One Of My Very Own...
Going To Carolina - James Taylor
NEWSY BITS
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I still can't figure out how the two ends are connected in such a way it wouldn't let water in.
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I'll fly away, oh Lordy, I'll fly away.
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Florida Man at his best.
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Does anybody think this will work?
I mean, don't you think a wind strong enough to lift a roof could easily rip the tie-downs out of the ground?
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Liquor Store Assistance: Hey, do you need help?
Me: Yes, but I decided to come here instead.
UNFORTUNATE LANGUAGE USAGE
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A dear old friend sent me this...
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Luck be in the air tonight.
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I've never been less surprised by anything.
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I like how "as fuck" is a common unit of measurement down here in the South.
THE LEARNING NOOK
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/babylonians-trigonometry-develop-more-advanced-modern-mathematics-3700-years-ago-ancient-a7910936.html
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/babylonians-trigonometry-develop-more-advanced-modern-mathematics-3700-years-ago-ancient-a7910936.html
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My wife found an old photo of the Un. of SC's sole Heisman Trophy winner standing in front of a mural I did of him many years ago.
On the far left is a list of his accomplishments.
When they tore the building down I manage to salvage this brick, part of the line that said "NFL Rookie of the Year."
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Wassily Kandinsky (Russian, 1866-1944)
The story goes that Wassily was walking up to his studio when he spied a painting that he liked very much, only to discover it was one of his paintings upside down. Then he was the very first artist to paint just colors and shapes with no discernible object in it.
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Speaking of painting, this guy is good.
In my prime I could cut a chalk line that left exactly half the chalk line showing, meaning I split it right down the middle, and a chalk line is less that a 1/16 inch thick.
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If you have an office job, say, there is no reason whatsoever for you to shower every fucking day. I mean, my god you go from an air conditioned house to an air conditioned car to an air conditioned office.
Of course, if you get really dirty and/or really sweaty, take a shower. But making a daily ritual out of it is just wasteful.
Here's a handy guide:
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Here's a handy guide:
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The worse part of getting old is losing things. Like keys, your password, faith in humanity.
MANMADE AND PROUD OF IT
There is talent in the least likely places.
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There are many ways to deal with a field strewn with rocks that you want to cultivate.
This is a machine that somehow scoops up all the rocks and dirt...
Then spits all that out the back with the rocks on the bottom and the soil at the top.
This guy is digging down to determine how deep the soil is and concludes that it's plenty deep to grow crops.
And think about the resulting ruts used to irrigate.
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This is a luxurious camper with all the things you need...
Including it's own 4x4.
Wouldn't that be wonderful...if you had a gas station every block and a half...in the wilderness.
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Tomato sorter that never gets sick and never needs a day off.
That's goddamn amazing.
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There is a real Blarney Stone at the top of this castle wall.
To kiss it you have lean down backwards, dangling over a hole.
They have installed bars to make it less dangerous, but in the old days they used to hold you by your legs and dangle you down the hole.
I assume the hole was originally used to pour down boiling oil or some such shit.
Now go back and look at the dark lip stained area right in front of the guy's face.
Think of the diseases swimming around in all that spit: AIDS, the common cold, TB, fever blister juice, cum from the blow job she gave her boyfriend in the parking lot, etc.
Good luck with that.
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Didn't catch the artist's name.
There were many more, but you get the point.
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I am having a real great day and I sincerely hope you are having a really great day also.
A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
....OR NOT
You want to guess what happens next.
I can almost guarantee you that it will be wrong.
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While working on this blog at my bar, a guy asked, "Why is she doing that." I said, "Who the fuck cares?!"
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Remind me of the time I padded my resume.
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How you think you look handling stress.
How you really look.
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Yes she spit on it, for reasons I can't fathom.
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Wait for it...
Wait for it...
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That's true, by the way.
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Okay, here we go...
And finally a blast from the past...
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If someone said they are a subpar golfer, are they good or bad?
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Then get over on the side of the road where you belong you provocative little twat.
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I find that very funny.
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2 comments:
Don't know about the US but in civilized countries that "provocative little twat" has the same right to cycle wherever the fuck he wants in his lane as the asshole comfortably sitting in an airconditioned car and still roadraging about fellow travellers in the traffic. This was an attempted murder and I honestly hope the very worst for that imbecile in his shitty volvo.
I drive a golf cart and when I see I'm holding up a couple of cars I pull over and let them pass. It's just common curtesy. I don't condone the car assaulting the cyclist, but get a little situational awareness for Christ's sake. That guy hogging the whole lane at 10 mph just assumed he didn't have a potential roadrage attempted murderer behind him. How smart is that?
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