SATURDAY #3817

One Of My Very Own

 <>

EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

<>

Today during the opening game of the women's world cup, a storm knocked out the bar's TVs and this Pong-like screensaver came on.

As it bounced from side to bottom to side etc, I bet all comers that before the game resumed that the logo would hit squarely in the corner and ricochet at exactly a 45-degree angle. Once the money covered the bar we all watched...and...the fucking thing went directly into the corner.
How does a normal person win a bet like that? Well, I'm not a normal person. I had posted a Youtube scene of a bar when the logo did exactly the same thing. As I recall the bartender had promised a free drink if the logo hit exactly in the corner. For proof I offer said video:
https://youtu.be/_zrX3zrpvoY

And a good time was had by all.
<>

 <>

 <>

PEOPLE I WOULD LIKE TO MEET

A great activity for the suicidal thrill seeker...

Can you imagine being that guy's wife and knowing that he's would rather risk his life over making sure he spends the rest of his life with her and the kids? I will say it again, if you want thrills and danger, get a job as a fireman or a bomb disposal guy and at least do some good. 
^^A1^^

Clyde Tombaugh, everyone.

^^A2^^

Who wouldn't want to meet a guy who would walk from Poo Poo Point to Pee Pee Creek?  
^^A3^^

Even though that is *MNBT I would still like to meet the lady who wrote it.
^^A4^^

Wait until she finds out what her clitoris is for.
^^A5^^


My bet is that he's also a vegetarian yoga instructor.
^^A6^^


I would like to ask him just how the hell he built that.
^^A7^^

Divine intervention

Wondering if she went out and immediately bought lottery tickets.
^^A8^^


To all you conspiracy nuts:
So you think that tens of thousands of people can keep their mouths shut for two decades? Ask Richard Nixon how hard it is to keep secrets secret.
^^A9^^

<>

 If you are stressed and it’s making me stressed, then your desserts are also my desserts. That’s science. Now be quiet and hand me a spoon.

<>

<>

PEOPLE BEHAVING LESS THAN ADMIRABLY

And he's staring right at the camera.
^^B1^^

Did you know boiling milk could behave like this?

I blame the company she works for. That young woman needed much more training.
^^B2^^


I wonder if the DJ screwed down his equipment after that.
^^B3^^

Read carefully.

A comment left on the TV Station's website:

This is the TV Station's reply:

^^B4^^

Steven Seagal...DANCING

Not an embarrassment bone in his body. 
^^B5^^

I wonder if this man got a refund from that camel handling workshop.
^^B6^^

RH: I blame reality TV for shit like that. 
^^B7^^

This cashier 100% has weed in his pocket.

^^B8^^

I'll let this speak for itself.

^^B9^^

^^B10^^

Those murdering bastards.
Now my neighborhood has no songbirds or squirrels all thanks to fucking cats. 
^^B11^^

The weight on the lift should help...

But they could easily let a little air out of the tires.
^^B12^^

He looks so angry! 
^^B13^^

 <>

One of my wife's plants hasn’t died in a year, so she added botanist to her resumé.

<>

<>

S.T.E.M. MATTERS

Want to guess what this is before you scroll down?

 Hint: Nothing to do with sound.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

"Look out, Worms!"? What's that got to do with worms?
^^C1^^

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/05/23/china-emits-illegal-greenhouse-gas-that-destroys-ozone-layer-study.html 
^^C2^^

Let's marvel at this one more time...

 ^^C3^^


It looks so easy once you get it to work.
But trust me, failure is the norm...

 ^^C4^^

Baby albino turtle with birth defect - a visible beating heart

 More commonly known as a reptile dysfunction.
^^C5^^

In case you ever wondered how Amazon products got delivered in Venice...

 ^^C6^^

Almost every adult on the planet knows this man's name.

 It's Pavlov.
I was told that at the ringing of the bell the dogs did not salivate but rather perspired because they became hot from excitement.

His hair and beard look so good because they were....conditioned. 
^^C7^^

<>

Mother’s Day is like the Purge for moms. They can literally do whatever they want for 24 hours.

<>

<>

 

SOCIAL CONCERNS

 ^^D1^^
 

 Fuck all philosophy except for whatever the hell Diogenes was trying to teach.
^^D2^^

 

Artists are always being asked to donate their stuff for exposure. I don't do donate shit.

^^D3^^

So he painted a silly picture, coated it with something flammable, then burned it off. I don't get it.

^^D4^^

Harriet Tubman Mural 

Location: 424 Race Street MD

Artist: Michael Rosato

I vote to have her on a US bill.

^^D5^^

 

My little electric cart has a max speed of 25mph and I am tailgated constantly. I hate tailgaters.

^^D6^^

<>

If you meet a baby named "Doris", it's not polite to offer her a cigarette.

<>

<>

LAST LAUGHS

 ^^E1^^

^^E2^^

Adam Sandler looks like he owns every gas station in Detroit.

^^E3^^


Get it?
^^E4^^

I have not one but two portraits of Johnny Cash in my home. 
^^E5^^


^^E6^^




^^E7^^

^^E8^^

<>

 <>

 <>

 <>

 <>

<> 

 <>

 <>

 <>

 <>

 <>