MONDAY #3763

One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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My bookie tells me that I can bet on who will be sitting on the throne at the end of Game of Thrones. This is my guy.

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BUT NO CIGAR

For my non-American English speaking viewers, I should explain that here in the United States there is an old saying: Close but no cigar. It means 'you almost got it right.'

A friend of mine once painted this mural in Flint, Michigan titled Overflow Parking.

He incorporated an error very similar to the one above.

The paint on the manhole cover does not line up with the rest of the arrow.

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I personally think this one is so bad that it's good.

That took much more work than doing it properly.
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There is a lesson in that for all of us. 
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A fleeing couple steals a gun in a home invasion robbery, then try to pawn it. The pawn shop owner calls in the serial number and is told the gun was used in a series of murders on the other side of the country. What are the chances?
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I cannot believe someone waited for such a singular event and then took this accursed picture.
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Sorry for the pixels that had to die to make that post. 
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I don't like being left out of a gag.

But I simply don't get that. I even read all the comments, but no cigar. Anybody?
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If you think I won't jerk off to that you are sorely mistaken.
But seriously, man is not the only one to drink another animal's milk.

Those are piglets.
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If I had known video games were that much fun maybe I would have bought a few.
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What Happens Next?

 A. He cuts the shit out of the sheep.
B. He cuts the shit out of himself.
C. The sheep runs off half sheared.
D. There's no way of knowing.
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D. There's no way of knowing. 
That was a gif that was much too large, but you get the point.
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Human love to scare the shit out of one another.

I would be cavemen fucked with each other in much the same way.
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I say when we bury people we tie their shoes together. If there is a zombie apocalypse, at least it will be goddamn hilarious.

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S.T.E.M. MATTERS

Apollo 10 Earth Rise

Documentation of an extraordinary accomplishment for mankind.
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The populace is restless for a solution to this insanity.
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Every once in a while governments do something extremely intelligent. Turning right on red is an example.

Now think of the amazing low-tech engineering developed just to keep the traffic flowing.

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I have NEVER had an automatic checkout work properly for me and now I don't even try. That's not right. 
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Most of you know that Israel has developed a gun that shoots around corners.

But I learned today that there is a stuffed cat accessory that you attach to the end of the barrel.

It has been proven that the enemy combatant will delay a second or two upon seeing the cat - enough time to aim accurately ensuring a kill. (True)
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Me: I like that race car.

Her: You know that’s a palindrome.

Me *rolls eyes*: I’m pretty sure it’s a Ferrari.

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HUMAN ODDITIES

Dick Van Dyke at Age 91 Dances Like a Boss in 'Mary Poppins Returns'.

A cultural treasure. 

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This came without explanation:

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Just makes me want to puke.
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https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/07/us/gofundme-homeless-scam-guilty.html
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[verification needed]
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Me: My car is making a weird noise. 

Guy in bar: Have you tried essential oils?

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ANIMAL ODDITIES

Has science gone too far?

Broke my no-cat rule, but I found that hilarious. 
^^30^^

I bet it's hard to practice that. 
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There was a gif of a snake riding himself round in circles.

 I was a thing to behold, but, alas, to large to upload. Here's the link:
https://imgur.com/gallery/R0UIMQv
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I didn't know that.
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My wife once sexually took off her bra and a chicken wing fell out.

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JUST THE FACTS, MA'AM

 
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Evidence of that was seen in my mother-in-law's ability to sing every song from her childhood, including all her school alma maters. 
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 Same as the first blow job.

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