TUESDAY #3757

One Of My Very Own

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ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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PEOPLE YOUR MOM WARNED YOU ABOUT

He must have seen this trick on the internet and every single time the melon explodes, yet he is unprepared for what he should have known would happen.
^^1^^

Golf is a strange game...or at least it has some strange rules. For one, it may be the only sport you can play alone. For that reason, cheating must be a powerful urge. But, like a card game of solitaire, cheating negates all the fun - meaning with cheating the win is worthless. Except for Trump.

^^2^^

I guess there is nothing wrong with single guys doing shit like that, but anyone with children has no right to gamble with their future.

^^3^^

A Texas Border What Happens Next?
How many illegals get out of this truck?

A. 0
B. 1-10
C. 11-20
D. 21-30
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 E: Hell, I couldn't count them all.

I even tried to use single frames to count and that proved fruitless.

But don't they dress nicely for poor people.
https://imgur.com/gallery/BK4vmp9 
^^4^^

How does the above make most Americans feel?

Exactly. Follow the fucking rules or stay the hell out.

^^5^^

That guy probably rides his bicycle down mountains for fun.

^^6^^

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Why is the gynecologist tool called a speculum and not a "snatchula"?

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RARELY SEEN EVENTS

 

Get it? The pictures were in reverse order.
^^7^^

Seen this before?

Good. It deserves to be seen periodically. 
^^8^^

Currency and I have a very special relationship, so special that if I ever came upon one of those bills I would surely shite myself.
I was told that we all should save all "small headed bills" like that one. They are getting rarer and rarer.

^^9^^

Stupid bastard. 
^^10^^

If it works, it ain't stupid #1.

 ^^11^^

If it works, it ain't stupid #2.

^^12^^

We should all strive to be as good at something as this guy is at filling catsup containers.

^^13^^

Pleasedontbedeadpleasedontbedeadpleasedontbedead...

^^14^^

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I think it would be funny to tape pictures of the person you are at the grocery store with onto all the milk cartons then wait.

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THOUGHT FODDER

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Remember what happened last time?

Royal Australian Artillery and the emus won. Damn. 
^^18^^

 
Well, here's the way it is: You are not required to have your restrooms handicap accessible if used only for employees, but as soon as you let one customer use it then it has to be up to federal code. My wife got an estimate at her store and it was $10,000 since basically the entire building would have to be expanded and redesigned.
^^19^^

Saw this in a movie about Vikings.

 I laughed because there are STILL millions of people doing the exact same thing every Sunday and for the exact same reasons.

Having magic water applied to the head by people in funny costumes...

 And the kissing of a ring worn by a man who wipes his ass just like you do...

You are better and smarter than that, Gentle Reader.
^^20^^

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My daughter keeps texting me for tax advice. She's known for 44 years that I have an ART DEGREE. I only act like I file my taxes.

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RH: Yeah, that's the way it happened, but much, much earlier than that. 
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GET LEARNT

Sea Cucumbers

They have five sides, much the way a starfish has five arms.

They have five long strands of muscle that you can easily scrape out...

 And fried...

Said to taste like calamari. 
^^21^^

Vol Trompia, Province of Brescia, Italy

How very beautiful. 
But you would think somebody would have built on the mountains.
^^22^^

 .002 second det cord blast in slow motion.

Fascinating. I practiced blowing up nuclear weapons with that stuff - in case our base was overrun.
https://youtu.be/dHfQYGGUS4U.  
^^23^^

 Slate used to make an arch.

You don't see that often. 
^^24^^

Said to be photos of Pluto, 25 years apart (1994-2019)

Was the first one was shot with a Japanese porn camera?
^^25^^


Slated to serve until 2040, B-52's will most likely outlive that B-2.

 

The youngest B-52 is 55 years old.

 B-52's will certainly outlive the B-2 since its replacement, the B-21 Raider is getting slapped together as I type about it.

 Notice the difference

Mostly the trailing edge configuration.
^^26^^

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You go on cruises when you only want to experience other cultures for an hour or so and still have Budweiser and chicken fingers for dinner.

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LAST LAUGHS

Found these two items that juxtapose perfectly.

^^27^^

How very true. 
^^28^^

I have no clue as to what that means; I just like the image of him in those pants. 
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Mom mocking her child...

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 ^^35^^

 Oh, my.

 ^^36^^

Supersize it.
Hold the pickle.
How much do I owe you?
You call this a large?!
I'm gonna regret eating this.
I've changed my mind. I'll just come inside.
No cheese.

And my favorite...
Can my dog get a little extra something? 
^^37^^

Remember this legend?

An international internet superstar. 
^^38^^

My wizard beard is coming along nicely.

^^39^^

Speaking of... I came across that image of the guy who face-swapped with one of my paintings.

^^40^^

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 Yet another warning from your host: If you have not been trained in fighting, you are going to get your ass kicked every fucking time. I had a friend who trained in the Golden Gloves and he said that the speed of your punch was, of course, important, but the speed of recocking your arm and hitting your opponent again quickly, over and over again was often overlooked.

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 Her boyfriend had that uploaded to Youtube before she even got out of the water.

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