About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Friday, July 23, 2021

FRIDAY #4594

One Of My Very Own


EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com


This is the nurse who wrote that:

This is what happened to her:



I was so proud of myself today. After working two afternoons on another toy box I looked at it and was repulsed. I dismantled it for parts and will begin again tomorrow. My pride came from my willingness to sacrifice my labor for the sake of quality.



If I were a baby with no appointments or responsibilities I would surely not wake up crying at 3 o'clock every morning.





I learned very early that one of the jobs of a bartender was to remember jokes. For whatever reason, I was very good at it.

I still enjoy making people laugh very much. I often just look at the delightful distortions of a person's face when I make them laugh.


Not mine. She is very articulate in defining exactly what is bugging her.


I think immigration is the best thing to ever happen to America. Think about it - people CHOOSE to come here.

Imagine living in America with no diversity in restaurant cuisine or music or dance or world views.

I'm reminded of my belief that a mongrel mutt is the best of dogs because it is an amalgam of traits from all the breeds that compose it. Nations are the same.


I have criticized many paintings that I have shared with you. My severest criticism is allocated to the duplication of pedestrian images. Think of a library full of novels with the same plot. Songs with the same tune. You get my point.

But modern man seems very comfortable dressing the same, driving the exact same vehicles, and living in identical-looking houses.


My daughter was in the 8th grade when that happened to me. BTW her getting her Ph.D. was the proudest event of my whole life. Nothing I have done even comes close.


I revel in the absurd. I bet 99% of people reading that think it's just silly. I know better.


The Virgin Galactic flight that took Branson to the edge of space must have had phenomenal worldwide viewership. If you watched it on CNN then you saw a beautiful young woman cover it on her very first day at CNN. Her first assignment was gigantic and she nailed it...but I didn't catch her name.


I hear an old song and clearly remember where I danced to it and who I was dancing with. And I smile at the memory.


I have done things like that but I am pretty damn good at figuring out the physics of a problem. For instance, that guy needs two boards under the stool for maximum stability.


I have often criticized grown men playing silly games. Not anymore. Anything that gets people off their ass and exercising is okay by me.


My friend and bartender, Nick, has moved to another bar too far from my home to visit. I made him this as a going away gift.

That cash collector is titled: "One Foot of Ones"

Nowadays few people use cash but service workers get a ton of ones in the form of tips. I will miss him.


I was in line at the drive-thru at Bojangles and saw these signs.


Let's take a closer look...

$500 signing bonus and $500 for staying on the job.

In my opinion, Bojangles is a national treasure and their pinto beans were given to us by God on the eighth day of creation.

As an aside consider the term "drive-thru". Some ad agency just decided to drop several letters in the word through and...it stuck. I hope that happens with U for you and R for are.


Growing up in rural Alabama the sky looked like this. With modern light pollution, hardly anyone can even see the night sky. I find that sad.


The pole vaulters developed or adapted a better pole. I imagine they were not allowed unless they were available to all the athletes. Different sports have different rules concerning what equipment is or is not allowed. In baseball, the balls must all be identical. In golf, you can use any ball you want.

But I have long believed that in Nascar they should change the rules to allow the cars less and less gasoline per year. Make the competitors solve how to get the maximum speed out of every drop of fuel. I think we will be surprised what those good old boys could come up with.


My friend who refused to get a vaccine because he watches too much Fox News has been cut out of my life. That's about the worst punishment I can impose.


I reminded that non-vaccinated friend that he believes he had discovered something that all the experts had missed and he scoffed at their expertise.

Well, someone saw that coming years ago.


When traveling out west I would try to imagine all the human footprints ever placed on the landscape and try to determine an area that would have none.


I watched Crocodile Dundee again the other night. Without saying he's a great actor, I will say he did a great job with the role he was given.


"I don't want my children to think I was a racist just because I rode on a bus that made black people sit in the back." 

Well, Sparky, you WERE a racist!


I'm the first guy who will let anyone in line in situations like that. However, if you drive all the way to the front of the line and then try to merge I will wreck my truck keeping you out.



It doesn't always get the credit it deserves but the way L-M-N-O-P trips off your tongue really gives you the confidence to tackle the heavy shit later in the alphabet.



My wife was so proud to finish a crossword all by herself.



That's a real thing you know.




Barbecue with coleslaw...yummy!


Let's take another look at this elaborate silliness.





I really like my friend's work.

Nice try, Japan.

*viewer contribution

^^B 11-13^^


My tree guy showed up today to remove a limb and he brought his son, Forrest. I thought that was funny.



How windy is it?


Another South Africa hijack attempt.

South Africa is the new Wild West.

But why wouldn't the bad guys just block the road with old cars or logs or hay bales or something?


Real-life horror stories, Part 1: The phone call.

This is what she looked like.

When I noticed that this came from The Daily Mail I had my doubts.

But as I looked farther I now assume it's factual.


1922 photograph depicting the interior of Tutankhamun’s tomb.

There is some speculation that he was placed in a tomb that was intended for someone else. The haphazard why the items were strewn about seems to suggest the same.


Lucky Limey!

A British soldier has cheated death after crashing into someone's roof and falling into their kitchen when his parachute failed to fully deploy during a training exercise in California.

The parachutist jumped out of a plane from 15,000ft in a High Altitude Low Opening exercise known as Halo which is used by the SAS and SBS for covert missions in hostile territory.

But the soldier started to spiral out of control when the parachute failed to fully deploy over the skies of Atascadero. He deployed his reserve parachute but it was too late and he continued his rapid descent towards the ground.  Residents called 911 after seeing him falling before he smashed into the house. The impact left a huge hole in the tiled roof of the bungalow as the soldier fell through the loft and into the kitchen.

The soldier only received minor injuries from the crash landing and was taken to the hospital for treatment.


The bigger the dog the greater need for discipline.


This confused me at first even though I have seen something similar a dozen times.

Train passing through Maeklong railway market in Bangkok.


Olympics 1996 an injured Kerri Strug lands on one leg and locks the gold medal for team USA.


The future has arrived.


Somebody didn't follow the departure checklist...


Life in the wild is perilous for all concerned.

But these people made a conscious decision to fish from the shore of a croc-infested pond.

A croc can outrun a man.

^^C 11-12^^






Think Christians murdering abortion doctors.







On many - if not most - of my murals, I paint myself about 12" high painting the credits.



Anonymous said...

Puzzle time:
Gracie found seven eggs and ate five of them, of course.

"G" "E"

ponder said...

South Africa is the new Wild West.

But why wouldn't the bad guys just block the road with old cars or logs or hay bales or something?


Oh they do, they place rocks & diy welded spikes in the road.

Anonymous said...

A3“I think immigration is the best thing to ever happen to America. Think about it - people CHOOSE to come here.” Native americans may not agree with the BEST thing. Yep, they do choose to come here. BTW did you see the number of oppressed anti-capitalists and socialists in those make shift rafts paddling to Cuba? Yeah, me either.

Anonymous said...

B1: I knew it wouldn't take long to find. The Atlantic published an article "The Hidden Bigotry of Crosswords". You like science. Scientists predict that liberals will run out of things to label as racist by 2023. We have much to look forward too.

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Anon B1, Crosswords are biased to white people. They ask for Frank Sinatra's middle name but nothing about rappers. They ask about escargot but nothing about chittlings. You get my point.
It's the same way standardized tests for students were biased to northerners. It would ask math questions about planes leaving La Guardia and elevators in the Empire State building, and subway stops. Southern kids froze when merely trying to read La Guardia.
So please just stop with your white whining. People like you give white people a bad name.

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