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EMAIL:
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GET LEARNT
*I don't know the percentages but there are a shit ton of Lees in China.
"Earth" is the sound you make when you fall out of a tree and hit the ground. At first, early humans used to laugh when they said it, thinking of the look on Groc's face when he bounced off the savannah.
*OSIT
I drink a large glass of chocolate milk every day.
And to think there are those who weigh a very slight increase in their taxes against hungry children and choose hungry children. Don't be like those people.
Just because they're cute doesn't mean it's ok to breed animals that can't breathe for your personal enjoyment.
When power lines ice up, the power company creates a controlled short circuit, the line heats up, and the ice falls off.
You should have seen the look on the face of the homeless guy watching me ride the coin-operated horse after I told him I didn't have any change.
The beauty of their women and the taste of their food made the British the best sailors in the world.
ODD HUMAN BEHAVIOR
*I assume that's from a movie but I can't identify it.
Yeah, high heels make you look so sophisticated.
Silly, silly man.
Fuck all bigoted bastards.
Were they just married?
If so, the yak looks like it was an arranged marriage.
People who believe in internet conspiracy theories are now endangering the entire species.
But how about the one that governments all over the world are spending huge amounts of money in an attempt to mitigate climate change all because they want to ruin the oil corporations.
I like finding out what my students have grown up to become. I met a friend of mine whose son was by far the most creative child I have ever taught. That kid is now a thirty your old man who is living from hostel to hostel in Europe.
I was a little disappointed to hear that.
Do they pay women for their eggs?
Magnet Fishing
I would think that right by a bridge would be a good place to rid oneself of a weapon used in a crime.
Running From Cop
He was probably on some kind of drug is my guess.
AI Jerry Seinfeld being transphobic and getting banned is probably the funniest way anything has ever passed the Turing Test.
Hosting SNL must be like jury duty for celebrities.
OBJECTS OF INTEREST
Golden Spiny Tailed Gecko
The excretion is foul-smelling as a defense.
Somebody left the barn door open.
Frog Song
Very Helpful Horse
Photographs I can tolerate
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"This is she," is the way my wife responds on the telephone. Who talks like that?
When dealing with my wife I always push all the wrong buttons when I'm just looking to hit mute.
GIVEAWAYS
I've decided to clean out my store room (garage) and give away anything I haven't used in a couple of years. My wife belongs to an internet group that alerts neighbors of items that will or will soon be placed on the curb for pickup.
Here's only a partial list of the items she listed:
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My garage (storeroom) is organized for the first time in 30 years.
Four times I put large piles of stuff on the street and every time every item was taken.
To illustrate how out of control my hoarding was, here my buckets.
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The only thing I reneged on was the slide projectors. I kept those.
8 comments:
Item B3 -
You're right. I'm fairly sure the photo is from a music video:
The 80's German band Nena, performing 99 Luftballons, or in English 99 Red Balloons.
An antiwar anthem that was very popular at the time - I would bet money that you'd recognize it if you heard it.
(not betting with you though, sorry, that would be an easy win for you!)
B3- The artist was Nena and the song was 99 luftballons (translates to 99 Red Balloons)
psm
B-3 99 luftballoons , a song by a German band called Nena. Search , listen and enjoy.......
B3, Nina, sang 99 luft balloons.
^^A10^^ I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this here before, but it's worth repeating: last November a voter initiative passed that also mandated free meals for all elementary, middle school and high school students. Paid for by an increase in tax for households with over $300,000 in income. A household at that level would pay an extra $45/year in state tax. The meals will all be prepared by local companies around the state, so it's a (small) boost to local economies too. One of the "arguments" against the measure (I'm not making this up) was "I don't want my kid eating food that I don't prepare." Well guess what, moron, they don't have to. You can feed your munchkin whatever you want.
B11 - That is hilarious. You have to love women like that!
I wonder how long she had been holding it in her mouth before she finally made it to the bank.
Puzzletime: human lurking in the cloths just above the doll's head.
I thought swordfish would be an aggressive fish? I wouldn't do that, he'll turn around and swim-charge!
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