About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian, and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

TUESDAY #3351

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

One of my favorites.



NEWSY BITS

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My beard has reached Monet length.

I was shooting for the Gandalf look...



But now I've opted for Dumbledore.
Now down to about the third button on my shirt. 
Grooming progress (or lack thereof) to follow.

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I'M NOT EASILY IMPRESSED, BUT...

A happy little water bear scratching his back like a real bear.

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Meet the solenodon, the mammal with a venomous bite. Yes, it's venomous.
Native of Cuba, Haiti, and the Dominican Republic.
If I'm not mistaken the platypus is also venomous.

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4 Gauge Shotgun
What do you hunt with that? Elephants?
Here's a comparison.
I didn't even know they made those.
The gauge number is equal to the number of lead balls of that bore diameter that add up to weigh one pound.
I didn't know that til today.
.410 is not a gauge, but a caliber.

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I say we equip it to spray non-removable dye like they use in shithole country's elections, then

put them on the border to identify the illegals who come across. Rules are simple: Blue people go back.
They are polite, too.

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That was oddly satisfying in slow motion.

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I came across this at my bar and someone asked me what kind of sharks those were.
I answered "What sharks?"

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Okay, this impresses me, but...
I bet you it's a bitch to clean after a while.

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This is fun. Just identify the movie.

And my favorite...

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This is the seal that was on the door to the tomb of King Tut. This knot was made by someone who lived 3,245 years ago.
I think that it wasn't put there to keep out looters, but to keep the remaining workers out.

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" A remarkable photo of a single atom trapped by electric fields has just been awarded the top prize in a well-known science photography competition. The photo is titled “Single Atom in an Ion Trap” and was shot by David Nadlinger of the University of Oxford. (single positively-charged strontium atom)"

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Passersby see a problem, find a solution.

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How wonderful.

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Austria, I think. Reminds me of the million year old glacial ice I got from Alaska. And if you know for a fact that it could not be a million years old, don't tell me. I don't want to know.

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Iranian girls take off their compulsory hijabs & join the civil disobedience movement.
I am far too familiar with what that government can do to just about anyone they want to fuck with. Those are some very brave young women.


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Do you know why the Dairy Queen loved the Burger King? Cause he had a Whopper.
My mother told me that joke many, many years ago.

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Would someone take the time to walk me through that joke real slowly.


GOING SOUTH

When it rains in Mellieħa, Malta
I think that just demonstrates how level those stairs are.

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Never, ever fight the cops. You can't win.
He has literally an army of friends.

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Want to know what it looks like when a flash flood starts upstream.

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The best laid plans...
If schadenfreude had a face.

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People need constant reminders that this is the only planet we have.

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F-111 Emergency Belly Landing
Question: Those do not take off from carriers, so why does it need a tail hook?

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Kid stuck macaroni up his nose...dad had to get it out.
It's my guess that that is not his first child, nor his first noodle in the nose.

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Hidden Camera inside North Korea. A girl collecting weeds to sell them.
Sometimes this allows us to watch it, sometimes it doesn't. But it's worth the effort. I suggest opening in another tab, but that don't always work either.

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Altered Carbon started off great, but then, just like most movies, quickly evolved into a shoot 'em up and sword fights.

But at least they fought naked, which was nice.


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I've attended several sexual harassment classes and still can't figure out how to get away with it.

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I wonder how many people will get that.


JUST THE FACTS, MA'AM


Air Force insignias before WW2.

I feel like painting a giant bullseye on my plane just seems like a really bad idea.
"Sir, it looks like war could break out any day. What do we do?"
"Paint targets on all our planes."

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I got that advice early in my writing spree and tried to use it every chance I got without it being weird.

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I find it interesting that he can call himself that, but I'm not allowed to use the same word. Same with the word "nigga." I never agreed to that rule change.

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You know that feeling when you're hiding from a killer in a dark room and your light up Sketchers go off.

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Ouch.


SILLINESSES


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This took me a minute...

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Now that I've thought about it, those could be a great idea.

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3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Im a dude and i like having dicks in my ass. you can call me a faggot if you would like. it's cool im not an overly emotional old person

Ralph Henry said...

Thank you.

David Hutchinson said...

Many (if not all) military runways have arrested cables. If I'm not mistaken you can see this aircraft's tailhook grab the cable near the end of the clip. That's why the plane stops so quickly.

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