IT'S A SMALL WORLD


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I would like to meet the person that wrote that.

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Prince Philip at his finest.
Hahahabananahaha!


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Writer: Got this great idea for a movie... “102 Dalmatians.”
Walt Disney: That’s way too many Dalmatians. 


ISSUES WITH SOCIETY
(AKA Miscellaneous)

This dog won't let the child in the ocean.
Do you think he was taught that or was it bred into him? 

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This is not what you think

It is made from holes in the glass.

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If you're happy and you know it.....
(They can't all be gems)

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I get asked to do a full body search for drugs at the airport and I feel a finger go up my butt even though I'm still in line waiting my turn.

And what the human mind can do with that...
Squint.

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The only difference between a rich man and a poor man is that a rich man weeps in a nicer house.

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How long are you supposed to wait before you unpause the tv after your wife tells you she wants a divorce?


SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY

I thought this quite well done. Unfortunately, some of the gifs were too large to load.
But here are the stages, you figure it out.

Moon formation 
~ 4.5 billion years ago.

South Pole - Aitken Basin.
~ 4.3 Billion years ago.

Basin formation/heavy bombardment
~ 4.1 - 3.8 billion years ago. 

Mare Volcanism.
~ 3.8-1.0 billion years ago.

Intermediate cratering.
~ 3.8 - 1.0 billion years ago

Formation of Ray craters
~ 1.0 billion years ago. Today

~ Today


Sorry for that sloppiness of that, but it got screwed up in transit.

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All that drama and the whole arena barely shows up in our on solar system...
That still leaves me in awe.

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Two ways different cultures solve the same problem...

And...

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Speaking of solving problems...
That would have been the perfect place for the zip-tie method I posted a whole back.

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My problem with snoring.
Let's go back to when our ancestors climbing down out of the trees and took to the savanna. There they laid down for a night's sleep with predators roaming, searching for a meal. And let's further suppose there are two such groups of pre-humans - one with a snoring male and one with a non-snoring male. Laying out in the tall grass utterly defenseless, asleep and unaware of any approaching danger and one male literally calls out his location to ever predator within earshot.

My question is, why hasn't evolution culled the snorers in favor of the non-snorers, or why are snores allowed to live?

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Of course morning sex is better.
You haven't spent the day annoying the crap out of each other yet.


NOSTALGIC IMAGES


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You know that runny food on your plate that touches all the other food? That's you, butting into a conversation. You're creamed corn.


PROLEMATIC IMAGRY
(AKA Images someone should write a short story about)


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I know this is probably art, but it would still make an interesting short story.

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This is also probably an art installation...

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This is not my wife...
But back when she used to rock and roll she did this kind of thing all the time.
Because she knew I loved it.

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Jesus: This bread is my body. This wine, it is my blood. And this Cadbury egg is filled with my...
Judas: Ok ok that's enough! I'm out of here.


MY NEW FAVORITE WEBSITE

This is its tagline:

You may have noticed the dark quips I've been posting from time to time.

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No problem.

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Hahahabananahaha!

And in a grand coincidence, on the same day I found this...

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Wearing shirts of bands you don't listen to is like refusing to eat the cupcake, but cool walking around with frosting all over your face.


HUMANS ACTING AS EXPECTED

"The power of the flip flop compels you..."

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The 'not so perfect' heist...
Think about this: Young thugs break into semi trucks and offload the cargo WHILE the trucks are speeding down the highway so often that they have to install cameras on the trailer.

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In this young man's mind, he has reached the pinnacle of fashion.

Oh, I don't think it's race related.

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Whoever decided to spell it Albuquerque instead of Albakirky. You're a fuquing quoqusuquer.

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Everyone thinks that their concerns should be shared by everyone else. Breast cancer patients want pink ribbons everywhere. Vets want special tags and shit. Gender confused people want all of us to alter our pronouns. Women want more money even though they don't work as many hours and work in lower paying jobs.

I make 500 jokes about men, then a woman gets pissed over the one mocking women. The same for black people who are in fact mocked far less than, say, those damned Asians. I try to spread the insults around and in my opinion laying off a group equates to pity, as if any group deserves total immunity from mockery, they have to be pretty damn pitiful.

I'll be straight up with you. I don't have shit owed to me and will never understand why some people think other people need to bend to their whims.



Get your life together. Live it as you will. Love as you wish, but don't expect me to buy in to your scenario. I would never expect you to buy into mine.


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