About Me

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I'm an artist, an educator, Pastafarian and I write. I also will gamble on just about anything. And I like unusual juxtaposition, but I love my wife...and beer. This blog is observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while. Oh, and I mispell alot.

Sunday, June 3, 2018

SUNDAY #3447

One Of My Very Own

EMAIL: ralph.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

NEWSY BITS

Look carefully...

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So this asshole is running for Congress again (and against all logic managed to get 2 percent of the vote last time he ran).
This class act has quotes such as:
“Why doesn’t every pedo just focus on making money so they can get a pedo-wife and then either impregnate her with some fucktoys or adopt some fucktoys?” he wrote on the platform in October. “That would accommodate both those who are and aren’t into incest. And of course, the adoption process lets you pick a boy or a girl.”

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Inside every old person is a young person wondering what the hell happened.

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LIFE ON THE STREET

Just something else to worry about.

==  1 ==

We need to look at this image from time to time.
To remind us that one man can make a difference.

== 2 ==

You did notice that is all painted, didn't you?

== 3 ==

Newsstand, 1942
Imagine how closely everyone followed the news during a total war.

== 4 ==

My nephew told me about a woman who raised pet chickens. She incubated the eggs in her cleavage and knitted them little diapers.

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== 6 ==

I couldn't agree more.


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On Scooby-Doo, Shaggy's real name is Norville Rogers.

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TOPICS I WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS

The Army’s First Black Nurses Were Relegated to Caring for Nazi Prisoners of War.
Yet we moved past that. Not using 20 or so percent of your brains is a very stupid national policy.

== 7 ==

My wife had a sister who had a horse named Cannabis, and when her mother wrote the check for its upkeep she wrote Cannabis in the for line.

==  8 ==

Not so many years ago I dated European girls with armpit hair.
It did not freak me out. When a beautiful woman is lying naked on the bed, her armpits are the last things I'm interested in.
Now it seems that modern views declare pubic hair increasingly forbidden.

Oh, it's easy to think that young women are vulnerable to the dictates of Mother Culture, but I don't see it that way. It's not a huge revelation that advertisement by the products necessary for you to shave every hair below the ears has been so effective that now you can be completely shunned for not obeying their dictates.
Please don't slavishly follow every demand of the advertisers who only want your money.

==  9 ==

Is it a gun control issue? Is it a mental health issue? Is it a matter of securing schools more effectively? I don't know.
But what I do know is that something has to be done. Try SOMETHING...anything and if it doesn't work, try something else.
A high school girl on TV said that she had feared a shooting at her school every day - BEFORE the shooting that occurred. That just ain't right.

==  10 ==

Rule #1: DON'T EVER RESIST ARREST!

==  11 ==

I'm not much of a shaker of hands anymore. I'm not phobic, I just think it's silly.

==  12 ==

It is a wonderful time of life to have the luxury of just ignoring things that bore or irritate me.

==  13 ==

I really like laughing at things most people find too sensitive.

== 14  ==

I used to lock the door and clean my studio naked. It was an unpleasant task and the nudity just made it a little more bearable. 
(That is not a picture of me.)

==  15 ==


I have seen many similar jokes about my Master's Degree in Art.

I did manage to put those skills I learned to make a lot of money painting murals, but, sadly, most art majors do not.

==  16 ==

I remember when I could make a woman's feet do that.

==  17 ==

I've said it before, but it needs repeating; writing was the hardest work I have ever undertaken.


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I remember meeting my wife's mother for the first time. She looked me right in the eye and said, "So, Ralph, I see you like fat chicks."

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ART AND PHOTOGRAPHY


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== 19  ==

Adds a whole new meaning to 'rear-end collision'.

==  20 ==


Speaking of...

These stills from a movie who had a Foot Wash Off Guy.


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Growing up means perpetually bemoaning younger versions of yourself like some kind of neverending babushka doll of self-hate.

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BECOMING LESS STUPID BY LEARNING NEW STUFF

Grape scissors are an instrument specifically designed for cutting grape stalks, and are smaller and designed especially for the purpose. Grape shears were invented in the 19th century, and the earliest examples were from the Regency period, although very few have survived and these early examples are extraordinarily rare now.
These scissors are about 6 to 7 inches (15 to 18 cm) long. The handles are much longer than the blades so that you can insert the blades deeply into a cluster of grapes. Most of the scissor ends have blunt tips so that they won’t puncture the fruit.

==  21 ==



Chinese dredging vessels are purportedly seen in the waters around Mischief Reef in the disputed Spratly Islands in the South China Sea in this still image from video taken by a P-8A Poseidon surveillance aircraft provided by the United States Navy May 21, 2015.



A division of the People’s Liberation Army Air Force recently organized multiple bombers such as the H-6K to conduct take-off and landing training on islands and reefs in the South China Sea in order to improve their ability to ‘reach all territory, conduct strikes at any time and strike in all directions.

The United States has dispatched warships to disputed areas of the South China Sea in a bid to challenge China’s extensive sovereignty claims in the territory, which is subject to various claims by China, Vietnam, the Philippines, Taiwan, Brunei, and Malaysia.

Now imagine China moving all their dredgers off the coast of America and began building huge islands complete with a runway for bombers. 

==  22 ==

Antarctic centric world view.
I thought it was much, much bigger than that.
And that's because I grew up with maps like this.

==  23 ==

The first use of "O.M.G." was in 1917

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==  25 ==

Yeah, new golf ball design works. These are average drive length.

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== 27  ==

I've shown you this image before.
It's a nest of rats with tangled tails.

But I didn't know the same thing happened to squirrels.

Here you see THREE deer tangled.

And amazingly these tangled squirrels are still mobile.

==  28 ==

Guilty.

==29==


== 29a  ==

His and Hers?
What the hell are those?

==  30 ==

My chemist friend was grading papers at the bar and came upon this, causing him to scream.
That from a third-year chemistry student - albeit biological chemistry.

==31==


I'm not much on government managing our lives, but this is insane and maybe it's time for legislation.

==32==

I guess all animals have a thing for having food stolen.

==33==

I am still amazed that the human brain can add all those subtle clues.

==34==

It's not even round!

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==37==

It is called Neat.

==38==

Private prisons are a terrible idea.


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On my resume: I'm a mentally healthy person who LOVES capitalism.

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A perfect scamper.
You don't see people scamper much anymore.

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CARDIAC ARREST

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