About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian, and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Monday, March 19, 2018

MONDAY #3371 UNEXPECTED

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

Buffalo Springfield 
Stop Children What's That Sound




EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED
Most of these will not require explanation or comment.

Rock, paper, scissors, sterile.

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Ant friends pitch in to help gecko get his life back together.

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I don't know what's up with this one as to why it wan't stay visible, but I found it amazing.

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What the hell is that floating around...a drone?

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Out of the belly of the beast.

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"You told me to run, not how far."

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It's all fun and games until somebody breaks their face.

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Watched a Swedish zombie movie that featured zombies that were not only ran fast, but built sculptures.

This one made of chairs was my favorite.

Children zombies even built their own out of toys.

And as long as you stood still admiring the art, they wouldn't attack you. The non-zombies also drove much cooler cars than they do in American zombie movies.

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Speaking of...
Bummer, that.

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I find that totally unsettling. Who does that?!
But in all fairness, it might be an effective way to get the kid to lay down for a nap.

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Yeah sex is cool but have you ever seen the jerk who went speeding past you pulled over by a cop like one mile down the road?

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FUN WITH LANGUAGE

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That's really not far from the truth.

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????

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That's what you get when you hire the lowest bidder.

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Not sure I understand all there is to understand about this.

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Hahahabananahaha!

Speaking of...


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 I was never good at meth in school ~ or spelling.

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LET'S THINK ABOUT HISTORY AND STUFF

I had a truck just like this. 
Up under the hood it has enough room for a family of Mexicans. Steering wheel as big as a bicycle wheel.

There is a beauty in utility. I nor the wife has owned a passenger car (other than the convertibles) in decades. We both got shit to haul.
I find these two examples thrilling.

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The English women in WWII declared the American GIs in England much funnier than the Englishmen. I will personally take that as a compliment.

I'm going to tell a story one more time, because it made a deep impression me.

General Patton Day Parade in Luxembourg City.

Because I was a fuck up - meaning I only had a couple of months left in the military - I was selected to march in a very large parade like this.
I was on the outside, sixteen abreast, and marched in the gutter, but as I marched I was within inches of the spectators on the sidewalk who patted me on the back and blew me kisses. It seems General Patton liberated the country and those people took it very, very seriously. My group was directly behind a huge bank playing the March song from the Bridge Over the River Kwai and it almost brought tears to my eyes. At the end of the parade route those people had set up a huge circus tent full of tables, chairs and all the beer we could drink. I pleasant surprise.

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Still haven't figured out all there is to figure out about my government banning me from owning a certain kind of gun. But let me just address one part of it, then you can respond if you feel so inclined.
In America's insane war on drugs, we have failed to learn from other countries who solved the problem without throwing millions of their citizens in jail. Mostly they just said that adults can consume whatever the fuck they want into their bodies. But Americans don't like taking advice from anybody...no matter how good that advice is.
In most of the world, citizens are not permitted to have war weapons. These countries don't have mass murders...or very few. I think there's a lesson to be learned from that.

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Kauai Open Ceiling Sea Cave, Hawaii

Can you imagine early man stumbling upon this cave. If the waterfall is not saltwater, it would be like a Stone Age theme park.

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Do any of you people ever stop and ask yourself why the government cares how many people you marry? I think it was just to fuck with the Mormons.


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[Drive thru window]

Me: "The guy behind me said he would pay for this..."

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"Who does your pants? The same guy who taught you how to shoot?"

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I can't remember why I put that guy here in the line-up, but I've decided to just leave it.

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I've never understood the whole faith thing. I guess you could have faith that if you shoot yourself in the head you will die, but nobody uses that word. Nobody says they have faith in gravity. Anybody have an opinion on that word?

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2 comments:

Michelle Obama's Left Nut said...


"These countries don't have mass murders...or very few."

Feel free to be wrong on your own time, try not to drag us down with you.

Of course, mass killings are a thing worldwide. Your impulsive self-hatred is as sad as your self-imposed ignorance.

Google, it is a helpful tool. You're old enough to know better.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_events_named_massacres
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mass_shooting

Ralph Henry said...


"Feel free to be wrong on your own time, try not to drag us down with you."

Are you trying to insult me?
First, you know I was not referring to war time atrocities. What happens in wartime is a whole nother can of worms.
Second, you know I was not referring to civil action against a government, or religious faction.
Since my observation baffled you, let me explain. In other first world countries young men don't regularly walk into a school or church and with no political motive; no hatred of another ethnic group; or religious reason, and just begin to shoot people.

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