About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Sunday, May 31, 2020

SUNDAY #4176

One Of My Very Own





"Dad joke."



My wife does that...every damn time.


Speaking of...

( Aggravating factors in my state are the use of a dangerous weapon or significant injuries such as loss of teeth or consciousness or broken bones. )
If you've never been handcuffed by a cop have you truly lived? 




Sailor's request for time off...

I do that all the time.

Speaking of...
This is the last step in the manual for how to use a toilet...

Maybe the guy above missed the "pull-down pants" step.






I already remember them vividly. 




announcing “I’m pregnant”
– pretty normal
– congratulations
– are you excited?
screaming “there’s something inside of me”

– sounds dangerous
– we still talking about pregnancy?
– are you john hurt’s character from the hit film alien?



One stupid move...

I was told that when they painted her they had to leave one patch of skin paintless so the skin could "breathe" or else she would die.

I thought this clip was reversed for the last shots.
But no. Watch the reset rope.  


Before John Deere plows were basically a stick that left a rut in the ground in which to place seeds.
Deere's plows turned the soil over which was exactly what the prairie needed.  

You never know when you might need this information...


Do these people pee and shit in their suits? Adult diapers? 
I'm serious. I asked before and nobody left a message. If you know please let me know.

This is one efficient sumbitch...
You would think the pet stores would rent these out for regular cleaning of home aquariums.  


[verification needed] 

Jalopnik's Jason Torchinsky bought his first new car on Alibaba. He paid $930 for the electric Changli NEMECA, batteries not included. The batteries, likely lead-acid, were an additional $350. Then came all the fees to bring the car from China to the USA and get it through customs. The final total for the car is closer to $3,300 which is still less expensive than the comparison vehicle: a golf cart.
Note: Mine has solid doors, windshield wipers, turn signals, lights, etc and I paid much less than that. 

Do you remember the dotted lines on the side of the box so you could cut them open to pour milk in and use them as a bowl?


My wife’s favorite snack while we watch TV is whatever makes the most noise, apparently.



You are sitting in a climate-controlled box, in a comfortable chair, with access to any and all music genres, and the ability to have someone read you a book. So just fucking relax!

Dying is easy...
Don't increase your odds for a cheap thrill. 

Vanity is our national pastime.  

He took this photo to show later when she starts asking "Where did I come from?"
You are to need that therapist on speed dial.  


Fishing for cops with donuts...

That's a lot of effort for the payoff.

Please share this video to be able to identify this thief who stole my mother-in-law's vehicle. 




Speaking of...

At first, I thought I thought he was angry with it.
But now I think he was demonstrating how durable it was.  

Watch carefully.

1. With the danger that the beast could easily drag off your child during his next visit, wouldn't you just shoot it?
2. Do you think there are laws to protect it?
3. Wouldn't you think there were more sophisticated methods of capture other than having a villager attempting to throw a net over it?
4. Who in their right mind would stand around gawking at this?
5. Why aren't they locked in their homes, locked in an interior room inside a closet like where I would be.










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