About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

TUESDAY #3123

One Of My Very Own...




Mosul has been liberated.

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Aftermath in Hamburg: Good people being good by cleaning up the city.

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Happy birthday you magnificent bastard!



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Daily reminder that everyone around you is going through some type of struggle and you should find out what it is and use it against them.


THINGS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE TRUE


And this is the zigzag...
Please let that be true. Please let that be true.

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Damn, I hope that's true.


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What idiot called it incest instead of pumpkin?


CAN YOU SPOT THE ODDNESS?

This one is so good I'm going to give you a minute to guess what's going to happen next.
You got your goldfish, you grey fish and a turtle...and a piece of white food. You better dig deep for this one.

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Say what you will about such unbridled enthusiasm, but what is it you don't see?
Very, very few cell phones in crowd.

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Oh, my.
Forget diamonds, Honey, the Advertising Goddess has changed your best friend to the Squat Magic.

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I have never seen a boat shaped like that. Have I missed something? You guess the whole thing is one huge rubber bumper?

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I did NOT see this coming....

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Look carefully...
The thrown water looks like an elephant.

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What's up with the new Navy camo? Are they supposed to hide behind the water?

"Like, a bunch of people thought up this uniform design.  Ran it through committees.  Tested out the uniforms.  And then spent a fuckton of tax payer money buying them for our naval forces.  And, as near as I can tell, they make no sense.  Like, what the fuck is the point of having a uniform that allows sailors to be hard to spot in the water?  If a sailor ends up in the water, I am pretty sure that we want to be able to spot them.  Like... If it were me, I'd have had em all dress up in day-glo fucking orange."  

And if it's to avoid being shot from another ship (like pirates) then why not make them the same color as the boat?


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Subtle, that.

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What do these pairs of photographs have in common?
Bad to good teeth.


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I wish everything in life was as easy as my high school girlfriend after two beers.


WORDS PLACED IN SUCH A WAY...


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Because their only possession is a grass mat to sleep on, you twat.

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How clever.

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My wife is thinking about running for mayor just so they will dig up some dirt on her. She'd like to piece together the 70s that are but hazy.


I'M IMPRESSED

The Hubble Ultra Deep Field - Arguably The Most Important Image Ever Taken by Mankind.
It would get my vote. I must have posted it a dozen times...I am in that kind of awe.

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I wrote many moons ago about my friend who steamed a piece of wood with PVC piping. Now I have found pictures of the set up.

He's got some super-duper steamer but a tea kettle will do the same thing. You just put the wood in the pipe, put the cap back on and steam it for hours.
When you take it out, it will be pliable enough to bend around corners and when dries, it will stay that new shape. My buddy had a jig made of pegs on a sheet of plywood and could make identical pieces of curved wood.
If you are wondering why you would need such a thing, behold the power of steam.

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This watch shows where all the planets are currently.
I have questions. Let's take Saturn. Is it behind my back or on the other side of the Earth?

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Female Human Foot: Adorned
All hail the female foot!

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Two perfect boneless, skinless fillets. Wow.

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If I'm not mistaken, that thing in the hole thumps it's enemy with amazing force...enough force to knock his goddamn arm clean off...
Did you notice the damage to the end of the claw as it is being dragged into the hole?


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With the rise of self driving vehicles, there will soon be a country song about how your truck left you too.


LESS THAN EXEMPLARY BEHAVIOR

As I understand it, the guy moved the Road Closed  sign and barrier.
In South Carolina they are working on a law that if you ignore warnings, move barriers, etc, then you will pay all costs of your rescue. I applaud it.

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Cannikin detonated on November 6, 1971 at Amchitka island, Alaska.It was 5 megatons and the largest underground nuclear test in US history.
Or so I'm told.

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When you're next on Death's list, but you got other things to do.
My guess is that he was driving too fast for road conditions.

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Take that, round earthers!
You see what they did there? They gave sanity a name..."Round Earther," as if it is a illness. They did the same thing with Atheists. Why do I need to be named for noting the evidence? There are golfers, but the rest of us are not Non-Golfers.

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My wife's method for dealing with the mosquito's this summer.
That is actually true and actually drives me nuts.

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The best explanation of why anyone would gamble with such dangerous stuff was this: "Unemployment leads to depression. Depression leads to drugs."
Now I'm not the smartest person in the world, but it seems to me that employment is the key here. Furthermore, the person who gave me that quote STILL lives in West Virginia even though ALL the coal mines have closed.

The Amphetamine Shuffle
I think everyone should film themselves after taking drugs, then have to watch it the next morning. Can you imagine either one of those guys saying, "I want to look like that again!"
And drunks aren't any better.
Did you notice she spit all the salt in the glass, then drank it?

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I've often been chastised for not using Snopes enough. I used to go to Snopes all the time to check things people sent me, but it doesn't work like that anymore. The last 100 times I went there the posting was too new for Snopes to have investigated. It just wasn't worth my time.
Sometimes I Google things, but then I just keep pulling up the sites that are trying to trick me.
For what it's worth I did look up the Zigzag sex position.

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This is why weight deferential matters.
That first girl should be thankful she wasn't dropped on the top of her head.
And please notice that it is 3 on one.


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I was watching a movie about Stockholm Syndrome and the beginning was awful...but by the end I loved it.

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I have never understood Liberals' love affair with Muslims. Every indication should led them being sworn enemies.
Anybody want to help me out with that?




2 comments:

Andy said...

I am in the navy and i can tell you that the color of the uniform makes little difference. I have seen man overboard drills using a bright orange dummy with a flashing light. In slightly rough seas it dissapeared too. But a green camoflage uniform does make sence for the Seabees.

Jambe said...

Regarding the tug: no, the stern of the vessel is not rubber, but steel. You can see the aft fender (the thick rubber strip) just above the waterline. Here's a larger photo. It's a neat boat. Here she is coupled with the liquefied ammonia barge she was designed to move around. I don't know if she's still used with that barge or not (I suspect she is), but the barge actually got more press coverage than the tug because it was apparently the first liquefied gas barge built in the US in over three decades.

Also, you can track registered vessels in all mainland waters with several services. This link to MarineTraffic will show you wherever the Abundance is now; at the time of posting she was moored facing upriver just south of the confluence of the Columbia and Willamette rivers in North Portland, OR.

Regarding the critter wot blasted the crab's claw off: you're right. The crustacean in question is a mantis shrimp of some flavor. They also have fascinatingly-complex eyes & vision (see the Eyes subsection of the above link).

Also, JP Sears is fun (the mock-hippie redhead flat-earther in your gif). He has a book out titled How to Be Ultra Spiritual: 12 1/2 Steps to Spiritual Superiority.

wrt leftists/liberals and Islam: their defensiveness of Muslims has something to do with hicks and red-blooded Murrikans who utter phrases like "towel-head" and "sand-nigger". Liberalism is supposedly about tolerance and acceptance and, in North America at least, Muslims are small minorities who often get shit on simply because they stand out.

fwiw, I think a lot of them have become delusionally defensive of Islam as a set of ideas and conflate criticism of the religion with prejudice against Arabs or Asians or "brown people" generally. For that reason (and because of their rising authoritarianism and their hysterical reaction to Trump) I no longer consider myself a leftist or a liberal. I'm a progressive democratic socialist but the American left is not for me.

When self-styled liberal feminists argue with a straight face that veils and headscarves are "symbols of female empowerment" then we've reached some kind of oxymoronic apogee. They're just as indicative of women's liberation as Mennonite or Amish bonnets are. At least Anabaptist women can leave their communities and integrate with the surrounding secular culture. What hope have women in conservative areas of West Asia and Africa?

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