THURSDAY #5251

 One Of My Very Own

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EMAIL: 

ralh.henry.at.folio.olio@gmail.com

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PONDERABLES

But I remind you to read my intro to this blog which states: 

"This blog contains observations from a funny old man who gets pissed off every once in a while." 

Knuckledraggers passing laws that make my friends' lives miserable pisses me off and I feel compelled to bitch about it.

^^A1^^

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Some people confuse being empathetic with being Communist.

I assure you that I am not and have never been a Communist. Hell, I've voted Republican as often as I've voted Democratic. What makes me look like a left-wing extremist nowadays is my disdain for Donald Trump and his cult-like followers.

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I know a child kind of like that. It's concerning.

^^A4^^

Excellent advice.

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People can't take advantage of you if you are useless.

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It's not premarital sex if you never get married. Follow Folio Olio for more biblical loopholes.

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FOR AMUSEMENT ONLY

It's always funnier when it happens to the beautiful people.

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Sinkholes look like what happens when a prisoner in a movie finds a spoon.

Every time I see a sinkhole I think of the classic clip...

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He also said, "Elon Musk wants NPR defunded. If he really wants it to go away he should buy it."

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*Just kidding. I DO NOT want you to send organs.

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A penny for your thoughts...

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A Walmartian in its natural habitat

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There are plenty more of those here:

SOURCE

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Self Defense

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Fun Skit

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A woman will ride in your car when she's mad at you but she's just going to turn her knees toward the door and stare out the window the whole time like a fucking Labrador.

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1 in 8 Americans have worked in a Mcdonald's.

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HUMAN ACTIVITY

When I stood on that exact same spot I gently touched the top of the wall knowing that Hitler had put his hand there.

^^C1^^

SOURCE

When Dawn Staley was hired as the University of South Carolina Women's basketball coach, her salary was more than the men's coach and the usual people went nuts. Now we have a stellar women's program that generates more money than the men/s.

^^C2^^

Cue the Benny Hill music...

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The parade must go on...

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Isn't getting as high as possible the whole point of jumping events?

^^C5^^

A Nashville senior was banned from prom because she wore a suit

I never went to a prom or a graduation.

^^C6^^

Listen Carefully

^^C7^^

Baseball Fan

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I was an excellent public speaker. There are many tricks to being an effective speaker but I credit my time as a young baseball pitcher as helping me get over my fear of standing in front of hundreds of people who are all looking only at me perform.

^^C8^^

Training Pilot

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And here is why training is important...

While I was in the military in Germany, all of my friends got their pilot's licenses. The total cost was just $300.

^^C10^^

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Someone on this planet has consumed more mayonnaise than anyone else currently alive and they don't even know it.

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It's only a murder of crows if there is probable caws.

- an absolutely brilliant segue -

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OBJECTS OF INTEREST

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Speaking of...

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Germany has commodes like that also. What is odd about them is that you shit on a waterless shelf then when you flush it water pushes it down into the drain in the front.

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Carpet

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Crocs

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Another perfect segue.

^^D8^^

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Anytime someone brags about how long they work I tell them, "Wow, it seems like you really need to work on your time management skills."

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How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks?  A person from 150 years ago would be terrified by modern life, but a duck from 150 years ago would just be like, "Still got lakes? Okay, cool."

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TRUMP'S LEGAL WOES

*MNBT

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