About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

WEDNESDAY #3076



WILD THING



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Venezuela... Doctor's March
He was shouting, "Why dude? Put down your arms! Come on! You're one of us, you're a Venezuelan too."


"Please, let the world witness this and all injustices made in this land. Two more kids were shot to death today." 

Amazon wish list if you like to donate any of this equipment here: http://a.co/7EAO6bX

In all honesty, I don't give a shit about Venezuela. I do give a shit about people asserting their rights to rule their own country. I wish them the very best. No one deserves to live like they have been living.

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MANCHESTER

A man posted this, his daughter's phone. She was a survivor.

Kids and parents who went to a concert together never to return.




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When my daughter was young she would ask if every man with a beard on TV was me. One night we watched an interesting documentary about me freeing the slaves.


PEOPLE OF INTEREST

WHA.....WHAT?
Could that possibly be from Dr. Phil...lower left?

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He's such a gentleman...
He's carrying her ass for her.

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Said to be all the places that a woman is sensitive to touch.
I feel like there is at least one important region missing.

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Stay healthy, my friend.

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Snoop Dogg sign language lady...

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Sometimes you take a nap.
Sometimes the nap takes you.


OBJECTS OF INTEREST


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Fish caught with very strange "tattoos"
This mysteriously "tattooed" fish was caught near Lopez Jaena in the Misamis Occidental province of the Philippines. Some locals considered the fish a warning from the depths. They're actually right, as the likely non-magical explanation is that the fish was caught in a printed plastic bag floating in the ocean and the pattern transferred to the animal's scales over time.

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The massive redwood lion was carved out of a single giant tree trunk by renowned sculptor Dengding Rui Yao and a team of 20 sculptors in Myanmar, over a period of three years. Once complete, it was transported 5,000 kilometers, arriving in China in December 2015.

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Here are some of the comments concerning the above:
- Any art is graffiti if it's done without the permission of whoever owns the site.
- Most graffiti I see is some little shit tagged his name on a wall. Not happy little light bulbs.
- No thats vandalism. Graffiti is a genre or style. Just because they often happen at the same time doesn't mean its the same thing.
- Also no that's not true at all. Street art is rarely graffiti because in most situations it increases the value of the property.

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Could we just all agree that it ought to be against the law for the people who own car dealerships to make their own commercials?


THE WALKING DECEASED

Parody of Walking Dead, of course.
They had the sheriff, of course.
He found Carl running a strip joint with zombie strippers chained to the poles.

His top attraction was his own mother...

Carl had all the good lines.

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I think we should have a steroid Olympics where there is no drug testing, and no limits on what you can take. You, know, kind of like the German side during WWII.


WORDS AND THOUGHTS


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Believe it or not, that sort of thing is a real challenge on some of My Very Owns. Then I found that all I had to do is reverse the image.

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(I have no idea what that means) 

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Troll Cakes will turn a hater's online comment into a tasty cake and mail it to said hater. Above, one they made of a classic Trump troll.
My favorite is the guy that called me a snowflake. My wife thought that was a hoot.

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The first horse to be ridden...probably.

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You don't run into many time travel gags. 

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Dear ladies, you are a strong, independent woman who doesn't need a man to put the toilet seat down for you! You got this...I know you can do it.


INNOVATORS

It's been a year since we were warned that Intel's Management Engine -- a separate computer within your own computer, intended to verify and supervise the main system -- presented a terrifying, unauditable security risk that could lead to devastating, unstoppable attacks. Guess what happened next? At least that's what some guy on the internet said.

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The August 21 eclipse is being commemorated by the US Postal Service with a new stamp printed with thermochromic ink; when you rub the stamp the image transforms from an image of the 2006 total eclipse as shot from Jalu, Libya, to a photo of the full moon, both taken by Fred Espenak, aka Mr. Eclipse, of Portal, AZ.

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Edible cutlery made mostly of millet.
They hope to soon get it cost competitive to plastic. Bravo.

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Yup, he's buying a ring for his sex doll.
You think he identifies as latexual?
(PS: I coined that term and am quite proud of it.)

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People Who Help Teach Self-Control.
It takes two people to open it. Said to be for cookies.

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And...

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Let's take another look at this magnificent lady...

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The fact that Head and Shoulders doesn't have a body wash called Knees and Toes disappoints me almost as much as I disappointed my parents.


THE BEST LAID PLANS


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When you're glad you went mountain biking instead of hiking.
I watched a longer version of that and it appeared to show the bear take to the woods to head him off around the next bend. He was being hunted. 

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Suicide?

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Get your head in the game, Susan!

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This is the exact same face my wife makes when I finally beg her into having sex...

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Wait for it...
Yeah, I can't do that.

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 Like grandma always said - "Don't kick a fucking gift horse in the teeth." 

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