About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Wednesday, June 30, 2021

WENESDAY #4571

 One Of My Very Own

*MNBT

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EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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I've been watching the shit out of soccer. Even my artwork is on hold for the games.

France/Switzerland was one of the greatest games (of any kind) that I have ever had the pleasure of viewing. I had a little money bet on Switzerland.

So far I'm batting 1000 on my gambling but as I write this I have Ukraine and Sweden looks tough.

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My wife texted me asking if she was getting fat. I replied, "Noo," and it autocorrected to "Moo."


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I'm embarrassed to say that took me a double-take.

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THINGS I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT


Cotton chopping, which is primarily the thinning of the cotton plants, is normally done by hand using a hoe, with the person handling the hoe referred to as a “cotton chopper.”

As I understand it, to ensure maximum yield they planted many more seeds than were needed. The plants need a certain clearance around them so half of the plants must be removed or chopped.

^^A1^^

Tree after getting hit by lightning.

Early humans must have seen this a thousand times then one of them had an idea. He...or she had probably tasted the flesh of an animal burned in a forest fire and decided to try to duplicate it.

^^A2^^

And from that humble beginning, we have this masterpiece...

I imagine ANY cut of meat would be delicious cooked like that.

^^A8^^

People build their dwellings out of anything that is in superabundance: log cabins in forests, stone in rocky areas, sod on the prairie, and even snow in the far north.

So, those Nigerians have a superabundance of trash.

^^A3^^

Never ever allow human flesh in a dog's mouth no matter how young it is. Write that shit down, Y'all, it's important.

^^A4^^

China has a brand of bread named "Stop Interfering in China's Internal Affairs"

After George Floyd and the storming of the Capital, the US has lost much of its moral high ground.

^^A5^^

But under new management, we are trying to regain that high ground.

^^A6^^

Think of it - all the problems could have been avoided if he had just given the guy a raise.

^^A7^^

Foreign terrorists are irrelevant compared to our homegrown white supremacists.

^^A9^^

This man was charged with understanding a virus no one had ever heard of before. He got some things wrong but he could only use data that was available and early on that data was in short supply.

Try to remember what it was like when you tried to solve a problem you had never seen before.
^^A10^^

^^A11^^

All religions seem to think a man is the ultimate achievement of the universe. I strongly disagree.

^^A12^^

These people think they are special what with talking to God and all.

That is an excellent example of mass hysteria. I have seen examples of it over and over. So no, it is not supernatural.

^^A13^^

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Each time you light your lighter it gets lighter until you lighter gets so light it won't light.


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AIN'T NATURE GRAND


Sea Robins have evolved 6 crab-like legs that let them walk on the seafloor.

^^B1^^

^^B2^^

I wonder how many falls it took for them to figure that out.

^^B3^^

Gravity is part of nature...

I'm thinking that's the operator's car.

^^B4^^

This puppy probably had a bunch of brothers and sisters and had to fight for every bite.

My brother brought his high school girlfriend home for supper. We were a family of seven that sat around a huge picnic table in the house. Halfway through the meal, my mother noticed that the girl hadn't eaten a bite. She - an only child - explained that she had been so busy passing food around that she didn't have time. My brother explained that she should learn to pass the dishes around with one hand and eat with the other.

^^B5^^

Time to change the diaper.

^^B6^^

Emerald Tree Boa

Snake doing an impression of my hungry wife.

^^B7^^

It was stated that this is a rare double strike but how would we know. Not all that many have been photographed.

^^B8^^

The Batagaika crater, eastern Siberia, is the biggest permafrost crater in the world. 

The land began to sink due to the thawing permafrost in the 1960s after the surrounding forest was cleared. Flooding also contributed to the enlargement of the crater.

It now turns out that the material here has been frozen for a million years.

"Below the cliff face, steep hills and gullies drop to Batagaika's floor. As more of the material at the bottom of the slope melts and comes loose, a larger face is exposed to the air, which in turn increases the speed of permafrost thawing. The crater will likely eat through the entire hillslope before it slows down. Every year as soon as temperatures go above freezing, it's going to start happening again. Once you've exposed something like this, it's very hard to stop it".

(Mary Edwards of the University of Southampton)

^^B10^^

The water thread experiment is a phenomenon that occurs when two containers of deionized water, placed on an insulator, are connected by a thread, then a high-voltage positive electric charge is applied to one container, and a negative charge to the other. At a critical voltage, an unsupported water liquid bridge is formed between the containers, which will remain even when they are separated. The phenomenon was first reported in 1893 in a public lecture by the British engineer William Armstrong.

^^B11^^

Guess what that is.

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Bugs.

Very eloquent Latin name of the insect - Ephemeroptera - from the Greek words "ephemeron" -fast and "ptera" -wing. The larvae live in the moist soils of rivers and lakes and one warm summer evening, after several transformations, there is a mass flying out of adults in the adult phase.

^^B12^^

Service dog taught to trust a glass floor for the first time.

^^B13^^

Babies must learn the same thing.

Even though they had never seen a drop-off like that before they know it was perilous.

^^B14^^

Every boy needs a dog.

^^B9^^

🎶Cows just want to have fuh-un🎶

^^B15^^

^^B16^^

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Today I got my leg through my knit shorts without losing my balance.


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PEOPLE DOING THINGS I CAN'T OR WON'T DO

*Sorry for their stupid cropping but that's fucking hilarious.

^^C1^^

^^C2^^

Gluing ridiculous shit like that to your body is just embarrassing to the rest of us.

^^C3^^

Watch carefully...

^^C4^^

People getting coca-cola bottles passed by Ronaldo...

^^C5^^

Thieves in South Africa try to carjack an elderly man but everybody won't have it.

^^C6^^

^^C7^^

^^C8^^

^^C9^^

“Driver rams cyclists in Arizona race, critically injuring 6.

Helmets, shoes, and crumpled and broken bicycles were strewn across the street after the crash, and a tire was wedged into the grill of the truck, which had damage to its top and sides and a bullet hole in a window.”

^^C10^^

It weighed 11.9 ounces when born 131 days before the expected due date.

^^C11^^

What kind of insurance waiver must they have to sign?

^^C12^^

Looking straight down you would see tons of rock that had tumbled off the mountain.

The rock he was standing on had a visible crack. Is he fucking nuts?

Don't say you weren't warned...

^^C13^^

USS Cooperstown.

I love how our best method of launching ships is still just pushing it into the water.

It also looks like the whole ship has been wrapped in that plastic that they put on new cars to curtail dings. Anybody knows anything about that?

^^C14^^

He lived to die another day.

^^C15^^

It takes next-level speed to make a 20lb medicine ball look like it's floating...

^^C16^^

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They practice that walk in front of mirrors. Did you know that?

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The day my wife applied for a salesperson's job at Bonwit.

She was super nervous even though I encouraged her the best I could. I waved at her as she drove down the driveway on the way to an hour or so interview. She didn't come home until that evening. After spending most of the day with the manager he offered her the job of heading the largest department in the store. Yeah, she's that good.

I credit my morning wave in the driveway for putting her over the top.

When Bonwit closed due to excessive corporate debt, I also encouraged her to open her own store. Three stores later and here we are.



5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Puzzle:.
Reasons
Pylons
Falcons
Aprons
Onions
Spoons
Lagoons
Patrons

Anonymous said...

C14: it's covered in snow. Not white plastic wrap.

Andy said...

C-14
Looks like snow to me.

Plod said...

GRAB BAG - 3rd one down with the crab ....

How the fuck did he know there was anything let alone a crab in that rock????

Anonymous said...

Soccer: good job on France/Suiss. What a match!
Raul

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