About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

SUNDAY #3363

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

PUT THE LIME IN THE COCONUT

NEWSY BITS

Why didn't he just have his hit men shoot the guy in the head? Why leave a signature on the body?

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This is dated, but still kind of interesting.

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FUCK THIS BITCH



I like this post and had fun putting it together, but it's a little fat.
Browsing while watching the Olympics + Watching a lot of Olympics = A lot of images.
Hope you enjoy.


SHIT YOU DON'T SEE EVERY DAMN DAY


The only animal that is born full-grown, dead on the side of the highway.

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My guess is that they were raised together.

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Hahahabananahaha!

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Do you think that was the first time the bird had seen it? Neither do it.

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Pumice again?

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Clear aluminum, because science!
Some folks figured out how to make aluminum clear by creating a ceramic with a bit of science. They can use it to make the ISS windows scratch resistant and basically unbreakable. If this is old I apologize. I just saw it today and was blown away watching sparks fly off that "glass." 

https://youtu.be/OaYt62_osYA


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TALOS (Tactical Assault Light Operator Suit)
-Has liquid body armor that turns into a solid when a magnetic field or electric current is applied. 
-It will have sensors on the skin that monitor the user's vital signs.

-Will provide increased strength and carrying capacity.


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Learning the laws of physics one fun game at a time.


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Play that funky music white boy.


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Imagine trying to learn English and finding out that butt dialing and booty calls are two different things.

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PEOPLE DOING THING I CAN'T OR WON'T DO


I like that shit spewing out of the top of their heads every once in a while.

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Wow!

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Take 6743......and.....ACTION!


She's so happy because she's been out there trying to do that for 7 hours.

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People with free will elect to live in such a place. Almost all jobs can be done elsewhere. You can sell shoes, paint cars, teach children, flip hamburgers anywhere. While you are doing the roof thing, I'm drinking beer on the patio. Choose wisely my friend. 
Here's some lines in a movie that sums it up perfectly.


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If smoking is so bad for your health, how come it cures salmon?

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THE NAUGHTY BITS


An early selfie.

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I've known several female bartenders who would stand right in front of me and pull down their tops to expose even more cleavage and say, "Time to increase my tips." So if you stoke the fires don't be surprised if you get burned from time to time.

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If boys had periods...



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Dear Aliens,

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How very, very true...and wonderful.

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Saying the CNN town hall debate had left him sexually aroused in a way he hadn’t experienced since his failed 2016 presidential run, Florida senator Marco Rubio admitted Friday that he was still rock-hard a couple days after being publicly humiliated on the national stage.
*MNBT

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Dear World, Please leave people like this alone.

They have enough problems without you adding to it...


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No matter your political views I think we can all agree that it feels good to get your genitals licked.

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THINGS GOING TO SHIT

Someone's taking "the floor is lava" a little too literally.

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Communist rally in China in 1950.


If only they had known what Mao had in store for them. When he felt he was loosing power he issued his little red book and ordered his young minions to simply murder every intellectual in the country. Years later Pol Pot did the same in Cambodia.

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Trash Fire is a very strange, yet oddly satisfying movie. You will hate the ending.

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I am perplexed how people can so easily dismiss 3000 years of medical advances in favor of bullshit they read on the internet. Think fear of vaccines. 
Or...


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There is something very, very sad about that.
But I feel that there are different reasons for attending college other than job preparation.



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I hate when a couple argues in public and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.

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AN ATTEMPT AT HUMOR

When you see a fellow white person walk into the movie theater to see Black Panther.

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RH: Technically both can be removed with lasers.

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Just like Grammar used to make.
[ Hahahabananahaha! ]


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You know that feeling when the person that was tailgating you swerves around you and tries to beat the red light and get's t-boned and ejected from the vehicle.

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TALKING POINTS

I have a bartender that looks very much like this young woman. Nice lady, too.


Speaking of bars, I have decided to conduct a joke survey. I will ask everyone I come in contact with if they know a recent joke. I will report my results in due time, but I predict I am going to be disappointed. People just don't tell jokes anymore.

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A true story

I have a new doctor who spent a lot of time discussing my medications. One pill states on the bottle that I should take 1/2 pill twice a day. Well me being a world class lazy person decided to just that the whole pill once a day. She pointed out - and I had never considered - that one dose was only effective for 12 hours, so I had to follow the directions to the letter. Maybe others can learn from my example. 

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Never will I see a double yolk egg that I won't think of the novel I wrote about just that.

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RH: Yeah, that might work when you are a child playing double dare you, but when you become an adult you should lay aside childish things.
I am the exact opposite of "live fast".

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I do like to laugh, but I like to make people laugh more.
And I'm not above little pranks...

Try using this as a water bottle and wait for the looks you get.

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*Might Not Be True



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Life should be more like hockey. If someone pisses you off, just kick their ass then sit in the penalty box for 5 minutes.

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That has got to hurt.

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Don't we all.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Please let me know what the cook/chef guy was doing.
Thanks,
Towanda

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