About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Monday, August 9, 2021

MONDAY #4611

One Of My Very Own 





A smattering of opinions about this issue:

You people are killing our children. Enough is enough.




What if farting was contagious like yawning?



46-year-old Gymnast Oksana Chusovitina takes her final bow as she competed at her eighth and last Olympics.

*I think I posted something about her during the last Olympics.


Helen Keller was accepted to Harvard in 1900. Mark Twain introduced her to Standard Oil magnate, Henry Rogers, who paid for her education. And in 1904, she became the first deaf-blind person to earn a bachelor's degree.

[verification needed]



The Family!




*viewer contribution



That took me much too long.


I thought her concern for that cat, under those circumstances, was the most unbelievable plot hole in the history of the cinema.


I once had a racist complaint about there being a Miss Black America but Caucasians were not allowed to have a Miss White America contest.

First Miss America Pageant 1921

Miss Black America, 1984

I explained to him that for half a century they had a Miss White America contest since blacks were not allowed. 

And the same thing could be said for college admissions, etc. When a race was denied for most of our history then it is only fair to play catch-up.


I'm pulling for the guy.


Jean de Selys Longchamps was a Belgian aristocrat who flew with the RAF during World War II. After learning that his father had been murdered by the Nazis, he flew to Brussels and machine-gunned the Gestapo headquarters. He was demoted for insubordination but also awarded a medal for heroism.


The wife and I have TOTALLY given up on cooking. She doesn't even go grocery shopping anymore. Here's why.
A few months ago I developed a stomach "condition". After dinner every two or three days I would suffer from severe stomach pain. It was not heartburn but rather it felt exactly like my diaphragm was cramping. But get this...every single time it lasted for exactly 20 minutes. You could set your watch by it. I tried every medicine before and after the onset. Nothing worked.
Then I conducted an experiment. I ate my large meal around noon then just snacked in the evening. That was a month ago and I have not had the pain again. And nobody wants to cook midday so we get take out. Today is fried chicken with beans, biscuits, and mashed potatoes.
And get this...WE ARE ACTUALLY SAVING MONEY! We don't throw away any spoiled food anymore. We don't throw away massive amounts of leftovers on the plates. There are no more pork chops languishing for months in the bottom of the freezer.
We found a fish market that cooks the best seafood platter known to man. We, of course, have found the best barbecue in the county. We get Chinese once a week. All of these meals are absolutely delicious and relatively cheap. Bon appetit.

I hate racists so very much.


Ladies and Gentlemen, Ms. Tilda Swinton...again.


If you invented a country from scratch would you include this?



Every admirer is a secret admirer if you're unable to pick up on social cues.



In east Africa, movies are often watched with a "VJ" or "video joker" who provides live narration over the movie for translation, contextualization, or comedy purposes.




Contributor's comments:

"This post gave me an idea for a 'Heath Robinson', type contraption. People have to climb the 'Shit-pile', to have a shit and the crane just lifts all the full toilets up and empties 'em on top of the 'Shit-pile'."


When the USS West Virginia battleship was finally salvaged 6 months after the attack on Pearl Harbour, a calendar was found in an air-tight room where 3 trapped sailors had marked off 16 days until they died.


The Tour de France has a team that drives each day's route and turns genitals graffitied on the road into owls and butterflies.


In 1927, during the worst flood in the history of the Mississippi River Valley, Herbert Hoover and the Red Cross set up "concentration camps" comprised of African Americans forced to work at gunpoint on the levee, and created a media campaign to cover it up.

[verification needed]


The city of Carmel, IN has the most roundabouts per city in the US, with a total of 138. Since regular intersections were replaced with roundabouts, the number of accidents here has reduced by 40%.



Yeah, it's all fun and games until the mother thinks the baby is being threatened. Mom's will do anything to protect their young.

And wild animals do wild things...


The largest airplane boneyard in the world.

Davis-Monthan Air Force Base in Tucson, Arizona.

I wrote an apocalyptic book years ago. The survivors organized around a central goal and that was to save as much as they could. This included famous paintings and sculptures, manuals for manufacturing everything you can imagine, simple to complex machines, etc. Anything that would help the survivors restart society. They scoured the country to find and retrieve items and stored them inside the planes at that graveyard. Codes much like the Dewey Decimal System were spray-painted on the tails so items could easily be located.


I would assume that they could not just release oxygen into the cabin because of the risk of fire.



I know that LMK means 'Let Me Know' but I can't help reading it as Lartin Muther King.



I have often criticized McNuggets because pureeing various body parts of chickens and adding chemicals to give them taste and texture was not my idea of a healthy snack.

Then I got to thinking about barbecue hash and realized many foods contain "various body parts".

And don't even get me started on these things...



I think this is a repost but it still leaves me in awe.


There was an infamous game of roulette played in Monte-Carlo on August 18, 1913, where the ball fell on black 26 times in a row. Gamblers lost millions expecting it to land on red along the way, making "the gambler's fallacy" famous.

*I would have lost not only the house but all the outbuildings. I am a Due Factor guy. I have won a lot of money by realizing that a change is due. Remember when the Patriots were in the Super Bowl trying to have a perfect season? My Due Factor told me they would lose...and they did.


Wood filler is always drying out. I looked up what to use to re-moisten it and was told to use Canola oil. We shall see. (Later: It worked...sort of.)

Since then I have bought tubes of the stuff and hope that it will solve this premature dying problem.


Has your drunk ass ever been abandoned at a club by disgusted friends and then a different group adopts you? Same thing.



One of nature's apex predators...

I hate cats but even I was impressed by that thing.




It has two little propellers on the trailing edge of the wings.







People die from less.






When I was in my prime I spent a lot of time in front of TV cameras. I was featured on shows that went national and learned that there is a right and wrong way to answer questions.

But first here are some photos of me on the TV:

I learned very early in the game that if the interviewer asked how old I was I should say "I am 39 years old" instead of just "39" because they want to edit the question out of the tape. During an extended three-day shadowing by a national NBC crew, I sat in my studio for the last interviews. My studio was packed with people and I was careful to answer questions as described above and the guy asked, "Did you have sex with your wife before you married her?" Immediately my brain was trying to figure out how to answer so that his question could be edited out. Then they started laughing, I started laughing, and a good time was had by all.

Then one day I am on a mural site and a wonderful young Asian lady politely interrupted me explaining that she, her cameraman, sound man, and producer had traveled from Japan to interview me. I was flabbergasted and after they spent all day with me I took them back to my house and barbecued them chicken.



Re vaccination. I think you should see a psychiatrist. Mike

Anonymous said...

C7: It's just a scratch.

Anonymous said...

C1: chicken McNuggets are not various pureed body parts. It's pure white meat. Nothing gross about it, other than it's been pureed of course.

Ralph Henry said...

Dear Nuggeter, then why puree it?

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