About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Thursday, August 26, 2021


 One Of My Very Own





A policeman was severely injured in an auto accident. My wife started a GoFundMe and raised over 10K in 24 hours.

Her way is infinitely better than thoughts and prayers.




Offshore Oil Rig Evacuation System


The Indonesian Army "proves" every female recruit is a virgin.

The virginity check, which extended to military fiancées, involves someone placing two fingers into the vagina to determine whether or not they've had intercourse, due to the state of the hymen.

In 2018 the World Health Organization released a statement on the practice, saying there was "no place" for it as it had no "scientific validity."

Previously the tests were ordered under the guise of morality, with Indonesian military spokesperson Fuad Basya telling The Guardian in 2015: "We need to examine the mentality of these applicants. If they are no longer virgins, if they are naughty, it means their mentality is not good."

(red emphasis mine)



Words like "Almost Certainly...Probably" scare the shit out of me.



When exploring alien worlds, it's important to know exactly what you're looking at – and a fresh analysis of rock samples taken from the Gale crater on Mars suggests this ancient grit might not be the lake sediment we thought it was.



"We know very clearly with coronavirus that this current variant, the Delta variant, will still infect people who have been vaccinated, and that does mean that anyone who's still unvaccinated, at some point, will meet the virus."



Meanwhile: A little girl sells lemonade to fund her brain surgery.

And it gets worse...


I want a powerful military. But at some point, you have to ask yourself if it's just gotten ridiculous. Do we need as many aircraft carriers as the rest of the world combined? Do we need to build and maintain many times the number of nuclear weapons it takes to destroy the whole world?


*I know I've told you that before but maybe some of you need to hear it again.



Movies taught me that, when you place a small sentimental item in someone’s hand, you also have to close their hand for them.



It is all too tempting to post all people in the other camp who are assholes. But no camp is devoid of such characters. I present these only to illustrate the futility.



Well, we had a serial killer who took his instructions from a dog for Christ's sake. The man was deranged long before he found QAnon.


This guy, however, is a political operative who gets far too much airtime, and anything I can do to show just how batshit crazy he is is open season.

MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell fled the stage at his cyber symposium at the same time news broke that Dominion's billion-dollar defamation lawsuit against him would proceed.


Does that man's mantra lie about Mexico paying for the wall not bother any of his fans? I would like to remind you that in a criminal court if you catch a witness in one lie then EVERYTHING they say is suspect. Now I have to ask you what is the most likely scenario:

A: That these people are corrupt: 

Dozens of judges at every level, tens of thousands of poll workers, the thousands of people who conducted the many recounts, the Secretaries of State of blue and red states, leaders of the Republican Party who vouched for Biden's victory, Trump's Attorney General, Sen. Graham, Trump's own election electronic security expert, etc, etc, etc, etc.


B. The unsupported claim that the election was stolen by a known liar who never polled over 50%.



I wonder if the disciples got mad when Jesus got promoted to God like:

Disciple 1: Who did he have to heal to get this job?

Disciple 2: His dad owns the company.







It took months of spending hours a night searching for something I could tolerate but I finally dropped Netflix.



How very true.


Can you imagine browsing Pornhub and coming upon your daughter?



Boy, this hit close to home...



The closer the wasp is, the slower the window rolls up. It’s real-life horror movie science.



Did anyone else notice that her pigtails are different in real life and her portrait?

The artist I hired on the Left Bank in Paris to sketch my wife was that good.


I have two daughters and this sums their differences up very nicely.


Yeah, I looked it up and it's a costume...




Need some laughs? Give it a try.

This was my laugh-out-loud moment but I kept it small so it wouldn't spoil it for you.



I love real onion rings.

And those pureed and press formed frozen king...

I love those too.


A sword in a stone, Somerset, England.


My wife asking for forgiveness from the drivers in the four lanes that she cut off to make her exit.



Do you think that's real?

Okay, here's my mural philosophy. By painting a mural, you are more or less forcing people to look at it every day of their lives. It's like setting up huge speakers and playing very loud music that can be heard for blocks. In both scenarios, I think it advisable to ask the people what they would like to look at or listen to. Would you vote to look at that every day?


I really like this painting technique...


Southern Right Whale Dolphin


Have you ever seen a cow dive?

Me neither.



Rocky Mountain Oysters - the original sack lunch.



When I realize that someone I know is a racist, xenophobe, sexist, anti-semite, and/or homophobe I will drop them like a hot rock. Life is too short to fill what time we are given with hate.

I now have to add being stupid on purpose.

I love to add a little humor to your day but I can't ignore the shitshow happening around me. My grandson will one day ask me what I did during the pandemic and at least I can tell him I tried to urge people to do the sane things to save themselves, their neighbors, and loved ones, and to keep their country from further embarrassment.

Here I submit various items to give you some clever ammunition to use on that crazy uncle we all have who thinks covid is a liberal hoax. Plus I found most of them hilarious.

Well, do you? Do you think the creator of the entire universe can hear you if you wear a mask? Let's take that to its logical conclusion: Does God hear the thoughts of a man with no vocal cords?



I find such stupidity fucking hilarious! There is no other way to explain turning down a proven vaccine in favor of an animal worm medicine but cleansing the fucking gene pool and at this point I'm all for it!


Are they doing a Planned Parenthood commercial?


I would like to remind you that when I ask a visitor if they have been vaccinated the response I get is: "Of course! I'm not a fucking idiot!"

They are actually insulted that I would suggest they belong to the insane camp.


Indeed! With great freedom comes great responsibility.


I once explained that the reason I keep loaded weapons in my house is that I refuse to beg for my life in my own bedroom. Well, now apply that to the thousands of people dying in an ICU regretting that they didn't get vaccinated. Kind of the same thing to me.


Take a minute away from the political posts to watch a perfect steak being sliced.

Wait a minute. This section is not political. If you think taking a vaccine is political then you, Gentle Reader, are the problem.


Three or four times I have received comments that more or less said: "Well, black people do it too." Think of that. This is not a contest to see who can be the most stupid.


Anti Lockdown Protestors Clash with Police in Melbourne Australia.

Okay, I can at least understand their outrage. They want to pay their mortgages, feed their families, etc. Lockdown costs them money. I understand.

But wearing a mask and getting a vaccination would have meant there would be no need for a lockdown.


A local electrician is doing it right.

He advertises that they are all masked every second they are on your property and will show you proof of vaccination without being asked. That's the guy we called.

Now let me ask you this, would you call a guy who advertised this: None of us wear masks, none of us are vaccinated and we want to spend a couple of hours with your child who is too young for a vaccine and your 85-year-old mom with diabetes. 


You anti-vaxxers need to buckle up for this growing rapidly.

You relish the fact that you are free to not wear a mask or get a vaccine, but the rest of us are free not to want to have anything to do with you.

Suck it up, Sparky, you are the modern Typhoid Mary.





Not so fast, sign guy...


I give prayer the exact same amount of credence I give that shit.




She looks exactly like a server I knew. I liked her a lot.



The city of Sullivan's Island off the coast of South Carolina near Charleston asked me to adorn their huge WW1 shore battery fortification. I went with a historical theme, of course.

It's part of a National Park so I got much assistance from a park ranger who had everything I needed. He even showed me the only film that existed of the guns firing.

This is just a picture I pulled off the internet of a disappearing gun but the real one was much, much bigger. The whole point was for the gun to rise up, fire, then the recoil would drop it back down out of sight of enemy warships. Well, the film showed all the town's dignitaries and their wives and family dressed in their Sunday best gather around inside the circular enclosure very much like the one shown in the photo. When that massive canon went off EVERY person in attendance dropped to their knees or were toppled completely then immediately fled in terror. The forest ranger and I both died laughing.

Well, for the better part of a century the tourist had had their way with the structure and it was a graffiti-covered eyesore.

The park ranger showed me pictures that it was originally painted black, so that was my first chore.

I bought a very powerful airless sprayer with a very wide swath and started to work one morning. My ground man's job was to space out the 5-gallon buckets of paint so that as the airless was rolled down the walls and one bucket was empty there would be another waiting. Pure efficiency. 

So there I was with that sprayer going wide open and I came to a corner. What I had neglected to anticipate was the strong wind blowing off the ocean and ALL of the sprays came straight back in my face. As I painted further EVERY corner resulted in the same mishap until a was solid black...skin, hair, clothing. My crew chief said I looked just like Al Jolson.

As we were finishing up two young women steadied a very drunk young man as they walked toward the beach. They took one look at me and said that I should come to a great party at the house directly across the street. So after a few beers and a long hot shower at our motel, we decided to attend.

When we arrived at the party I hadn't gone two steps inside when I hear a booming voice say, "MR. HENRY!" I turned and saw a student whom I had taught in directed teaching my last year in graduate school years earlier. I pointed at him and said, "Lower Richland High School, Mrs. Gilbert's art class, last seat on the right next to the rear door. But I don't remember your name."

He died laughing and told me his name was Rupert and he was the chicken wing king of Columbia. After that, I saw the man almost every day for 30 years.


The park ranger had all the uniforms and equipment so I had him model for all the figures I placed on the structure.

The figures were cut out of sign-painter's panels and pin-gripped to the wall.

Those figures didn't survive the first summer before every...single...one...of...them were ripped off the wall and toted back to New Jersey or wherever the fuck those damn tourists came from.


Thorhees21 said...

Service and Suffice.

Robin said...

C8 - Him (Thinks) - She's a keeper.

Robin said...

and thank you so much for D5 - The Play That Went Wrong. Funniest thing I've seen in ages. You were spot on as to the best bit too.

D'Ascoyne said...


One difference between someone like Lazzaro and, say, Hunter Biden is that the Hunter isn't likely to get arrested or convicted.

Still, trafficking and raping minors is a really big deal. Lazzaro sounds like a real scumbag. He's just an activist but I guess it's guilt by association that he's shaking hands with Trump?

If you're going to be intellectually honest then don't forget that Epstein and associates is a much bigger deal than an activist, no? Sure, he shook hands with a lot if people, too, but have we forgotten who his best friends were? And at the top of that list was Bill.

D'Ascoyne said...



You're killing me.

Anonymous said...

E10: they couldn't get the vaccine if they wanted to. They're prime minister forgot to order it. There is only enough for like two or three percent of the population. Now they have an outbreak in their pissed off.
The good news, is they don't have to worry about feeding their families or paying their mortgage because the government is giving them the money to do so.

Anonymous said...

Al Jolson How dare you. That's racist.

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