About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Wednesday, August 25, 2021


 One Of My Very Own







What I heard: Wanna see who can out-stink each other, pick ticks, worry about serial killers, and fight bears for the good pooping spots?

What my wife said: Want to go camping?



When I was growing up I was lucky enough to have three male kids in my neighborhood my own age. One kid named Harry had his driveway graveled and we were told by a friend of Harry's father that a bank robber was being chased by the police and as he passed a dump truck he tossed his bags of loot up on top of the pile of gravel that was coming to the driveway. The cops gathered all the cash they could but many of the coins remained. At this point in the story the guy palmed a coin and after scratching around showed us the coin he "discovered" amongst the gravel. After three of four demonstrations, we were hooked and would spend hours sifting through the gravel...FOR YEARS! But interestingly somebody must have been seeding the driveway with loose change because we always found something.

I can even remember the exact car that my friend's mother drove over that driveway. It was a 1936 Chevy. It had a running board and we were thrilled to ride on the running board as she pulled into the driveway.

That same friend of Harry's dad who told us about the coins was the guy who gave us our first six-pack of beer when we turned 16 years old.


"You didn't fail, you just learned another way that doesn't work." I love that quote. If you can't handle failure then don't become an artist.


I was always the guy who wanted to watch other people try something before I tried it. I'm a very observant guy and could discern many things by watching them fuck it up.


Map of First Nations

There are many things wrong with that map but that's not the point. The point is that those boundaries were established after centuries of warfare and slaughter. The Native Americans did not just march over the Siberian landbridge and settle down in an area and live happily ever after. Understanding that, the white man was just the last group to usurp ownership of that piece of land.


I try to do that.


Every boy...

And girl...

...needs a dog to love unconditionally.


How observant are you? Watch this and see if you see something rather strange.

At one point it appears to have a humanoid profile.


I have a huge file of memes I like to add to my blog. I organized them by category so it doesn't take me long to find what I want.


I have accompanied enough naked or semi-naked young women in the wilderness that I know she will complain about her knees on those rocks.


I have found that the longevity of my packets is not affected by me including a DO NOT REMOVE warning. People just don't give a shit.


Lately, I have gotten in the habit of putting away all tools and supplies for a project before starting another. This has saved me countless hours of searching for shit.


I've had many people try to convince me that UFOs exist with the argument that so many people have seen them and they can't all be wrong. I counter with the number of people who swear they saw the Virgin Mary at garbage dumps, Bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster, Lizard Man, pixies, fairies, etc, etc. Eye witness accounts mean nothing to me.


I strongly recommend vascectomies. You woman won't have to take birth control pills and no more condoms.


My friend did this to the image a posted a couple of weeks ago.

I appreciate his help more than he will ever know.


People are lazy. Nobody wants to waste time and/or money. So when I see a sign like that I know they wouldn't have wasted the time if it weren't warranted.


There is something so very relaxing watching once-living things combust into dust.


I study every mural I stumble upon. I will admit that most disappoint me. Not that one so much, but most. I also wonder if electricians check out the wiring in places they visit. Or do plumbers look under sinks in bathrooms?


Most beach houses in the South have an outdoor shower that looks just like that one. Once my wife and I were taking a shower together in one of those and one thing led to another and we found ourselves fornicating into various contorted positions until we had satisfied ourselves. When we stepped out of the shower we found a half dozen people standing at the porch railing of the house next door - all displaying huge toothy grins. That was when we noticed that the privacy wall of the shower only came down to our knees and that the neighbors could watch as our legs assumed all those positions.


When writing books I was careful not to use the same word over and over. For example, I was shocked when I put the word "walk" into 'find' on my computer and discovered that I used it on almost every page. I revised "He walked into his office" to "At his desk, he discovered" or something like that.


I will confess that ANYTHING a commenter says to me is automatically discounted if they don't at least tell me their name...or even an alias. Anonymous just tells me I'm being trolled by some 14 year old in his parent's basement.


While growing up I heard religious bullshit like this almost every fucking day.

My mother actually believed that the proof of the Garden of Eden story was that men had one less rib than women. Seriously.



My neighbor is doing yoga in the backyard. Legs behind his head and hands under his… No, wait, he fell off the roof again.



That slo-mo worked rather well.


I found this hilarious.


Have any of you people ever wondered what my wife was doing before I married her?

She never met a pole she could ignore.



"That is precisely what happened to Dr. Jerzy Targalski, a Polish academic, during an important interview. Dr. Targalski was talking about Poland’s Supreme Court crisis when his kitty decided she wanted attention from her human."



Yep, the internet has completely ruined me.




Read that again.



At least there is a ton of Indian and Pakistani food to offset English cuisine.


The captain's log was bigger than expected that morning.



Make of that what you will.


Interesting juxtaposition...



The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and my name is Dracula.




It sucked away the whole puddle!


1958: David Attenborough entertains Prince Charles and Princess Anne with a cockatoo during their visit to the BBC Television Studios at Lime Grove.

High above the clouds in Santis Switzerland

"We need someone to look after the hotel while it's closed for the season..."


Yes, please.


A dramatic triplet of galaxies takes center stage in this image from the NASA/ESA Hubble Space Telescope, which captures a three-way gravitational tug-of-war between interacting galaxies. This system – known as Arp 195 – is featured in the Atlas of Peculiar Galaxies, a list that showcases some of the weirder and more wonderful galaxies in the universe.


I think she should be charged with 8,600 counts of attempted manslaughter.



Handmade irrigation system

I'm fascinated by things like that.


He is the coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.


Mom's first moments with her newborn!

She's supporting the head just like a human mom.


I was taught to constantly look for escape routes in case you need them. If there is no escape route you should slow down and increase the distance between you and the car in front of you. For this reason, I blame the truck.


"That speed bump wasn’t here yesterday." 

- Dog probably










She ain't got no panties on.




Many times I took my daughters to the mural site with me. To keep them busy I gave them my camera and let them take pictures. Here are a few that I kept...plus some others.


Fardygardy said...

re: ^^A17^^

When I worked at Kodak, back in the days they made photographic paper, the papermachine engineers would go out to lunch on Fridays as a group. They would spend half the meal studying all the papers at the restaurant (menu, receipt, napkins, you name it), to see how they were made, which side was "down" when formed, etc).
I thought it a bit weird, but soon found myself doing same.

Suppe said...

Semiprecious stones will do the same plus they are reusable.

Anonymous said...

B13: But plenty of Biden weirdly sniffing peoples hair, including young boys and girls.
C6:watch this..https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAHi3lX3oGM

Anonymous said...

The Taliban are now in possession of more Blackhawk helicopters than 166 other nations around the globe but at least there are no more mean tweets or stupid covid treatments suggested.
Lucky Strike ad from the 50s' "20,679 Physicians say "Luckies are less irritating". That was TE science.

D'Ascoyne said...


We all know in upper social circles everyone routinely get photos shaking hands. Has there been any other real association between Trump and Epstein? I mean, is there anything like, say, flight records of Trump having flown on the Lolita Express? Or any testimony that Trunp has been on Epstein's Island or of Epstein referring to Trump as his "best friend"? Or of a portrait of him in a blue dress hanging up in one of Epstein's homes? Or were they just shaking hands?

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