About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

TUESDAY #3089

One Of My Very Own...


Lou Reed - Walk On The Wild Side
"Reed dated a transgender gal in the mid-'70s who went by Rachel (Tommy) -- he called her his "muse" -- he was hardly unsympathetic to the trans community at a time when it was very fashionable to bash them."



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 People who say the book is always better than the movie: have you ever actually read "Debbie Does Dallas?"


THINGS TO THINK ABOUT


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Though animals born with one eye rarely survive into adulthood, so far this young goat is doing better than expected.
Reminds me of my wife's family reunion.

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The average color of each of frame of each of these movies.

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Cloth or foam?

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 Whenever I say bad words like 'diet', I wash my mouth out with donuts.


QUESTION CONCERNING GAYNESS


Do homosexual guys think that assholes are attractive? Do they all do things like bleach them to make them more beautiful? 


Do they shave their butts? Apply make-up?

I don't feel that I can ask my gay friends and I sure as shit don't want it in my browsing history -  the same browsing history that will be sold and traded like baseball cards shortly. So I ask you nice people...creatures of the internet.
Are there special skin care products for butts and/or assholes?

Does feces cause any problems?


And finally, did a gay guy invent this?
Forget about how I feel about the new fashion craze, I'm not totally undressing to take a shit, but who saw fit to put the black model in a pimp coat?


Technically those are just these with short pants.




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I don't know why Squirrels are hiding their acorns when literally no one else even wants them.


THE THINGS WE MAKE


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Picnic table with mini shelter.

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Drones that avoid contact.
I wonder if the red T on his shirt has anything to do with it.

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1864, Samurai photographed in front of Egypt's Sphinx.

Haid Al-Jazil, a village in Yemen built on a boulder.

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Is indeed beautiful, but is it art? I think not.
In graduate school we called those "formula paintings", because if you do the same A,B,C steps you get the same results.

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We discovered math and used it to travel to space.
I think it would be a hoot if just once when they got back the ground crew would all dress like apes.

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Not only can we predict the weather...
Mexico's favorite weather girl.
We can predict events far into the future.

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10 year time lapse of stars orbiting the black hole at the center of our galaxy.

I know I've shown you that before, but it's like the Mona Lisa; sometimes you need to be reminded of its elegance. 


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Maybe very famous people could step up now and rebuff the anti-vaccine shitheads. I mean that. Hell, our own government isn't even running PSAs on the most vital topic.

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I have driven this exact stretch of road. The historic U.S. Route 50, known as America's lonely road. As I recall I just stopped in the road and peed right on the lane marking.
I keep bringing things like that up because our roadtrips were peak experiences in my life. I absolutely loved them and I had the best traveling companion a man could have.

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Children learning the laws of physics can be funny.

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We humans domesticated animals and call them our friends.
That animal has violated Rule #1 of it's prime directive and had it been mine would be exiled to never return to the interior of the house; bounced off the back fence with such force that it forgets how to lick his own balls.

This much superior pet seems to have the right idea.
Classic tit for tat, goose/gander scenario.

And remember what I've said before, a cat is just an animal that shits in you...YOUR house.


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Hermione: For once I want the teacher to get my name right! 
Gar4y With a Silent 4: Totally know what ya mean.


PEOPLE CAN BE PRETTY DAMN AWESOME

I really appreciate funny people.

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Surgeon Aznaur of Karachay-Cherkessia devised an unusual way to offer his beloved his heart. The man himself made an incision on the abdomen and hid in his golden wedding ring. Aznaur then went to his girlfriend, a physician who works at the same hospital. He said that he accidentally fell on the glass, and asked her to remove it. She found the ring and accepted in tears. Afterwards she successfully completed the medical procedure and closed the wound.
My thoughts on this: It's good she wasn't a proctologist.

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Some houses have a strange history that makes them hard to sell- especially if the realtor is honest about the strangeness in their listing. This house in Cayce, South Carolina is being sold for a mere $155k, but it comes with one really odd catch.
The buyer can't ask about the person in the attic. The original Zillow listing was edited because of the unwanted attention it received online, but here's how it originally read: Please read carefully before scheduling showings. May not qualify for financing. Great "diamond in the rough" investment property or primary home needing separate apartments. Little is known about condition except that property has active roof leaks. Property is being sold "as-is" with no repairs, no clean-up, and no warranties expressed or implied. Upstairs apartment cannot be shown under any circumstances. Buyer assumes responsibility for the month-to-month tenancy in the upstairs apartment. Occupant has never paid, and no security deposit is being held, but there is a lease in place. (Yes, it does not make sense, please don't bother asking.)
Later: The tenant is an eccentric artist and probably needs all the help he can get. But his art is pretty damn impressive.

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I try very hard to be there for my young friends.

But I'm not breastfeeding any of them no matter how much they beg.


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Her dying wish was to see a Marine in his dress blues one more time.
Her name is Evelyn Moore, known as Sgt. Mom. She served from 1950-1955.

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This young woman is awesome because at least she's trying.
And I bet, with proper encouragement, she will try again and again.


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Want guests to leave early? Don't give them your WiFi password. 
You're welcome.


PEOPLE CAN  ALSO BE PRETTY GODDAMN AWFUL

Yeah, we all expect older siblings to be awful to younger siblings...

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Smoking breaks at work should be deducted from annual leave. We all have addictions, but you don't see me running out for fried chicken six times a day.

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Open a gym in the ghetto, it will teach them how to behave they said.

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Said to be Al Capone's prison cell.
Nailed the bastard with tax evasion.

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This actually affected me very much. Those kids are going to need massive therapy.
I'm assuming she broke a nail and took it out on the fucking toy. Bitch.


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Don't mix your medication with alcohol she said and we laughed and laughed and laughed & then took turns operating operating heavy machinery.

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I know kings and queens and such don't really matter, but it's my blog and I can vent if I want to. 
The notion that one group of incestuous bastards are better than the other people because of tradition is so alien to my thinking that I can't fathom other people revering those privileged few. You know they cheat on their spouses just like the unwashed masses. You know they lie and cheat with abandon. I wish someone could explain to me the allure of declaring one family deserving of very special treatment...paid for by the struggling masses. 



3 comments:

Matt said...

the male asshole is just like a pussy. it craves attention. and it feels really really good when it gets that attention. my perspective on sexual arousal.... as a gay person (bottom, submissive, "female role"). when I see a hot guy or am crushing or whatever, my dick is not the first sensation that I feel. It all starts in my stomach and ass. I thought I was transgender for the longest time because of it. Assholes are wonderful and super sensitive. You should totally get your wife to eat you out. I don't see how anyone could not like the way it feels. isn't that the point? to drive your man crazy? don't be afraid of assholes. its not just a gay thing. All you heterosexuals need to be doing asshole things. It is a pleasure that you are missing out on because of what?? scared to be called gay? think your girlfriend will think badly of you?? if she does get a new girlfriend. and goddamnit man up and reject all this toxic bullshit telling you what you can and cant be as a heterosexual male. end rant. im drunk and this blog fucks me up emotionally. I just wrote a paragraph about assholes...

Ralph Henry said...

Thank you, Matt, that was highly informative.

Fardygardy said...

re: the smoking area outside work...
I once took over a factory which has very nice "bus-stop type" smoking areas around the outside of the factory. On driving around, I discovered there were always about 10 people (total) in the smoking booths. almost always. I came to the conclusion that the mill effectively paid 10 full-time people to smoke. what a waste of money. we prohibited it, and the smokers took up chewing Nicorette gum.

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