About Me

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I'm an artist, educator, militant anti-theist , and I write. I gamble on just about anything. And I like beer...but I love my wife. This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while.

Wednesday, September 29, 2021


 One Of My Very Own







*Verification Required



Here's how it was explained in the article:

"The last will and testament of Queen Elizabeth's consort, Philip, will be kept secret for 90 years to protect her "dignity and standing". Whatever indignities and understandings therein lie were permanently sealed in a secret and private hearing months ago by Sir Andrew McFarlane, the most senior judge in the family courts, at which no party was represented other than those of Philip's estate and the state itself."

*What the hell does "dignity and standing" mean?


If hospitals all over the country overflowing with the unvaccinated doesn't convince people to get vaccinated then we have no hope of seriously addressing climate change.


Rebecca Watson has a Bachelor of Science degree so I assume she can read peer-reviewed publications.

*Do with this as you wish.


But wait, there's more...

*Two. Million. Dollars.


*The irony is palpable.


*Verification Required


"Did Quayle save our democracy? Maybe. At least, someone says he did. But we should be less concerned with whether this particular story is true and more concerned with the indisputable truth: A president who’d been voted out demanded his vice president break the law to help him hold onto power, and because he didn’t, a mob outside erected a gallows."


We are accused of trying to "ruin" the country when we assert that the health of its citizenry should be a function of government and should not be a for-profit business.


Hey, covid mitigation deniers, I dare you to print this out and wear it on your lapel. I fucking dare you.

You will be mocked unmercifully - and justifiably.



Finally convinced my neighbor to get the damn vaccine after explaining to him that he can’t smoke if he caught COVID, because it’ll mess with his respiratory system. Once again, cannabis saves lives.



It looks like fireworks coming out of his crotch.


I'm assuming somebody did that as a gag.


"Nope, not my kid."

All I can think about is the gallons of bodily fluids coating those blocks.


Is that a threat?

 That looks like a threat to me.


Halloween is coming, time for fun with grandma...

How delightful.


Having the other holes filled in with bricks should have been a giveaway.


Now dead Norm on his funeral...


A woman gets nasty with an elephant...


This guy is reporting live on TV...

Welp that one is next.


I'm assuming he's doing that with his right hand.



Airport security testing unopened goldfish crackers for explosives doesn't strengthen my confidence in their bomb-identification skills.



How in the world do you train a dog to do that?


Speaking of, this took no training...


How very clever.

I found it very interesting that when those two images were touching the trees in the bottom image lined up with the monkey grass in the top image to look like taller trees.


I found the scene where human beings bounced their way down the upturned ship like a pinball machine terrifying.


Used sex aids...I don't think so.


"I'll take double penetration for 500, Alex."



Something Large Just Smashed Into Jupiter


You go, girl.



My wife and I joined the War on Drugs in 1974 but on the side of the drugs.



Work smarter not harder.


The Helpful Con


"I work on Trucks."

"Why did you capitalize it?"

"Let me show you."


Speaking of sledgehammers...

I can't get this out of my mind...

One of the most cringe-inducing scenes in cinema.


I had a brother-in-law who resurfaced and relined parking lots. He and his crew had to work all night so as not to interfere with parkers.


Now THAT is a business suit!


I once paid a prostitute $50 to do that to me but she didn't use a squirt bottle.


I wonder how many maulings it took to develop this impressively clever strategy.

I bet they brought the cage down the river on the boat anyway, so why drag it ashore?


A huge forklift falls over and is righted. 

No one was hurt.

I would have lost a fortune were we betting on that.


That is how I feel when I'm asked to paint a mural on a stuccoed wall and I hit it with my fist and chucks fall off. That has happened to me twice.




If this were reversed I can imagine Republicans being gleeful. I am not gleeful.


He saw this coming a long time ago...

Today people would rather die than admit they are wrong.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Steven Colbert











The owner of Columbia Office Supply wanted a unique sign. I modeled for part of it.

My dog even modeled for it...

And this is the finished sign.

Part of my pay was a computer typewriter. It was a regular typewriter with a window that displayed the text that could be edited before printing it out. I started writing my first book on that machine.

The owner of the company also hired me to paint another attention-getting sign and I will show you that tomorrow.

BTW That was the dumbest dog I have ever owned.


Plod said...

Puzzle solution: 4 / 4 + 4 * 4

Keep up the great work Ralph ....

David said...

Ummm... wouldn't that be 17?

Please excuse my aunt Sally

(4/4) + (4*4)
1 + 16

Anonymous said...

Puzzle time:
(4/4 +4)*4 =20
Have to have the parens.

Anonymous said...

Ummm.... That equals 17

D'Ascoyne said...


Rebecca Watson has a BS degree in Communications. Assume nothing, my friend.

D'Ascoyne said...


How about, "I'm a scientist, a physician and a clinical instructor of internal medicine at Stanford University. Maybe I, as well as the president of the Frontline COVID-19 Critical Care Alliance, Dr. Pierre Kory, the inventor of mRNA technology, Dr. Robert Malone and the two senior FDA officials who retired in response to the current administration policy know some things that Dr. Fauci or the FDA are not being honest about."

(I think that also outranks your blogger with the Communications degree in A6)

D'Ascoyne said...


I would love to get my dog to do that. I just can't let the wife know he was licking the tomatoes. Heck, she even freaks out about me letting the dog lick the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

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