About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

THURSDAY #3152

One Of My Very Own...



DOWN ON THE CORNER
I may have offered that just a couple of days ago, but at this point I just can't remember.
Any of you guys got any suggestions, just drop me a line or comment.


 A new Department of Defense Inspector General’s report, released last week, has left Americans stunned at the jaw-dropping lack of accountability and oversight. The glaring report revealed the Pentagon couldn’t account for $6.5 trillion dollars worth of Army general fund transactions and data, according to a report by the Fiscal Times.
The Pentagon, which has been notoriously lax in its accounting practices, has never completed an audit, would reveal how the agency has specifically spent the trillions of dollars allocated for wars, equipment, personnel, housing, healthcare and procurements allotted to them by Congress.
Beginning in 1996 all federal agencies were mandated by law to conduct regular financial audits. However, the Pentagon has NEVER complied with that federal law. In 20 years, it has never accounted for the trillions of dollars in taxpayer funds it has spent, in part because “fudging” the numbers has become standard operating procedure at the Department of Defense.

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Have we collectively lost our minds. Who are this prick's parents?
Man with machete arrested on street in my hometown yesterday. Said he was out looking for someone to hack to death. 

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This always fascinates me.

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I'm old enough to remember the Cuban Missile Crisis. Every person in America hoped and/or prayed that our new president wouldn't do something stupid. Now we know that our present new president does stupid things on a regular basis. And that is scary.

This is a pretty damn good short article about the armed forces of North Korea. I recommend it.
https://imgur.com/t/north_korea/2YIzO



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You ever been so drunk you said thanked a garbage can for taking your trash?


PEOPLE

These women got stranded on a river overnight while on a tubing trip because they thought rivers go in circles.
So, none of them have ever seen a map? Or a movie? Or read a fucking book?

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I think a huge problem with this country is that many people find no stigma in jail time, but rather it is merely a rite of passage.

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And then the flash went off...

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This man is my hero.

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The most fucked up thing you are liable to read all week.

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Holy fucking shit Snoop!
Shopped.

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And they wonder why the subcontinent is eat up with diseases....

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Some practical jokes are innocent enough...

And some are just downright cruel.

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"I can still fit in the same shorts I wore in high school."


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I mean, if it can't stand a little pollution, was it really THAT Great of a Barrier Reef?


PLACES

Remember a few days ago I asked how the guy on the ice learned he could cross that little gap of water. Well, maybe he saw this video.

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Whack-a-shark
Question: If that was in front of your oceanside cottage where you children swam, would you A) Kill the shark, or B) Forbid your children to enter the water?

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Very unusual triple play.

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Model of WWI trenches. As I understand it, they are offset like that to keep the killing zone small; one team with a machine gun can't mow down the whole trench.

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Space Shuttle Cockpit 
Do you think the pilot knew what every switch was for? You bet your sweet ass he/she does.

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This might come in handy some day.

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"At the corner of the extravagant 19th century mansion, Palais Equitable, in the city of Vienna, Austria, is a glass case behind which is the midsection of an ancient tree. Its trunk is studded with hundreds of nails pounded over the centuries for good luck."

"Back in medieval Europe, hammering iron nails into living trees, wooden crosses and even rocks was a common practice, just as throwing coins into wishing wells or fountains is today. Sometimes, sick people would rub a nail on the afflicted part of their body and then hammer it into a tree hoping that the healthy wood would absorb their pain. The custom disappeared sometime around the late 19th centuries, and so did many of these so-called “nail trees”. The nail tree in Vienna is the oldest one still preserved."

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"A 24-year-old overpass bridge in Nanchang, was dismantled on Friday by 116 excavators to make way for the city's subway line."
I will admit that when that clip of the aerial view first started I had no idea what I was looking at. 


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I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don't know whose side I'm on.


THINGS

Think of us humans.

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I have no idea what is going on here, but to me it looks like the guy planted one tree every year on the same day as hinted at by the size. Ignore the bullshit on the right.
But who plants trees in the snow?

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I had a friend in grad school who made art like this...meaning he used gravity, various tensions and off setting tensions.
Once he had a huge real hunting bow pulled back to maximum WITH an arrow and everyone, including me, asked him if he was afraid someone would trip it to make it fire. He said that the way it was configured the arrow would simply drop straight down to the floor. But it certainly looked lethal.

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Bless your heart.

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When you fail at life and become a criminal. But then you suck at that too.

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I see what you did there, flower boy.

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Doing it wrong: balanced, have to hold up, can't hold any more brushes.

Done right: thumb through hole, braced against upper arm, can hold brushes.
But then this guy is using a water color brush with no water.

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Flying fish can glide a distance of 655 feet! They swim up to 34 miles per hour.
Magnificent survival adaptation.

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Passing 30,000 volts through two beakers creates a stable water bridge, because science.

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🎶Squirrels just want to have fun.🎶

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Flexible screens can turn phones into a tablet.


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The clicking and popping sounds my body makes in the morning could communicate with dolphins.


IDEAS


So if you believe in a round planet, then you must admit the bible was mistaken. How very, very interesting.
I don't know what the above maps are suppose to point out, but I sure they thought it conclusive proof.

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I also enjoy making others laugh. I spend a great deal of energy doing just that.

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I try very hard to live by that rule. Never lie. If I'm asked my advice I can only point out the pitfalls and then tell them what I would do under similar circumstances.

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Did you read that long enough to get it?

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All my favorite things in one image.


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Tiger Woods says he will not compete with Donald Trump for most rounds of golf played in 2017: "I've got other stuff I need to do."


BAD SANTA 2

Billy Bob Thornton, Kathy Bates, Tony Cox - the little person.

This after Kathy called Tony a midget...

This when Thornton accused her of being the worst mom in the world...

And this for a friend...

The movie sucked, but the dialogue was hilarious.

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Two more movies I could tolerate:
The Battered Bastards of Baseball
and Railroad Tigers, the only Jackie Chan movie I feel is worth watching.


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"I'm always shocked that only 7 people a year get killed on this ride." 
- me, at the amusement park, trying to shorten the lines.


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