One Of My Very Own
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EMAIL:
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FUN WITH LANGUAGE
Pay Attention.
I can remember the day I read something on the internet that convinced me that I should stop trying to "fix" my wife. She never was "broken", you see, she just did some things differently than I did.
It changed our lives.
There are huge swathes of this country who have never heard of "choose your battles carefully".
I taught Lutherique and he pronounced it Laquinthious. True.
True that.
Comet 2022 E3 (ZTF), Dan Bartlett
^^A7^^
Being called an "essential" worker that the country requires you to work during a pandemic for months and then not getting a raise. Must be soul-crushing.
And that's why I try to make all my political comments fucking hilarious. Here's an example:
My brother calls a flashlight a "Dark Sucker".
It is what you make it.
Banning books. Have we lost our fucking minds?
That includes me.
Turning off the news helps.
Speaking of the enemy of my enemy is my friend...
My mother met him and got his signature one time.
Smart guy.
Think subpoenaed Republicans.
This is a comment exchange I had recently"
Anonymous said...
A4: Waste example: My well paid (sic) school teacher daughter gets a $1,200 and then $600 stimulus check (think inflation) for what?
Ralph Henry said...
Dear A4 Anon, "Well-paid school teacher". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!
RH
I don't understand that. Anybody?
Marriage Proposal
*If Biden misused classified documents then he ought to go to jail as should anyone who does the same. That's called being an American and not just some party hack.
My wife was watching porn the other night and she said, "Well, she's not a very good nurse."
The amount of cookies I've seen the Cookie Monster waste with his bullshit chewing makes me ill.
HUMAN ODDITIES
My wife put up a Festivus Pole for years. True.
It's amazing how the G-force aged her.
Can you spot the gay guy?
Don't try that with a long mustache. Trust me.
Why would he do that?
And what was in the squirt bottle?
Combat Pilot
Christmas Tip
That's a wonderful tradition to start.
Vibrator Music
Weather Guy
If your coffee order is more than four words you are part of the problem.
People who believe in chemtrails never bother to ask themselves why airplane fuel is spiked with government chemicals but their gas-guzzling monster vehicles aren't.
Let's play
BOON OR BUST
Try to guess whether the situations end in a boon or a bust.
_______
This young man decides to take his new car to a completely empty parking lot to burn some donuts.
Boon or Bust?
Bust.
This young man is competing in a math contest that requires that he answer questions at lightning speed.
Boon or Bust?
Math Quiz
Boon.
^^C2^^
Soldiers (said to be Russian) must remove a tank from a train.
Bust.
A very heavy roll of sheet steel is being offloaded from a flatbed truck.
Bust.
A young man is filming his girlfriend on special stepstones.
Boon for one, bust for the stranger.
A sexy lady poses with her horse.
Bust.
And that's why I would never pee near a horse.
This talented young lady works for hours building a set on which to film a phone commercial.
Bust.
This worker decides to help the concrete mixer mix.
.....
Bust.
^^C8^^
This man parks his car on the street and then walks to the house to make a delivery while under the watchful eye of a police car.
Bust.
^^C9^^
Vacationers film their picturesque locale.
Avalanche
This waiter in a very fancy restaurant is delivering a lighter-than-air dessert.
Dessert
Boon.
This man wants to throw a huge chunk of ice onto a frozen lake for the sound it will make.
Boon.
A vehicle built to conquer mud meets mud.
Despite a rule prohibiting drinking on the sidewalk at the ballpark, he does it anyway.
Boon.
The shirtless young man in white shorts is attempting to run onto the field of play.
A young woman works very hard donning a costume and hiding in an ambush to scare her husband.
Boon or Bust?
A man has only his feet to stop a runaway truck.
Boon.
Men rescue a dog from a deep hole in the ground.
Bust.
This man is scraping ice from his car's window while standing on ice.
I would call that a boon - no harm, no foul.
This man will try to ride a full-grown sow.
Boon or bust?
Boon!
6 comments:
A11: it's a dark sucker upper. And the reason light bulbs turn dark when they're "burnt out" is because they are full of dark. They just can't suck up anymore dark.
^^A23^^
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Bay
A23 - I think this must refer to film director Michael Bay, well known for his explosive films.
^^A23^^
Michael Bay is a movie director who makes big budget movies with lots of explosions and such. Think 1990's action movies many of them were under his direction.
Armageddon is a good example.
B. Baggins
I knew a guy that was not found at fault for pushing his car when it ran out of gas and it hit a parked car, the technicality was he wasn't behind the driver seat so his premiums were not affected - I wonder if it's the same for the sucker whose car slid down the ice?
Enjoyed the boon or bust section. thanks
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