About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Wednesday, May 19, 2021


 One Of My Very Own


EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com



I have been extraordinarily busy. Finally got the box itself built. Still have a lot of work but at least it looks like a toy box now.


Who decided that skeletons are scary because honestly, I'd be more scared if the muscular system suddenly walked into my room.



Derek Southall

Derek was an Englishman who came to America to teach painting at the University of South Carolina. I had the privileged to have him as my mentor while in graduate school. 

I once brought two very similar very large paintings to a critique and he asked me why. I said that I painted the first and liked it so much that I decided to paint another. Here's what he said in front of a classroom full of students:

"That reminds me of masturbating and it feels so good you decide to do it again. But the second go is never as good as the first."



"One of the more irksome results of quantum mechanics is the revelation that reality is largely a persistent illusion. Quantum mechanics is not merely a theory of the microscopic: all matter is fundamentally quantum—it just so happens that weird quantum effects are hard to observe in anything bigger than a few atoms. Like the flickering silhouettes on the wall in Plato’s allegory of the cave, the existence of macroscopic, so-called “classical” objects is merely a shadow cast by their true quantum forms. This much is not news to physicists, who have been mucking around in the quantum world for more than a century and are mostly unbothered by the crumbling edifice of reality."





One of California's iconic giant sequoia trees was recently found to be still smoldering and smoking in an area of the state devastated by massive wildfires last summer.

When I was but a lad a neighbor cut down a tree and built a bonfire on the stump. The whole neighborhood turned out to bask in its heat for an impromptu party.

Weeks later I was walking through his yard and noticed whiffs of smoke coming out of the ashes. I thought that the fire could not possibly have lasted that long so I place my hand on it - burning the shit out of myself. Come to find out he used that spot in his yard to burn his trash daily.


A bottle of Pétrus 2000 wine that was "aged" for 14 months aboard the International Space Station is now for sale by Christie's. They expect it to fetch around $1 million. A terrestrial bottle of the same wine will be included so the buyer can compare the two.


Iceland “sand snakes”


Material shape memory effect.

Material returning to its original shape with heat.

I'm assuming it's a special material and that those aren't normal objects. Or are they?


Burning The Methane on the Lake

That's fucking amazing!


This explains it much better than I ever could...


[verification needed]



Who the fuck puts ketchup on a hotdog... Communists?!



You could tell me any fact about how dangerous animals are in Australia and I'd believe you. They have vampire bees? Of course, they do. Dogs don't need a permit to carry a gun? I won't even Google it.



A Canadian 22nd Armored beca Regiment Sherman gets a glass of wine from a grateful French woman in Broglie Normandy in August 1944

It's easy to be nice to people who just liberated your country.


But many people delight in spreading a little joy daily.

I had an in-office doctor's appointment yesterday and for the first time realized how much my deaf ass relied on lip-reading. The masks make that impossible.


Covid could have brought out the very best in people...

But sadly there is a large portion of Americans who have no desire to make things better.


Said to be a question on a job application:


Open the fridge, take out the  giraffe, put in the elephant, close 

Leave it in the room, but don't address it.

I would ask the person who gave it to me "Where do you get off giving elephants to people?" and also "Where did you get that elephant??"

Take it over the Alps.

Put it with the others.

Is it a white elephant?

Ask management what the hell they think they're doing suddenly giving me a job I wasn't trained or hired to do without warning.

Kill and eat the elephant.

Can't give it away or sell it. Hmmm, raffle it off?

Is the elephant African or Indian?


Let's revisit floating shipping crates.

The contents of that crate have the potential of making all those men rich. Or not.

I'm reminded of the town in North Carolina that organized the setting of fires on the beach to trick sailing ships into thinking it was the lighthouse and subsequently crash their ship ashore. The townspeople would then salvage all the cargo.

When the federal government stepped in and forbid the practice the mayor said, "Well, how are we supposed to make a living?" Indeed.




One clever photograph and now your daughter is internationally famous.



I want someone to freak out over one of my accomplishments like her brother freaked out over hers.


I wonder how many times in practice the princess was pulled off the back of the platform.


Said to be "rolling foam in the ocean."

It looks like the foam is roiling more violently than the rest of the cove. Anybody?


Mother duck protects babies from heron

Just another reason to love ducks.


Said to be the first Miss Universe contest.


Did you notice it using its tail for propulsion?


Elephant never forgot



High School really had us drinking milk with hamburgers at 11:00am.



This is a real message sent to a boy's mother.

You want to keep your guns - I get that. So how are we going to solve this disgrace? I am wide open to suggestions. But no matter what - we MUST do something.


Oh look, it's every small business owner you meet online.

They have never had an order run late because an executive quit.

I don't think I'm the only one willing to pay higher prices so that workers can receive a living wage.


I think you can tell a lot about a person by the TV shows they watch. If you watch "reality" shows I will judge you harshly.


Every boy needs a dog.



Go fucking figure.


It's hard for me to admit but had I been a young man during covid I would have found a way to hook up with a willing damsel.






From a police press release:

"Please talk to your children about playing the "Nerf Wars" game safely. While we encourage students to have fun we want them to play safe, and each year we have called for students playing this game nude."

"THIS is not ok and could be exposing themselves to children and other citizens. If you are a parent of an AHS student please warn them they could be arrested and issued citations (if playing nude)."





He accidentally soiled her coat.



Yeah, that's all well or good until it comes up to her in her driveway and gets pissed off because she doesn't have the expected snack.


Again I ask - why isn't this man charged with assault?


I laughed aloud at that much harder than I should have.






The eyes have it.








Plod said...

Every boy needs a dog. ^^C4^^

For Gods sake Ralph, buy your grandson a fucking dog ....

Scott James said...

B14: odd that they are all countries except Indiana. Seems like it would have said USA.

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Plod, I'm working on the child's mother.

Steve said...


Each left number is 5 times the right number plus 1

Scott James said...

Puzzle time:
This one took me way longer than it should have. The answer is 8.
61 / 12 is 5 with remainder of 1
76 / 15 is 5 with remainder of 1
106 / 21 is 5 with remainder of 1
151 / 30 is 5 with remainder of 1
Therefore I should divide 41 by 5. Sure enough there's a remainder of one. So eight goes into 41 five times with a remainder of one

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