One Of My Very Own
PEOPLE NOT LIKE YOU AND ME
My wife told me that our neighbor gave his wife Martha flowers every day and that I should do that also. So the next day I gave Martha a dozen roses and my wife still got mad.
ON NAUGHTY BITS
I once had a girlfriend in Germany who would sit right in front of me to take off her bra. She would drop the shoulder straps, pull down the cups, then turn the whole contraption around to release the clasps. When she pulled down the cups her breasts would spring up sort of like that woman's butt cheeks above. I will never, ever forget that spring back.
"It's not worth it"?
She even sits with a man spread.
I demand that be taught in sex ed!
Oh, I think they knew exactly what they were doing.
Titties make everything better.
The cutest bartender I saw had a diamond stud in her nose. She explained that it had a small disc on the tip of the stud that was inserted under the skin. I asked if it hurt when installed and she told me she had five and none of them involved pain of any kind. She then showed me the three on her wrist. I very timidly asked, "May I be so bold as to ask you where the fifth one is?" And she immediately lifted up her blouse to reveal her perfect belly button with several piercings including a diamond stud. I gapped embarrassingly and mumbled, "That's...that's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." And I meant it.
I would like to have seen that.
My teenage daughters treated me like a God. They acted like I didn't exist until they needed something.
THE MANIPULATION OF THINGS
My photoshopping friend did this for me.
The "ice" is all plastic and they get the glass to sweat with a mister.
My ex-wife was an account manager for an ad agency. When it came time for the final shoot she spent hours wiping fingerprints off of every object to be used.
Remember when people thought that entertaining the eye was important?
Have you ever wondered how many people have masturbated while thinking of you? Siblings don't count.
The most hated aspect of the game.
In most sports, grown men try to hide the fact that the opponent hurt them.
Leviticus 19:28, which says, ”You shall not make...any marks on you: I am the Lord.”
I remember that movie.
Police blocked off the road for a fatal crash scene. Someone tried to drive through it anyway.
All of those things are much more stupid than how you wear the bill of your cap.
"FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT."
Well, we are finding out. It's time to pay the Covid Piper and this time he demands the lives of our babies. And this latest nightmare was preventable.
Pick any measure - Standardized tests, SAT scores, admittance to college, etc, and the South performs poorly...more poorly than any other area in the US. So it shouldn't surprise anyone that we are too stupid to see the benefits of vaccines.
NOTE: I know other non-southern states have problems.
If you want to blame Biden for something blame him for abandoning thousands of loyal allies in Afghanistan with the Taliban closing in. We owe it to them to get them out NOW because we are about to have another Vietnam moment!
For a short while, I toyed with using words in my painting.
Jasper Johns painted many pieces with letters and numbers. He attended the same university as I.