About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, June 4, 2017

SUNDAY #3087

One Of My Very Own...



“Good blogs aren’t focused on the vapid race for clicks that other forms of social media encourage. Instead, they patiently inform and challenge, using your time with respect.”
Seth Godin

RH - At least we attempt to meet such lofty aims.

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I had a very special visitor yesterday.
I gave him is first cupcake.
Oh, hell yeah.

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This in Alberta, Canada
I didn't even know Canada got tornados. 

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Did you know that all the mosques rejected Manchester attacker's body?

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After months of "smoking guns" and conspiracy theory dismissals, a Singapore-based Deutsche Bank trader (at the center of fraud allegations) finally confirmed (by admitting guilt) what many have suspected - the biggest banks in the world have conspired to rig precious metals markets.

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One Green Helmet volunteer, Paul Moreno, a 24-year-old student in his final year of medical school, was killed in mid-May when he was run over by a vehicle in the western city of Maracaibo while helping the wounded. The death generated sorrow and solidarity with the group and residents changed the name of one of the avenues of Maracaibo to “Paul Moreno Street.”
Here are some of the things they deal with.



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 Traffic fantasy:
- Someone does something stupid
- I give them "the look"
- They learn their lesson
- The roads are safer because of me


SHIT I BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW

In a discussion at my bar I said that if I was a woman I would take being arrested for going topless to the beach while men are allowed all the way to the Supreme Court. Come to find out in my city it is not illegal. But they will arrest you for creating a disturbance or some such shit.
One guy said that seeing hundreds of breasts everyday would lessen their allure. I countered with this: A hundred years ago, Oh may god, did you see that woman's ankle?!
Seriously, do you think this could ever become boring?

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Subway map v actual subway path

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Soviet Woodpecker Over The Horizon Radar
Now abandoned.
Some speculation that the most powerful radar emissions may have caused the disaster at Chernobyl. 

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Putting your best breast forward.
I'm assuming that is a mating display.

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Think your job sucks?

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I heard that Darby is one of the earliest recorded surnames, dating back to the 1100s.

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 I firmly believe in homeopathy because they cure everything with proven, peer reviewed, solid medicine.
- Said no sane person ever


GOOD AND OR BAD IDEAS

Reading comfortably.

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Air conditioned mower.
Why the hell didn't that catch on?

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Speaking of stupidity...who thought this would be a good idea.
A government official tells you that you must dive down to the bottom of a lake and snip the correct wire or else the city would be destroyed. Then the computer spits out a small piece of paper with the number of the wire and you dive in. At the bottom you look at the number you find this:
Is it a six or is it a nine?
Inventing something like that is just stupid.

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Covering up a birthmark that you don't like.
Kind of looks like a hippo butt leech, don't it?

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Ingrown toenails can fuck you up.
I, however, doubt that self extraction is the wisest course. That made me cringe.


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ME: I dreamed about you last night.
BARTENDER: Please just sign your receipt so I can leave, sir.


HUMAN ODDNESS

Everybody is good at something.

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White people.

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Well, I guess that settles it.

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This is not her first rodeo.

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A car crashed into a building. This guy watched the live feed of the news helicopter, so he ran outside after calling his children to tune in.

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I ended up in that weird part of Youtube again...
That gets funnier the longer you look at it. Did you at least notice the old conservative looking guy on the left?


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Me *gets interrupted mid-sentence*
"Oh, hey sorry; finish your story."
Me *employing my usual level of maturity*: No I don't want to now.


ART

I really can't tell if it is a sculpture or a real woman rising from the mud...

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What the hell are the people in the back painting? The back of the crowd?

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My old friend juxtaposition.

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Art with a conscience. 

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If you want to communicate with your viewer, don't do this.
That's just confusing.

This is not much better...

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“Happiness consists in frequent repetition of pleasure” 

― Arthur Schopenhauer

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INTERVIEWER: What can you tell me about the last three years of your life?
ME: Just that I hope they haven't started yet.


SOCIAL CONCERNS


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You see a marvel of technology. 


Also, don't put your dick in that thing no matter how tempting.

I see a dozen people out of work. Remember what I told you; any job that requires the use of your hands will soon be obsolete. 


Are we creating a generation of obese, obsolete kids with no future and no hope? Think about that.



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Yes, there's a website for that.

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I heard an expert say that to solve the problem with football concussions, the helmet should be softer, not harder.

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What wonderful advice.

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Life during Wartime 
As I've stated before, I don't think America could go through something like that again. We simply wouldn't do.

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I wonder a lot, about a lot of things.
That is one of them.


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I don't really WANT to make bad choices; but I got here late and all the good choices were already taken.


THINGS GOING TO SHIT

Invading personal space.
"You can look, but don't touch."

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I think they did that on purpose.


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"Whoa! Hey there, buddy, leave me out of it. This has got nothing to do with me."
- The Horse You Rode In On

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I would have thought we would have moved past that shit years ago.


But old people simply don't like change.


Here is some very important advice.



But that doesn't mean I can make jokes about it.



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