About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Friday, August 11, 2017

FRIDAY #3153

One Of My Very Own...



MAYBELINE


If you don't know why this is funny, ask your teenage son.

I am completely lost in the plot to GoT, but I watch it for the costumes, camera work, scenery and now, special effects.

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Is there anything I won't joke about?
No.

I can just imagine people all over the country storming used furniture stores looking for one of these.

By the way, I found the above OOMVO on Google. It has hundreds of the very best and here's how you can find them.
https://www.google.com/search?q=one+of+my+very+own+folio+olio&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwitgJ_t2c3VAhWIRyYKHTV_A-UQ_AUICygC&biw=1564&bih=874#imgrc=ZpuWCAYwuVVO9M:

Or just type 'one of my very own folio olio' in the window. That will take you to the images. You use click on one and then use the right arrow to see one after another.

Serious question: Will I be able to see the coming eclipse through various level mushroom clouds?


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Due to a huge misunderstanding about adulthood, I will be hiding in my crawl space until further notice.

PERSONS

This patient sustained third degree burns on the dorsum of his left hand, which was treated with a pedicled flap—a soft tissue cover with direct blood flow.
Growing up, a friend's father got an infection on his elbow and doctors simply laid down a flap of skin from his stomach, placed his elbow inside the attached flap and sewed it together. I remember that because he let us smell and it was gross.

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Femur of a 10-year-old boy with cancer. It was removed, treated with liquid nitrogen to kill remaining tumor cells, and then re-implanted.

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It has become almost impossible to know what images are unmanipulated.

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After my wife borrowed my laptop and I forgot to clear my browser history.

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Macaulay Culkin...a real Benjamin Button?

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Like we needed the red circle to spot the oddity.

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Your arms should not lift your hands, your fingers should lift your arms.

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Fuck that bastard.

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I don't think you can rehabilitate pedophiles or people who board planes late then move other people's shit around in the overhead compartment.


PLACES

Option One above.

Why you should not rob a store: Reason 3786

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I'm assuming that officers were the only ones to give a shit if a picture was askew.

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Fly over of dwarf planet Ceres (largest object between Mars and Jupiter)

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I would be in hog heaven here...
Oh the holy moly's I could find. I can see several in that picture.
THAT is where I should have retired.

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Recently the Market Theater Gum Wall got a full scrub down. 

Locals and tourists have been sticking gum on these alley walls since 1993. It took city workers 130 hours to complete, with over 2,350 pounds of gum removed. Gum immediately began to be re-added to the wall...as anyone with a brain could have predicted.

Do you think there was a real hygiene problem as they claimed?
It certainly was very popular...

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For your viewing pleasure...
The heartbeat of the seasons.

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I love when a baby makes eye contact with me and smiles, recognizing a fellow baby.


THINGS


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Today's PSA reminder...
The only way to stop this is to speed up. I know it sounds counter-intuitive, but it's true.

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Shoe Cover Machine
Cause we Americans don't like to bend over.

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I can certainly see a military application for these.

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The struggle is real...
I'm not a very sappy guy, but that's cute as shit. I love the way he pauses for a little sigh once righted.

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Is that the silliest shit I have ever heard.

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If you've never had a soft shell crab sandwich, come on down here, I'll buy you one.

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Laser snake-arm robot for remote cutting in a nuclear environment. It is actually amazing.
The gif was too large to load, but it is well worth a look.

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Bought a pair of shoes that are too tight. Wife's solution is genius. I'll let you know if it works.
I'm thinking we need to soak them in hot water.
Anybody?
PS: They are still too small. Shit.

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The smoke from the Detwiler fire in California looks like an old man and his dog.
You can't imagine how good I am at spotting things like that.

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My guess is the second coming of Jesus already happened and he was either shot by police or died poor from a preventable disease.


PONDERABLES

How religious are you? Just answer these questions.

Religious people tended to give the intuitive answers to the questions, and non-religious people gave the analytic answers. 


1. 5 cents
2. 5 minutes
3. 47th day
Not to brag, but I aced it.

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I built several pottery kilns and the strongest shape is a parabola.

But we just cut a piece of playwood into a piece 4'x4'. Then nailed a nail as close to the corner as we could get. Then we looped the end link of a chain on one nail and kept adjusting the hanging chain until it both touched the very bottom of the square and could be looped over the second nail.
The blue shape above is exactly 5x5.
After tracing the chain we would cut it out with a saw, then use that piece to mark the second piece of plywood. Then we would attach 1x3" boards between the two identical pieces of plywood...these people used 1/4' plywood.
Sort of like this: 

Then you cover the form with fire brick.
Last step - dismantle the form.

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Well?

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Pattern created by the orbits of Earth and Venus, each line represents one Earth day. 
Mesmerizing.

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The inaccuracy of this used to bug the heck out of me. Now not so much.
You can't really measure the sides of a square...I guess. I mean even if you got down to the microns the side still has an 'if factor'.

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The proper way to send dick pics.

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"He was a man who made important decisions and never poured his own tea."
- from a book I'm listening to

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I'll never forget how scared I was the time my mom's sister fell into the aardvark cage at the zoo.

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Not to brag, but I thought I did a very good job on today's post. I really hope you enjoyed it.


3 comments:

Andrew said...

You do a good job on everyday's post Ralph! Cheers!

-Gentle Reader

Anonymous said...

Not to inflate your ego, but I particularly enjoyed the school desk and aardvark bits so much that I shared them with friends :) Thank you!

Ralph Henry said...

Andrew, the Gentle Reader sign off was a wonderful gesture. Stay safe, my friend.

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