SUNDAY #3755

One Of My Very Own

 I haven't given up on one in a while, but that was awful. Try this...

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ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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MEN AT WORK

That second or two when he isn't tethered to anything. 
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He makes a loud tapping noise every time the guy cranks his engine. 
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Who does this!?!

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Today in incredible power moves, my wife's cashier sniffed each of her candles as she rung them up and nodded or shook her head after each one.

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"Trace amounts."

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WHEN THINGS GO AWRY

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Is that who I think it is?
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Glider clips a tree and goes down.

Luckily, they walked away with only minor injuries.
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The perfect segue to my next section.
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Teaching my kids math like, “If Disney opens at 8am and closes at 8pm, how many 5-hour energies will Mommy need to bring?”

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FISH AND FISHERS

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Notice the stinger on this bad boy.

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Swim little buddy, SWIM!

Damn. 
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He uses that weapon to chop its prey to piece before eating. 
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Women who fish...

You're welcome.
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I'm making a stop motion animated film out of bonsai trees. I've been at it since 1969 and it's 3 minutes long.

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OBJECTS OF INTEREST

How very clever.
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Fool me once...
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????
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That's like something I would do.
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Teaching my kids math like, “If Disney opens at 8am and closes at 8pm, how many 5-hour energies will Mommy need to bring?”

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THINGS THAT ARE PROBABLY TRUE

You never know when this information may prove beneficial:

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[verification needed] 

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I'm assuming due to compressed snow melting slower than the rest. 
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I saw the initials "BDSM" and asked if it was short for "Buddhism," how is your day going?

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ROMAN THEN AND NOW

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I had a girlfriend from London and while having sex she was like “Mmm yes splendid ah indeed scrumptious carry on.”

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SUNDAY SILLINESS

Comment left for this image: "He fuck that goat."
I found that very funny.
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Hahahabannanaha! 
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Whoever decided how much space should exist between tables in restaurants/cafes has so obviously never met a black woman's butt before.

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THINGS THAT NEED THINKING ABOUT

Yet due to instant news 24 hours a day, we feel vulnerable.
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https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Charles_Kinsey 
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That is something every mother has said more than once. 
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This is a friend of mine.

 She is one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She is now with child and will be a great mom. She's also one of my bartenders.
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Adding “my dude” to the end of any lyric from The Sound of Music makes you sound incredibly high. Like yes, the hills are alive, my dude.

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A SUNDAY ANTI-SERMON

So dying is what you want your child thinking about before falling asleep? Quit scaring children with your silliness. 
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No thinking person really believes that.

No, mom, he IS a gift.
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 Pleeeez.

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