About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Wednesday, July 7, 2021


 One Of My Very Own

They can't all be gems.


EMAIL: ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com






The best part of being an adult is having your own ice cream you can eat straight out of the container and not have to dirty a bowl and the worse part is everything else.


*That took me much longer than it should have.

BTW I put a * preceding an italicized comment when there is any chance my comment might be confused with the stolen content...like the above.



It's almost like deeply flawed human beings made up the whole thing.


This man will send you to jail for posting this in his country. That's fucking sick.

So, imagine the courage this takes...

Dong Zehua stands in Tiananmen Square on June 4, 2019, wearing a t-shirt with the date of a massacre thirty years prior. China detained him, then erased that too.


"Effective" would not be my word of choice.


There are far too many people dying in American prisons. My ignorance can only be quelled with a full investigation.



From Canada...

Catholic Boarding Schools.

I couldn't agree more.


That's just...I don't know...sane!


We all agree that no American should be able to buy that kind of firepower. So this second amendment argument comes down to where we draw the line.


Well, Richard, the problem is that people in educated countries are not replacing themselves but poor, uneducated people are breeding like rabbits. Let's just wait and see how that works out for humanity.


Come to find out that during staythefuckathome my young friends drank less since most of their heavy drinking was done in bars with friends. 

My drinking is at an all-time low which I'm rather proud of.


Another example of marketing with humor. 

I'm all for it.


I just demand politeness. Saying Thank You should be standard. I'm reminded of the time I gave a cashier a $10 bill and I watched as she counted out change for a $20. I vowed to tell her of her error only if she thanked me. She did not. I kept the money.


My wife found 5 $20 bills in the dryer and asked if they were mine. I lied and told her I left them in my pocket on purpose to see if she would tell me.

But I'm the only member of the household that still uses cash.


Actual Headline:

"Scotland now produces enough wind energy for two Scotlands."

What are they going to do with the leftover wind they generate?

I think black churches would be the most affected.



I just want to make love in a haunted mansion during a lightning storm on a bearskin rug in front of a fireplace while the groundskeeper watches from inside the walls through a painting with cut-out eyes. Is that too much to ask?






The first beauty contest in the USSR, 1988

Virgins all.


I do that! I also visualize a little man running along beside the car jumping any and all obstacles - but only if I'm a passenger.


I have a nephew who would surely try that...the other two are sane.




This is not a call for violence. 

No politician was harmed in the making of these videos.

Do not try this at home.


This has been around a long, long time...

It's a brilliant photograph...which probably explains its longevity.


I could never bring myself to sample my wife's breast milk. There was something repugnant about making something sexual out of something involving my infant daughters.


Well, boys, the votes are in and I think you can take that one off your hit list.


This is the way all humans are supposed to interact.

But that doesn't mean we can't make fun of them...


After four years of the military dictating exactly what I could and could not wear I vowed to never follow any fashion trends in the future.


As we drove by Target my wife said, "Why is their logo a circle with a dot in the middle?"

Almost immediately she moaned at her mistake and made me swear I wouldn't tell anybody. And of course, I swore I would not.


My father used to tell the story about a man who couldn't afford new tires so he traded in the car for a new one.

I wrote a piece of dialogue about something similar:

"My wife wouldn't take it up the arse so I found a new one. But I would never tell anyone about that because it's none of their business."



People think it’s embarrassing Elvis died taking a shit in his bathroom but it’s way less embarrassing than if he died taking a shit in his kitchen or even in somebody else's bathroom.



Looks like a prop from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?


The accompanying caption:

"Then and Now at Fukushima Disaster Zone"

It was so powerful it caused the mountains to shrink!

Seriously, why did they show us that? What are we supposed to learn? Why does the little man not move? Plus, "Fukushima disaster zone" somehow implies that the nuclear power plant is the cause of the disaster.


This was posted as fact on a site I visit regularly. 

How could anyone be that naive?

If I ever post anything that is blatantly false, I implore you to tell me immediately.


"Get your drunk ass out of the road, Paulie!"

I've seen horizontal, I've seen vertical... What kind of monster films diagonally??




Titled: Bagette Dude Refuses the Tit.


I want a footrest in my car!


Rather unique that.


So the cop obeyed...

As did the bum in the alley...

And me and my mates in the bar across the street...



The low budget train scene

The mirrors give the sense of movement and the man jumping up and down on the 4x4 shakes the train.

My friend worked on a voodoo movie in Haiti where a man hallucinates in a hallway as the walls twist and the floor heaves.

The director wanted to bring in hydraulic jacks and computer timers, but my friend built a hallway similar to the one above out of 1x3s with 1/4" plywood sheeting the walls, ceiling, and floor. With a half dozen 4x4s wedged in under it, he could achieve as much or as little warping as the director desired.


The nuclear storage area was surrounded by a 30' earthen berm to curtail lateral damage from a catastrophic explosion. Periodically they brought in men with scythes to "mow" it since traditional lawn mowing was impossible. Many times I was assigned to keep an eye on them. The one thing I learned was since they were being paid by the hour, they spent much more time sharpening the scythes than they did cutting the grass.







It doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing proposition. Let them deduct the sanctuary and anything else directly related to the practice of their superstitions but tax the investments.


That's one lucky motherfucker.





These are your children and grandchildren that we are allowing to be fucked. What's wrong with us?


This is a mural I painted in a retirement home.

The residents spent a lot of time reminiscing about the stores that they remember from their youth, having ridden on that very streetcar, and the fashion of the people depicted.


Anonymous said...

Puzzle time:

Solve for X

Anonymous said...

A9 - Richard Attenborough's long dead I'm afraid, that is David Attenborough.

People in poorer countries who breed more, often have a higher infant mortality rate, which is another point to consider. Likewise we maybe need to stop the 'poor people are dying everyday - sign up to give $x a month to save them' adverts.

David said...

The cartoon where god spills the assholes (no #)

I can't help but notice he's shaking the asshole cannister over north America

Dr. WeTodd said...

A4 McAfee died in a Spanish jail, some say he was suicided.


Leave out politics; you're not clever enough. In fact not clever at all, rather the reverse. Mike

Anonymous said...

The couple and the trees - no number

I don't get it at all. Are they fucking the trees?

Ralph Henry said...

Hey, Mike, why don't you demonstrate your superior cleverness by sharing your political views? My viewers deserve an alternative view.
Let's start with your views on why America lost 600K+ to covid, far above the world's average. We await your learned response.

Burgervan said...

HARRIS is Cockney rhyming slang for 'Arse' or 'Ass' as the yanks say. It's actually Double slang because 'Harris' is in reference to Aristotle Onassis where Aristotle rhymes with 'Bottle' and 'Bottle and Glass' Rhymes with 'Arse'. So Mike is an Arse and talks out of His 'Arris', as we Londoners say. By the way, I'm not clever, either.

A14: I don't know why they bother turning any lights on in Scotland, anyway. They're always completely Blind drunk.

Anonymous said...

#1 Re "Advice, observations...." Many sought degrees in useless studies such as art history, gender studies, anthropology, journalism etc. Now they want someone else to be responsible for their stupidity. Their parents deserve the support burden for not providing proper direction. This is how the lesson will be learned.
#2 Imagine if you can that Trump threatened to use F15s and nukes on US citizens. Your MSM would be 24/7 covering it.

Ralph Henry said...

No, Anonymous, you don't mean "Useless" you mean "Worthless" in that it is difficult to earn money from. Surely you don't mean the world needs no anthropologists or art historians.
But more fundamentally, why is it that other countries pay for deserving students' higher education and we don't?

Anonymous said...

No, the world needs some but surely you understand it's supply vs demand. These "deserving students" are only deserving if they understand that simple concept. Too many "anthropologists" are too often found saying "would you like fries with that." Government backed student loans are a big part of the problem. Lenders don't care if a student is pursuing a degree in under water basket weaving and never able to service the debt. There is no risk assessment by lenders or the government. Simply put, you are correct...."worthless"

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