About Me

My photo
I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

TUESDAY #3330

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com


MERLE HAGGARD I'm A White Boy

I met Mr. Haggard one time. I was his bartender, and with a smile and a slight nod he thanked me for not telling everyone who he was.

NEWSY BITS

Here are the countries with most views of FO.

===
Remember this cartoon that I didn't get?
Gentle Read figured it out:
"On the cartoon with the two UFOs. The one using a tractor beam to lift the human has broken down. The one next to it has a spanner on the side, and is a repair UFO. The UFO with the tractor beam has a hatch open and a smear of green shows that it is being worked on by the alien repair man. Whilst he waits for the repair, so that the tractor beam can complete it's work and transport him to the UFO, the human has elected to sit comfortably and wait patiently, presumably because he has little choice." 
Thank you.

===
Well, I lost a small fortune due to the Eagles' victory and none of you even thought to send me condolences.
Here are a few things I found on line concerning the game.


Just kidding. The fans went insane as predicted.

And...

===
This is the way Philly fans feel this morning.





I wonder how many of you will get that.






WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE

Don't do this.

===
Except for those pesky ole International Space Station images. But you can't blame them for trying.

I was recently chided for discussing this when, supposedly, everyone know they (flatearthers) are just trolling. 
Whatever.

===

And...

===
So what happens when you Tinder date lifts up your shirt and finds your paunch?

===
One of my young servers has wanted to be a stand-up comedian for years. Last week he did 15 minutes at a local club and was received very well. I would love to watch him, but he starts at 10 pm...so I'm out. I copied this for him but thought you may like to see just how fucked up some people are.

===

The internet can't get enough of this bitch.



===
Trump is expected to alter the nuclear posture review (NPR) which would loosen constraints on nuclear weapons use, as well as provide for a low-yield nuclear warhead for the Trident D5 submarine-launched missiles. The NPR, which is the first of its kind in eight years, is expected to be published after Trump’s State of the Union speech towards the end of January.

===
A Texas district judge in Comal County said God told him to intervene in jury deliberations to sway jurors to return a not guilty verdict in the trial of a woman accused of trafficking a teen girl for sex. Judge Jack Robison (pictured above) apologized to jurors for the interruption, but defended his actions by telling them "when God tells me I gotta do something, I gotta do it."
The jury went against the judge's wishes, finding Gloria Romero-Perez guilty of continuous trafficking of a person and later sentenced her to 25 years in prison. They found her not guilty of a separate charge of sale or purchase of a child.

===
I think we need an old priest and a young priest.
It was a joke.

===

<>
In 2016, celebrities died and their legacies touched people. In 2017 celebrities touched people and their legacies died.

<>


ANIMALS

Jellyfish eats another jellyfish damn near it's own size.

===
I really like the design of the spillway or whatever it is.

===
I've had guys on my crew who ate like that.

===

===

===
"Twenty years ago a group of loggers cut down a chestnut oak somewhere in a forest in the state of Georgia, the United States of America. When they sawed off the trunk, they discovered the mummified corpse of a dog entombed inside." 

Apparently, the dog had chased his prey down a hollow in the tree where it became stuck and then died of starvation. Dry conditions inside the hollow of the tree allowed the corpse to dry without rotting. The upward draft of air apparently carried the scent of the dead animal away, so it wasn't devoured by insects or other creatures. The tannic acid of the oak, which is a natural desiccant, also helped absorb the moisture and hardened the animal's skin."

Recently the museum ran a name-the-dog contest, and the name "Stuckie" was chosen. 

===

===
I don't use the word "cute" very often, but goddmanit, that cute as hell.

===
You wonder if the penguin is hurt. I wonder about the tan lines from those sandals.


<>
The next time I'm in a really nice restaurant with my family, I'm going to wait until the waiter brings my food, look at it, then declare boldly, "Oh, man, tomorrow morning this is going to make a premium dump." And if he laughs I double his tip.

<>



PEOPLE DANCING TO THE BEAT OF A DIFFERENT DRUMMER.


===

===
There's always a little Chinese kid better than you.

===

===

===

===
Got to be Russia.

===

===

===
MNBT*

===
Guess who missed the memo...

===
Bill Fucking Murray


<>
When she was about 8 my daughter asked me why Charlie Brown was bald and without missing a beat I said "Chemotherapy." It's called developing her crap detector and I was good at it.

<>


OBJECTS THAT I LIKED

It really bothers me that this treasure has been abandoned.

===
Build it and they will come!
YOU HEAT THEM UP!!!

===
Amazing.

===

Here's the set up: two cars are side by side on the road. One car is going 70mph and the other is going 100mph. The drivers of the cars see a fallen tree in the road and start braking at the same time. The car that had been going 70mph stops right before touching the tree. How fast is the other car going when it hits the tree? The answer surprised me.


===
Mesmerizing...

===
Lot of work for that rather lame gag.

===
Why?

===
The way it could have been.

===

===

===

===
*Might not be true

<>

===

===

===

===
Do you actually believe that?

===


===

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I didn’t mean to “chide”.
Do keep up the good work.

By the way, I was in Columbia yesterday and had one of the
best pizzas of my life. Old Chicago Pizza and Taproom,
near downtown.

Your friend,
-Paul

Random Post

Random Posts Widget

Blog Archive